I wouldn't call it cruel, exactly, but ...Making me ask to continue being denied.
I don't usually do longer denial (as it tends to upset my moods on a day-to-day basis), but I'd agreed to try for a month for my partner. By halfway through, I was, predictably, struggling with it. My brain wanted to please. My body wanted to orgasm. I was a lovely, delightful mess (just as intended).
As he pushed me to the edge, he began to whisper in my ear.
"Do you want to cum?"
"Yes!"
"But are you going to?"
"No..."
"...I wouldn't hold it against you, you know. You could cum right now, stop all this, and have allll those orgasms you've been holding off."
"But ...I ...I want to keep my promise." I'd put in a lot of effort to get this far already.
He nodded, not letting up on the stimulation. "If you really want to wait until the end of the month, just ask me to stop."
My brain overloaded. I wanted to go on. I didn't want to disappoint. My body wanted to let go.
He continued, "If you don't ask, we'll just keep going. Just like this. You wouldn't mind that, would you?"
It was hard to speak. It was hard to THINK.
"I wouldn't be mad," he promised. "We're just doing this to see what happens, right?"
I could feel myself running out of time, but that only made it harder to form words. "... ... ...Please...??"
"Please, what?"
At that moment, something in my brain fell apart. The request tumbled out in a helpless stream of desperation. "Please ...don't make me cum. I want to be good. Please stop."
And as the words rushed out... it all ...stopped.
It was lovely.
And terrible.
And important.
...Perhaps a littttle bit cruel.
But I did make it to the end of the month - grumpily and resentfully, at times, but I made it! So it was an informative experience, and I'm glad I had it, even if it felt impossible at moments like that. Does that count as cruel?
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