I get to Jenn's house a little ahead of time. I left Jim at the beach with Tom and Jimmy, wished them a nice evening and hurried over to the bus stop. I rode all the way near my apartment. I haven't been here in a while.
As I near, I step off early and pick up some food for Jennifer and me. I'd like fried chicken, but I remember Jenn is not feeling so good, so I purchase a chicken salad instead and some light drinks. I make my way up the stairs. I go to knock on the door before I remember this is actually my place too. I push open the door and enter.
I hear the television in the background. Our roommates are away for the entire week so Jennifer has the entire apartment to herself. When I get to the living room, I see Jennifer sitting on the couch, watching some kind of action movie in her bathrobe. Her hair is still wet. She turns her head and gets up, then hugs me tightly before kissing me on the lips.
"Hi. I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad I'm here too."
I show her food. She drags me to the kitchen where we get plates and ustensils. I set the food on the table and we dig in. She seems to have a good appetite.
"Thanks."
"Have you eaten anything since this morning?"
"Just some soup."
"You must be starving!"
We share the meal. I tell her about my day, the swim and the sunbathing. She doesn't ask anything about Jim, but she does inquire as to how things are going between Tom and Jimmy. He must have told her about it.
"Okay, I suppose. It's hard to tell if Jimmy likes Tom as a friend or more. I just know he likes Tom.
"Is it true they've had sex in the past?"
"No, not sex. Just mutual blowjobs. Who told you that?"
"Nobody. It's the way Tom was talking about it."
We digress and talk about other things. We finally get back to the topic of our own relationship.
"Do you love me, Sarah?"
"I do. You're my best friend."
"I mean, love me. Really love me?"
I have to take a moment to consider my answer, not for itself but for its implications. The fact that I do makes Jennifer look away.
"That's what I thought."
"Wait a minute, Jenn..."
"It's okay. I get it."
I get up from my chair and walk across to her side of the table. I kneel in front of her and put my hand on hers, resting on the table.
"You know how I feel. Why are you making this hard?"
"I'm sorry."
"Jenn, this is me. We've known each other for years. You're my best. You don't have to apologize."
We fall silent. I'm the first to speak.
"I wanted it to work too, you know."
"The threesome?"
"I did. I love you so much."
"Why can't Jim be like a regular guy about it?"
We laugh. Most guys would fall in love with such an arrangement. Two gorgeous girls to have a passionate and sensual, not to mention sexual relationship with. It boggles the mind that Jim would not be into it, but I've learned to understand that Jim is more complex than most individuals I've been with.
"It did get us to talk about a lot of things, though. I'm grateful for that."
"Lucky you. Meanwhile, I'm here, pining away all alone."
"Jenn, we can have sex if we want to. Jim's okay with it."
Jennifer stares at me like I'm from another planet.
"If this was about sex, you think it would be a problem? This is about more than that. It's about being happy. I'm not happy right now."
"Why aren't you happy?"
"Because... I'm not with anyone."
"That makes you unhappy?"
"I see you with Jim, Bonnie and Barrie, Brad has his own girl now, even Tom is trying to get hitched. Claire and Cassie, they've been together for years now too. And me... I don't have anyone. I really am... alone."
"You've never been the type to settle down."
"I don't want to settle down. I want something steady. It used to be you, because you had no one else, I could call upon you and you'd help me. Now... it's different."
I take a step back.
"How is is different, Jen?"
"For starters, you're never here anymore. Any time we wanted to do something, we just did it. Now, you have to ask for permission."
"I don't!"
"You do, you just don't do it consciously. It's always about Jim, never about us."
I try to find something to say but end up staring at the ground. She makes a good point.
"What have you done since you started going out with Jim that he wasn't involved with or that did not approve? He was involved in everything we did."
"Not everything..."
"You get my point."
"I do. Jenn, this is really about us, not about him."
"It is. I always fancied you and I would get back together... or at least remain... friends with benefits."
We both stare into the void. Our relationship has become so much more complex in the past few months. Simple things now seem convoluted.
I close my eyes. I start stripping, top to bottom.
"Sarah, what are you doing?"
I pretend I don't hear her and keep getting naked. When I take off my bra, she gets up and walks over to me.
"We don't have to sleep together, you know."
"I know. And we don't have to. But I'm home. I should be able to get naked in my own home, right?"
She smiles at me and steps back. I remove everything and stand naked in front of her. She stares at my shape for a moment, but neither of us makes a move. I turn around and head for my bedroom, where I recover my own bathrobe and put it on. She joins me there, dragging my clothes back to the room. I turn to her.
Without a word, we return to the living room. I peruse our collection of DVDs and select an erotic comedy. I show it to Jenn.
"Want to watch it?"
It's one of her favorites. It's a story about two women uncovering their love for each other, while each is trying to maintain a semblance of a normal life with their respective male partners. I plug the disk into the machine and go sit beside Jennifer on the couch. We watch the story unfold, like all the times before. The girls train at the same gym, go to the same spa, hang out together at the tennis court, do groceries together. One night, both their husbands are out of town, they get drunk and decide to experiment; before they even realize it, they're teasing each other so much they almost set fire to the carpet. They decide they've had enough for one night. The husbands come back from their trip; one notices the rug and suspects his wife is having an affair; he sets up a hidden camera.
A week later, he goes on another trip; upon getting back he is shocked to discover his wife and that of his best friend making out on his couch. He goes to talk to his friend about it, so they hatch a plan to catch them in the act. Little do they know that the other wife has overheard them; the women decide to play a game on their husbands in return.
My favorite scene arrives in the movie; the men have been caught watching the girls; the girls ask the men if they want them to continue. The men say yes, but the girls say that the men must do whatever they want the girls to do as well. The scene ends up getting very awkward for the guys who end up making out on the couch, while the women watch; the women then make out for the men; things go awry when one husband has had enough and darts off.
After that, the movie gets boring until the end, where the couples decide to have sex together, but with their respective partners. I can't tell you how many times Jennifer and me got off on that particular scene. We imagined we were there with these couples. Now though, we're just leaning against each other, caressing each other's hair and holding hands.
The movie ends. Jennifer kisses me gently on the lips. She looks so tired.
"Are you sleepy?"
"Yeah. I can barely stay awake."
"It's barely past nine!"
"I know. I'm just beat."
I drag her to the bedroom and remove her bathrobe. I slide her under the covers. For a moment, I hesitate, then I take off my own bathrobe and join her under the sheets. I lay her head on my shoulder.
"Sleep now. I'll watch over you."
Jennifer kisses me goodnight and lets herself drift away. I won't get to sleep anytime soon, but at least I'm taking care of my friend. I caress her hair; I let one hand slide across her back. I wonder for a moment if Jim is all right, but I decide to leave him be for the night. It's not that I don't love him; it's that Jennifer needs my full attention right now. I am somewhat disappointed that we didn't have sex, but I am relieved that we have resolved most of our issues, or at least gotten them out.
Tomorrow is Thursday. This has been an eventful spring break, and it's not over yet. My mind drifts to thoughts of Brigitte, Julie and who else might want to get in my bed now. I return to Jim, to his embrace and find solace in his understanding. One thing at a time, he says, and I want it to be so. He just wants me to be open about everything. But can it really work? Could I just go out, have an adventure with someone, and just come back and talk to him about it? I remain skeptical.
A part of me still wants to try it though. I just don't know which one will win out in the end. After all, I've already shown I rarely keep my promises.
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I hope this answers your question, offkilter
Still to come - Thursday's up (part 18)... It's Jim's turn to spend some time alone with Jennifer, while Sarah goes to to the beach - can Jim and Jennifer learn to deal with one another?
Plus - Friday's gonna be a very big day indeed. Part 19 is being written, and so far contains seven different posts for the events that unfold during the day; things get more intense than ever for our beloved characters, now that Julie will be in charge...
Oh and someone dies. NOT!