[Consensus]

I'd just like to say, atownesq, that your post doesn't make you sound like a horrible person. the more I think about such things the more I suspect you may have wisdom.

Personally, I might be tempted to hint things to your gf but, as you say, that is likely to upset many apple-carts with no real goal gained apart from complete honesty. I believe Depeche Mode had things to say about that in Policy of Truth and they may well have been speaking about this very issue.

All of which is to say, I don't think you are a horrible person, rather a potentially wise one who has maximised happiness for those around you. I don't know what that says about me, but I hope it reassures you.