[Mistress_Louisa]

1. What's your bday? 31st January

2. How many children do you want to have? I wouldn't mind a little brood of around 3...some day!

3. What would their names be? (First and Middle) Probably Anna for a girl, and either Cameron, Alexander or Patrick for a boy.

4. At what age would you like to have these kids? Oh, once I've settled in my job and whatnot...probably about 3/4 years down the line. But who really knows with these things?!

5. Any pets? Alas, no - my flat is a bit small for pets.

6. If yes, what kind? N/A

7. What is your dream vehicle? A flying carpet.

8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there? Oh, Berlin in autumn time, without a doubt. It's a long-standing wish of mine! I'd just enjoy the warm colours, the museums and whatnot. Bliss!

9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? I'd say eyes and lips are tied - eyes can be very expressive and intimate...as can lips, hehe.

10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why? A copy of Robert Louis Stevenson's South Sea Tales, because it's one of my favourite story collections, and seems appropriate , tehehe! Musical devices would run out of battery, so I'd take my old acoustic guitar and teach myself. A photo album, including pictures of my family, friends, and boyfriend. Finally, some knitting needles and wool, to pass the time...and knit myself a warm blanket, haha!

11. Describe your perfect date? Anything that involves good conversation over a meal (preferably Thai or Italian), perhaps a movie...and kinky late-night sex, tehehe!

12. What is your darkest fantasy? I don't think I have a 'dark' fantasy, as such!

13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose? I would be more secure in myself and my abilities...I'd have a smaller nose. Hehe, shallow, me? And, finally, I'd be a bit funnier

14. Describe your perfect man or woman. It's very simple, really: someone who respects me, makes me feel loved, and who understands me. I think I have that right now, which makes me unspeakably happy (It helps that he's hot and let's me spank him, tehehe!)

15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth? I don't have a problem with it...provided ass is clean, haha!

16. Have you ever given a rimjob? Indeed I have.

17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation? Oh, I'm sure Jerry Bruckheimer will answer that question in some CSI spin-off soon...

18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality? Not really my cup of tea, to be honest. Plus, I do enjoy my lack of a criminal record!

19. If yes what animal? N/A

20. If no, but were forced to, what animal? I don't care if you put a gun to my head, it doesn't interest me, thus I wouldn't do it.

21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose? Ouch. I'd take it myself. I'd rather zone out and deal with my own pain that watch it being inflicted upon someone I love. If it's forced upon me, I'm helpless. But I could never forgive myself for idly watching this happen to another human being, regardless of whether or not they were my friend.

22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen? On pretty cupcakes and knee socks, tehehe.

23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do? Sounds very narcissistic and boring, but I'd go back to see myself as a 14 year old, and assure myself that it all gets better, haha. Nah, really...I'd go back to the seventeenth century, because it's a damn interesting period in Scottish history. I'd go to the court of King James VI and sip some wine, have a dance, and experience court life of the Renaissance!

24. Do you like chocolate? I'm more of a savoury snacker, but I do like it, yes.

25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft? Because big things always start out as little things, concocted by geeks in their musty bedrooms.


26. What's your dream life? If I can be happy and by the side of someone I love, I don't need much else beyond a job that I actually want to go to in the morning, a trip to pub with my mates at the weekend, and a good book and DVD collection, hehe. True!

27. What scares you the most and why? How about the pervert who has called my house four times in the last 5mins? He scares me

28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world? Frosty mornings, lightning scorching the sky, and fresh green woodland.

29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why? For men, good strong arms that both look good, and make me feel protected. For women, the dip under the hip bone, because it's so delicate and sexy.

30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change? Because if they watched it would be degrading and voyeuristic. They should only look at your body once it's ready for examination, in a purely clinical manner.

31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food? Nope.

32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges? N/A

33. If so, which ones? N/A

34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally? Work through the death of my granddad. For obvious reasons.

35. What are your two biggest regrets? That I wasn't confident enough to go make more friends as an undergrad at uni - I think it would have led me on a different path in my earlier twenties. Also that I haven't been to Berlin in autumn, hehe.

36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different? I would have been a bit more socially outgoing - that's the long and short of it. I think it would have helped me extricate myself from a relationship I was in at the time that I really shouldn't have been in.

37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family? Hehe, probably my mum. She can be a moody bugger, but she's also one of my best friends.

38. Who's the worst? I love my family.

39. What are you most jealous of? Only small banal things in life, and I try not to be even then. I'm not always successful, hehe.

40. Are you OCD about anything? I'm a bit of a neat freak, as my boyfriend will confirm, hehe.

41. What would you do if your best friend died? I'd be devastated, naturally. I'd probably retreat into myself for a bit...but I'm also a strong person, and I know I'd be ok eventually.

42. Do you have crash courses for pilots? Um, pardon?

43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be? Erm, my habit of being a bit over-sensitive and analytical at times. It can cause problems!

44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be? Oh, I can think of person who tends to irritate me. But severing all ties seems a bit extreme!

45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know? Both would be a tragedy. But I guess I'd rather be blissfully ignorant of my emotional losses than constantly faced with them.

46. What size is your bed? Tis a double bed.

47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down? To prevent entry of scavengers and insects.

48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose? Oh, gee, let me think...CHEESE, no question, tehehe.

49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want? To live closer to my boyfriend.

50. What is more important - lust or love? Aren't both inextricably linked? Love without lust is simply friendship, and lust without love is a bit...empty, in my humble opinion.

51. Define marriage in a sentence. Ask me when I'm married!

52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count? The number of questions in this quiz

53. Does size matter? My dirty mind has immediately jumped to penis size here. And my answer is...I don't know! I've never experienced a smaller size!

54. Do you have any STDs? Nope!

55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill? Hehe, I don't know...why don't you ask Crossdress Bitch?

56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability? Ummm...I'm not fond of reverse cowgirl, which seems a bit disappointing to some!

57. What’s your favorite position? I'm proud to say that missionary gets it done...good and proper, hehe. Other than that, I do like being on top, and I also like spooning and doggy style.

58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free? Good point. But don't ask me, I'm not an advertiser, hehe.

59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.) Alas, no.

60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex? Probably the public walkway of a local park. Very exposed and risky!

61. How often do you masturbate? It really varies. At least once a fortnight, anyway. Sometimes several times in one day!

62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? I'll be sure to test that and get back to you...

63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating? Genuinely no idea! Possibly a month or two...but that's a guess.

64. Have you ever made a self-porn? Not yet, but I do rather want to!

65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex? Oh yes. I do hope Crossdress Bitch's laptop is never stolen or hacked, hehe.

66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for? DIY assistant. I can't DIY, haha.

67. Did you get it? I did, somehow! I even worked there for three years, hehe.

68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it? Ah, probably!

69. What’s your biggest pet peeve? People who are happy to take, take and take, but are less willing to give back in return.

70. Have you ever worked on a farm? Can't say I have, no.

71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say? Gesundheit!


72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be? Um...I would have taken piano lessons.

73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower? Occasionally, if the mood takes me.

74. How often have you driven over the speed limit? Oh, fairly regularly on the motorway. Oops!

75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone? About 95mph...so nothing too naughty. Ahem.

76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do? Scratch that down-low itch, tehehe!

77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why? Dogtanian, man. He's one suave doggy.

78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger? Bickering with my younger sister. Otherwise I was a bit of a goody-two-shoes.

79. What is the one thing that disgusts you? Bigotry/racism etc - essentially moral ignorance.

80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell? Ask a scientist.

81. What was your nickname in high school? Just 'Lou'...a bit dull, haha.

82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why? Inception. Cos I'm a sly, dreamy muthafucka, hehe. Just kiddin'.

83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life? I think a lot of my choices and personality comes down to the influence of my granddad...my fellow literary lover and intellect.

84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race? I love the emotional fragility and capability of the human race. And hate it's propensity for intolerance and hatred.

85. When did you first travel by airplane and where? Probably to Spain for a family holiday as a child...so I would have been approximately 6/7 years old.

86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning? Have a cup of tea!

87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity? I love Scotland. can't stay here, pretty please?

88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance? Because the ambulance service doesn't owe you a free starter when they're late, hehe. Or, you live in a shitty tax area.

89. Do you think you are selfish? No...I hope not.

90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom? Because it's crass?

91. What is your favorite drink? Tea. Oh yeah, I'm a rock star, hehe.

92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? Semi-skimmed milk, king prawns, tortelloni pasta, mince, olives, Diet Coke, cheese, rocket salad, mushrooms, peppers, onions and various other bits and bobs. Have I been deemed healthy, haha?

93. What is the last book you read? I'm in the process of reading a graphic novel version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Tis good! Aside from that, Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go, which I love quite a bit.

94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States? I genuinely have no idea, having never been to the US...probably in the hundreds of thousands?

95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want? ??? Pleb would be fine, hehe.

96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? About a Girl. Cos it's simples.

97. How would you describe yourself in three words? Happy, scholarly, and...kind? I hope, anyway.

98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had. He went by the monicker 'Jock the cock', gave his girl crush a day off for her birthday, but made me work during my undergraduate exam period. He also took me to task for picking a bottle from a shelf and cutting myself...because yes, it was entirely my fault someone had left a cracked bottle on display. Sigh.

99. What is your greatest weakness? I think I can be far too analytical and over-sensitive...it's a bad quality that I'm a bit ashamed of.

100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees? Blue.