***Disclaimer: if I mention more than one keyword in this report, forget about it. It DOES NOT COUNT. Fine, now on to the actual report
***
I may have broken a few rules in this thread. Guess Bdsub has lost the ‘rulebreaker’ moniker and it’s now solidly attached to my name. In response to the doubleposting Dungeonmaster tempted me into, Bluedieblub gave me a delightful punishment that explored my new ‘hidden public’ like.
After messing with my mind
through Madscience’s ‘extra training’ and the desperate state it left me in, the calm in blue’s task spoke to me. I inserted my large plug and a dildo in my pussy that I can walk around with—though the fullness is intense, got dressed, and grabbed a notepad and pen. As instructed, I used the five minute walk to a bench on a public square close to my place to really experience the movement of the dildo and plug, fucking me with every step. It’s not so much the fucking that got to me, it was the absolute fullness combined with a lack of friction because the movements are too small. By the time I got to the bench, I was reconsidering whether the task was going to bring me calm.
I settled on the cold bench, which pressed the plug and dildo deeper inside of me, and thought about how I relinquish control, accept instructions, how I crave the calm that follows my submission. Knowing all I need to do is follow orders and do the best I can. The reflection settled me, until it was time to pull out the notepad and pen. It wasn’t quiet around me—there were people milling around, cars parking nearby, people getting in and out and throwing (what felt like) strange looks at the woman with the notepad while it’s 6 degrees outside. It’s not the first time I’ve been writing outside, though usually it’s stories or thoughts I put down on paper. I didn’t think it would feel very different, until I realised that
the neat row of 30 short sentences, ‘I want to be used and controlled’, was nothing like what normal writing would look like.
The usual calm focus I get while writing lines wasn’t there. There was a jittery energy, that made me jump at the noise of car doors being slammed shut and had me look around too often. Every time that happened, I clenched on the dildo and plug, and it reminded me once more of the truth of what I was writing. I calmed down a little when I was done, though I wasn’t allowed to close the notepad yet. With a timer on ten minutes, I sat there, rereading the lines and accepting them for what they were—true. Watching other people pass by and wondering what they’d think if they knew. Finding out that, while exposure would still be a nightmare, it’s less terrifying to me than it was a few weeks ago. That submission has given me a quiet confidence in who and what I am.
I walked back, still jittery and only getting worked up more by the insufficient friction of every step I took. Once I got home, I closed the front door, pulled down my jeans right there in the hallway and got on the ground. Face down, I fucked myself with the dildo and plug, finally feeling my holes stretch around the hard- and fast-moving toys until I edged and slumped, panting and more tired than I thought I would be after reading the task the first few times.
As I did out loud in that hallway, I want to thank Dungeonmaster for setting up this punishment he knew I’d enjoy. And to thank bluedieblub for giving it to me and designing it in a way that allowed me to discover something new.
Now it seems I have another punishment to collect this weekend