Thread: sexist?
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Old 10-11-2018, 02:53 PM   #3
ExplorerOfDesires
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: The Netherlands
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Depends on the context.

At work I try not to be and think that I succeed.

Sure I make sexists remarks, but only if I know that the other people are similar minded or at least won't be offended. But if there are people around that I do not know well yet, I am cautious. And as to the sexists remarks, women are free to join and some do.

But in general I try to value people on their capabilities, even though unconscious biases can make this is very hard. I know of a woman who works relative short at the same place as I do of who I'm pretty convinced she is smarter than I am. You could say that because I view her like that, I am not sexists, yet this still might not be sufficient. Just like me she has a physics background and reads the same (geek) stuff. The trick question would be if I would make similar assumptions if I would talk to a woman at work who is in her behavior a bit more feminine. I think I still judge the same, but I should do some serious soul searching to be more convinced about my claim.

Relationship wise I think it varies.

I do know that I like 'the role' of the person who is calm and provides protection, that somehow feels natural. In general that results into most of the times being on equal terms but not always completely equal. And in the bedroom this plays out a bit more. Still at times, sometimes everyone is on equal terms, but at other times she has a lot less to say about what is going to happen (which does absolutely not mean she receive any pleasure).
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