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Old 12-04-2020, 09:16 AM   #566
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Default Dice Dare Gone Wild

Note to self: Negotiate permission to edge whenever doing anything with anal. DO NOT FORGET. EVER. AGAIN.

When Bdsub proposed my dice dare as a task, I hadn’t yet realised where the real difficulty would be. I was focused on how long it could take to get through the entire dare, knowing the different elements of it were all things I could handle and thrive on. When Sir told me we’d be completing that task last night, it hit me. I did not have permission to edge. This was a rough anal dare, the thing highest on my list of likes, and I. Couldn’t. Edge.

Trepidation was the right word for the state I was in. How absolutely ironic that it was another task I (in some ways) set myself that would be my downfall.

After two days of no touch, evenings filled with squirm-worthy tasks like the Kink Games, and a long walk and dinner with a crotchrope, dildo, and plug, my body was primed for pleasure. Just rereading the different phases involved in the dice dare I designed had me squirming and desperate about my chances of surviving without edging or stopping. Sir started the timer and rolled the dice for me, making me feel like this was truly out of my control. The start roll had me finger my ass as warm-up, before looking at my dildo and begging Sir to fuck my ass hard, to make it hurt. Anyone who’s read yesterday’s blog post must realise that turned me on beyond measure. I begged on my knees, out loud, and got hit by the desire to truly be fucked like that. For Sir to force me on my stomach and to take me.

Which didn’t help me to stay calm for the next element of the task. According to the dice, Sir felt like variation while he fucked my ass. Three minutes fast and shallow, three minutes moderate depth and speed, three minutes slow and deep. Oh, and I got to ride the 9 inch dildo in front of the mirror so I’d see the full effect and the writing proclaiming Sir’s ownership on my entire body. The ONLY reason I survived was because of the variation and the absence of the fast and hard combination, which would have broken my best efforts to stay off the edge, biting through my lower lip and all.

My thighs were shaking and burning when the next dice roll showed me my luck didn’t last. No lovely intermezzo sucking my dildo or spanking my ass for me. Instead, I got to be fucked hard and fast for 8 minutes while bent over my desk. I lasted all of three minutes before I had to stop, seconds away from a mind-shattering edge. My entire body was covered in goosebumps, trembling, shivering with the haze of pleasure, the fear of near-disobedience, and the belief I wouldn’t be able to finish this task and would let Sir down. While I spent five minutes on my knees trying to calm down, it was that fear and more precisely the determination not to let him down that had me sink deep into submission. The calm that descended over me had my breathing even out and my focus sharpen. When the timer started again, that calm determination (and the much less calm bites right over the bruise on my arm I left during the Kink Games) allowed me to survive the second attempt.

I thought I’d experienced quite some fucking with my mind before, but fighting against pleasure, putting someone else’s pleasure above my own, having my submissive mind rule my body in a moment that’s all instinct almost destroyed me.

As (mild) discipline for stopping in the previous phase, Sir decided I would finish phase 5, even though it would take me over the 40 minutes agreed for the task, and it felt like the right thing to do. The last dice roll decided on an assfuck of 12 minutes. Sir allowed me to go slow, which was my only chance to survive without edging. Even so, the slow thrusts while I laid on my side on the bed built the pleasure inside my body to a desperate crescendo. The additional instruction in the dare to occasionally beg Sir to make it hurt and to grind the dildo deep and hard was my saving grace. It hurt enough to break through the haze of pleasure, enough to compensate for the additional spikes of lust caused by hearing myself beg.

Getting to the end, knowing I’d somehow made it, hearing Sir tell me he was proud of me, knocked me further down into a submission so deep it made me ache. With the need to be held. To hear those words out loud.

It took me hours of rest and the kindest comfort and care and Sir’s presence to emerge from the slowness of my limbs and mind. It took a night sleep and a hard session of physical exercise to get my mind completely back on track. And it took me courage to show you all how deep I can fall, even in the face of a task I love.

Because that too is part of submission. The beauty and the pain. The calm and the fear. All of it, worth it.
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