[Silvana]

I am 44 year old heterosexual married woman. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have a 15 year old daughter ! I am 5 ft 11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed(i have very large breasts) i can even carry a few extra pounds without looking tubby.


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I've always had big boobs. I easily had the largest chest in my high school. I am big woman. I am 5 ft 11 and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE! But I love my height and my curvy stature. About a year ago I was at Costco with my and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" I don’t intend to dress in any particular ‘way’ for anyone. I just wear what I like. I wear clothes that fit me properly.


Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks – something I have no control over. I can’t help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get.

My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was ‘too short’ or ‘too tight’, or there was something wrong with my dress-sense.


My husband is extremely jealous of any kind of attention I get. Please note I am not trying to sound conceited at all, but my looks and body shape get me quite a lot of attention from men. It's been that way since I started developing as a young teenager. I don't give in to these remarks or anything, but it still bothers him to no end. He'll get really clingy and start grabbing all up on me I guess to make it known we're together, which that can get frustrating sometimes.


It'll bug him to death if I go out without him dressed up,texting and calling me about what I'm doing and who I'm with. This is very tiring. I don't like being told what to do or wear as I'm not a child. I'm not allowed to have any guy friends. My husband even doesn't allow me to talk to other guys. The irony is that all this time my husband is been afraid of men – when really, it was a short, skinny older women he should have feared. My husband doesn't want me around other guys, so i only attend these all female events..



I wanted to start a book club, ever since I saw a book club scene in the beginning of season 3 of Lost. So about 10 months ago i started this women-only book club.

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First book club meeting.

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I had event on Facebook with 16 women "going". We decided to take turns hosting which means - your home, your book pick, and you provide food. This woman Deb who is a bed and breakfast innkeeper offered to host the first meeting at her place. So we met there. I arrived there. I got out of the car. I was wearing my long black fur coat, a red long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top tucked into black satin pencil skirt, sheer lace hold up nylon stockings and 5 inch heels red shoes. I had full make up on.

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There were 16 women in their 40s and 50s mingling outside waiting for it to start. This skinny really short like 5 ft 3 ugly pale face creepy brown eyes thin lips light brown haired with Chin-Length haircut kinda masculine woman in her mid 50s walked up to me and said " Hi. My name is Ruth. You have such a regal bearing. You are so elegant. Wow. You are such a big woman. Standing next to you i look like a midget. The size difference between us is beyond comical. You are the tallest woman here. You are towering over everybody " She was in flat shoes and i was on high heels, i am 5ft11 tall and that, coupled with being well built and well endowed , i was really like a giant standing beside this weird woman. Also all other women there were shorter than me. I was really towering.


"I am unemployed and broke. I am 53 year old and I have always been poor I don't know how to make money. I don't want to die poor. I am practically homeless. I live in my cousin's garage. But i read alot. I have read well over 500 books. That is why i joined your book club". she told me. Then i saw this B&B innkeeper host Deb.
"Holy shit she looks like a short skinny ugly effeminate man."

That was the very first thought that came into my head as I laid eyes upon this B&B innkeeper woman Deb for the very first time. I was surprised. On her FB photos she looked taller, younger and more feminine.

It wasn't just that she was short like 5ft2 tall, she was skinny and masculine! She was in her late 50s. She had short red hair, thin lips, green eyes, ugly freckled face.
she was wearing this ugly gray unisex suit and flat shoes.


I walked over to this innkeeper small woman Deb and I introduced myself to her. We started talking about the book club. .

About 5 minutes later we entered in this like living room.. I took my coat off and hung it on a coat hanger by the door. One short skinny shorthaired asian- looking woman in her late 40s asked me" Why are you so overdressed? You look so glammed up. ".

" I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I ’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time." I answered to her.



The women started claiming seats and i was lucky enough to claim a large green living room chair. This small skinny Chin-Length haircut pale weird woman Ruth walked towards me and asked me.

"Hey, you mind if I squeeze in here."

"Who me?" i said.

"Haha, yes big woman" she laughed.

"Sure."

Ruth eased her body in beside me on my left side. A tight fit in the chair. The chair was luxurious for one but a tight squeeze for two. As Ruth sat down i felt her right arm rub against my left arm.

I was kinda nervous. Then this small ginger host Deb got up from her chair and started her discussion about the book she choose(Every Breath by Nicholas Sparks).
And then Ruth took her arm off her lap and placed it in the small gap between our thighs. I felt her hand sitting there touching the sheer lace hold up nylon stockings that i wore. Ruth acted normal. I guessed she was just changing positions.

The small ginger host Deb just kept rambling on about the book.

Suddenly i felt Ruth's hand lift off my thigh and slide behind the small of my back and lock onto my far side. Ruth looked at me, smiled and whispered "Sorry big woman its a little crowded, do you mind?"

"No that's fine." I reluctantly answered with smile on my face. A mask that did not betray my inner turmoil. Ruth shifted and moved a little closer to me so that she was completely nestled against my left side. She squeezed me in closer.

I looked around. I looked at each person in the room. No one even glanced at me. They were all listening this ginger host Deb. She just kept rambling on about the book. She was speaking about the book so, of course, everyone had been looking at her . I was pretty sure now that Ruth was not just getting comfortable.



I felt Ruth stroke the side of my stomach. Touching and lightly feeling what she could. And i did nothing but focus on the uncomfortable feeling of her fingers rubbing across my side.

Her fingers twirled and stroked my side. And she kept extending the reach of her stroke. Her touch had initially been local but as the host Deb went on with her discussion Ruth moved her hand all over my side where she could reach. Suddenly i felt one of the fingers of her hand on my side had extended and was stroking the underside of my right breast. I felt uncomfortable so i got up and said "i just need to stretch my legs." I started circling the room. The ginger host Deb finally finished her discussion about the book and sat on her chair. Then i asked these women to talk about the book.

As I walked from woman to woman, all of a sudden i tripped on my heels , throwing my entire body off balance and on my way towards the ground the small ginger Deb reached out for me, grabbed me by the waist and pulled me towards her. My ass grounded itself into her lap.

I took a moment to realize what happened and the position I'm in. I begin to lift myself but Deb's right arm was firmly secured around my lower torso. I looked back at her to catch a small grin planted on her face I tried to lift myself off of this weird small ginger Deb's again before being pulled back down on her.



"You are so heavy Silvana, but your place is here on my lap. You are our book club president" she said jokingly. " Sit back and relax."

So i just kept sitting on this small skinny ginger older woman Deb's lap facing forwards away from her. I felt really awkward because i am not a touchy feely person so sitting on people's laps isn't something I'd usually do. I sat on her lap for 20 minutes or so, while Deb was resting her hands on my hips, feeling slightly awkward about it..

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TO BE CONTINUED