In which ways does it turn you on to be in denial for Butterfly, physical, mental, emotionally? How does it show?
It turns me on simply to have her be in control of my penis and pleasure. It's a very personal and deep level of control and mostly on a mental level. It may very well turn me on physically, as Miss told me she plans to have me horny at least 50% of the time.
Which phases of denial have you experienced so far over the length of your denials? How do they differ in detail?
I am not sure I can define phases. Mostly it hasn't been too hard, except for the times when I got really horny and I wanted to cum. But most denial days I have not been too horny so then it is rather easy. I haven't gotten to the point of desperation over a longer period of time yet. I am hoping, AND scared, that I will get to that point this time
What part played being in chastity for you so far in regard of denial?
I assume you mean physical chastity with a device? Not a lot, thankfully I might say. I don't LOVE wearing them. It doesn't do much for me in terms of horniness. I do like the idea of it being locked away and thus more visibly owned by Miss Butterfly and it can be a nice and cozy feeling, but as you will read further down, sleeping is a pain and I prefer mental denial overall
What challenges did and do the quality lacks of chastity devices pose for you, for example regarding comfort, sleeping, visibility, safety from physical harm, security against getting out up to turtling, and hygiene?
The main challenge is sleeping. It's terrible. I can sleep, but I constantly wake up, at least once every hour, often more, in pain. I tried getting used to it and being able to get a good night sleep wearing it, but while I have gotten better at falling asleep with it, I still can't have a good night sleep while wearing it. Having to wear it overnight basically equals sleep deprivation and it makes me grumpy in the morning. So I'm happy Miss doesn't make me sleep with it often. Another challenge is hygeine. If I wear it longer than a day my penis really stinks when I take it out.
Besides the sleeping issues, I can't see myself wearing it for days on end without taking it off for cleaning.
The Holy Trainer isn't too visible through pants, but you can still see a slight bulge which makes me a bit self consious. I don't care so much in general public, but if close to someone then it becomes a problem.
Under which circumstances would you prefer being in chastity during your denial? Which lacks of quality could you live with? With which couldn't you?
I would prefer not to be, honestly. Certainly not 24/7 and at night, because of the sleeping problems I mentioned. But also being in chastity doesn't make me horny, and I prefer to be made horny during my denial. If I COULD sleep with it comfortably then I would probably enjoy wearing it for a bit longer at a time. Not because it makes me horny but more for the challenge and the 'freindly' reminder that Miss fully owns my cock.
As I said before: I think the Holy Trainer is secure enough. I haven't found a way to get out of it anyways.
How and why did
that story arouse you? (thanks for the comment, btw
)
I loved reading the you getting fucked in both holes part. Even though I'm scared of it and I totally freaked out that time when I WAS about to get fucked in the ass by a guy (and Miss changed his penis into a dildo at the last minute), it's a fantasy I have and the thought turns me on very much.
It turns me on to be used literally like just a sex object, being fucked in my holes in any way they please without regard for my comfort. I think it would be terrible and fantastic at the same time if it were to ever happen to me.
The way you described it was very visual too. Good story telling skills!
Are you looking forward to the one year denial you begged for? How so? What are you happily anticipating about it? What do you fear?
Yes and no. Honestly both yes and no. Yes, because I like a challenge and I know I would feel proud when I succeed. I also want to do it simply because Miss Butterfly wants me to. It is the ultimate form of submission.
No, because I'm scared. If I will be as horny as I have been like Miss told me I would be for at least 50% of the time, I don't know if I can take it mentally.
I do trust Miss Butterfly with my life, so I will still jump all in and leave it up to her. But I really don't know what will happen and that scares me.
Btw, the year hasn't officially started yet. Miss promised me one last orgasm before it does. I don't know when that will be, but I'm guessing on my birthday soon.