[Honesteyes]

1. What's your bday?
It's... in summer *avoids specific answer*

2. How many children do you want to have?
Children?! pfft they cost on average £200,000 per child from 0-18. I'd rather have a closet full of shoes!! or, you know, the gender-role conforming male version... cars >.>

3. What would their names be? (First and Middle)
Christian Louboutin and Mercedes Benz.

4. At what age would you like to have these kids?
As soon as possible!

5. Any pets?
No, dog just got put down

6. If yes, what kind?


7. What is your dream vehicle?
Umm.... hot pink lamborghini! it would be FABULOUS!

8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there?
Newwww Yorrrkk. I would eat hotdogs, go to a baseball game and get drunk.

9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why?
My foot in it. Bitch.

10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why?
My GHDs!!! Can't live without those suckers!! ooh and definitely conditioner too. Hair spray. Hair bleach to keep it blonde, and of course toner to keep it platinum blonde.. huh, i ran out of items on just hair stuff? :S

11. Describe your perfect date?
Exploring an unexplored tomb (like in the sims 3 world adventures!)

12. What is your darkest fantasy?
A world without light bulbs, BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose?
Natural hair colour, eye colour and i'd be a musical prodigy.

14. Describe your perfect man or woman.
Robert Pattinson.

15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth?
Do it. Just give yourself an enema with disinfectant first >.>

16. Have you ever given a rimjob?
Have you ever let a crazy gay guy give you a disinfectant enema?!

If you have you're stupid.

17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation?
No, it would be considered making the world a better place. Ahahaha ooooh controversial...

18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality?
No.

19. If yes what animal?

20. If no, but were forced to, what animal?
Lamprey! Who doesnt love a prehistoric condom with teeth around their junk...

21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose?
The second one. But then i have a bit of a crush on my best friend :3

22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen?
To fund a project designed to work out why there's a dollar sign in front of it if it's in yen >.>

23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do?
I was born before my time, so i'd throw myself into a future where Meels are socially acceptable ^_^

24. Do you like chocolate?
What's next, is Robert Pattinson a sex god? DUH!

25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft?
Because the company started small, but by the time it got big enough to deserve a name like 'Macrosoft' there was already too much goodwill attached to 'microsoft' to give it up.

26. What's your dream life?
The life of the penis fish! Causing incomprehensible levels of pain and swimming up a guy's urethra, I live for that shit.

27. What scares you the most and why?
old age. It's just scary.

28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world?
Sunsets, Storms and Beyoncé!

Yes, I am aware the question said 'natural world' >.>

29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why?
Penis. Duh.

30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change?
Because strippers charge for the show, not the goods

31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food? nope.
32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges?
33. If so, which ones?

34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally? Physically - stop masturbating for a week when I inflamed my prostate from it >.> Emotionally - Come out to my mother.

35. What are your two biggest regrets?
I regret regretting nothing.

36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different?
Have sex with it instead of having a conversation with it

37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family?
Hard to say.

38. Who's the worst?
Annoying, 10 year old nephew who wont leave me alone ><

39. What are you most jealous of?
People with riches and bitches, moneys and honeys.

40. Are you OCD about anything?
I have this weird thing that the cup/glass i drink from has to be spotlessly clean >.< ... of course, when im drunk that goes away.

41. What would you do if your best friend died?
Feel nothing, find a new friend. I bottle stuff up a lot.

42. Do you have crash courses for pilots?
Ummm.... I don't.

43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be?
Washing i kid, umm dunno really. *shrug*

44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be?
She knows who she is. It's about time that bitch got phased out.

45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know?
Oooh the relocation thing! that sounds like so much fun, id do that now if i could.

46. What size is your bed?
single

47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down?
Because why would you ever nail up a coffin.

48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose?
cheese. But then what about oral sex involving 'cheese'? >.>

49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want?
Infinite wishes.

50. What is more important - lust or love?
Lust, it drives far more of the world's industries than this 'love' nonsense.

51. Define marriage in a sentence.
Like an American car - rocky, bumpy, and not built to last more than five years.

52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count?
The stars. Inside every sheep is the heart and soul of an artist.

53. Does size matter?
Definitely! You either want it really big so you can take it for the ride of your life, or really small to enhance any sexual humiliation you inflict. Averages are meh.

54. Do you have any STDs?
Herpes. On my mouth.

55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill?
The secret tentacle growing out of my knee that i use to t-rape guys.

56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability?
Pillow talk afterwards. Awkward turtle.

57. What’s your favorite position?
Anything involving rope suspension bondage and whipped cream.

58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free?
Your face.

59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.)
The knifed orifice. It's a killer.

60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex?
Australia

61. How often do you masturbate?
2-7 a day

62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Yes

63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating?
one week.

64. Have you ever made a self-porn?
Who hasnt

65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex?
See above

66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for?
A bloooooooow jobbbb

67. Did you get it?
What do you think? ^^

68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it?
Sure, criminals are hott.

69. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
You.

70. Have you ever worked on a farm?
Ha. Me on a farm? Really?

71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say?
Shit I'm hallucinating a real god, i better check myself into a mental institute.

72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be?
I'd go back and have sex with it.

73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower?
Silence is golden. Like my showers >: P

74. How often have you driven over the speed limit? N/A
75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone?

76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do?
Go into a clothes store and try on all the really ugly, ridiculous outfits ^^

77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why?
Monty Burns. Old, Ill and Loaded.

78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger?
Getting lost.

79. What is the one thing that disgusts you?
scatty scat scat scat

80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell?
well it would be whatever speed that type of particle diffuses at *shrug*

81. What was your nickname in high school?
dont ask.

82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why?
Memoirs of a Geisha... im secretly a Japanese prostitute >.>

83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life?
my parents having sex nine months before i was born? It created it.

84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race?
Love its kinkiness, hate its restrictive laws about nudity.

85. When did you first travel by airplane and where?
dont remember

86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning?
three guesses.

87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity?
australia

88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance?
you pay for the pizza.

89. Do you think you are selfish?
the whole world is selfish.

90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom?
I dunno. I should start doing this to find out.

91. What is your favorite drink?
mojito!

92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now?
Refrigeration

93. What is the last book you read?
hmmmm... huntress.

94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States?
By my understanding of the word 'gas', none.

95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want?
to have sex with those aliens. They can pick the 'position' : D

96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
Gay and horny.

97. How would you describe yourself in three words?
hahaha i believe i just answered this above...

98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had.
Hugo, telling me i couldnt afford that sexy suit of his! : (

99. What is your greatest weakness?
My tendency to reveal my greatest weakness on a survey anyone can read >.>

100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees?
Well temperature is a measure of the heat energy a particle has, so to half the temperature you'd have to half the heat energy...

and since a particle has no heat energy at absolute zero, a particle at zero degrees celsius contains 273.15 degrees of heat energy. Therefore, it will be twice as cold when it has 136.575 degrees of heat energy, at -136.575 degrees celsius. I think?