Chapter 8
I was back in the bed, fully restrained. The feeding bag had been hooked up to my gag again, but thankfully, they'd both been removed after I'd finished. No drugs this time. The nurse had left me alone after a pat on the cheek and closed the door behind her.
I was trying to process all that had happened this morning. The mess hall, with all the women there, eating the same filth day after day. Except for the good girls. Would I ever be good enough? I didn't have high hopes. I couldn't stand the injustice of it all. I didn't want to conform to horribly outdated values, there was nothing wrong with me, nothing that needed fixing. But I knew that I had to at least try to pretend that I was good, if I didn't want to end up a level Zero. I didn't know what that would entail, but neither did I want to find out.
Then the Matron’s office; the correctional unit. The shock had been very painful. It would certainly hold me back from touching myself. I couldn't even try to remove it, because I would get shocked all the same. It was devious, sadistic. I guessed they loved the power it gave them. They could even monitor excitement levels, I wondered how they'd use that knowledge. I really had to get out of here! But I would have to go about it very very carefully.
I sighed. Stuck in the bed, left to my own thoughts with nothing else to do, I was becoming more and more restless and frustrated. Not tired at all. I haven't done a nap since I was 3 years old damnit. This treatment was making me angry. And I had to pee. I didn't know how much longer I would be stuck here and I doubted I could control my bladder for much longer. “Shit” I muttered under my breath. “Fuck this place!” A little louder. I was getting mad now. “Come back here and let me go you stupid fat co…” I stopped mid-sentence as the door swung open. Nurse Agatha stood there, hands on hips. She tutted and walked over to a cupboard next to my bed. She held up a new sort of gag. This one was black and obscenely phallic, with a little balloon attached to the outside. “Naughty girls need to learn when to shut up. Open wide.” She pushed the rubber against my mouth, but I kept it shut tightly. She sighed and, with exaggerated patience, she said “do you realise I could have just as easily given you a shock? You can be glad I'm letting you off so lightly but I won't warn you a second time. Now OPEN UP!”
I decided it would probably be wise to obey, so I opened my mouth. It was immediately filled by the gag. The cock-shaped part went into my mouth, and a leather panel covered my lips.
Nurse Agatha buckled the straps tightly behind my head and grabbed the balloon. With a smirk, she started to pump it. Inside my mouth, I felt the gag expand. My eyes watered as it touched the back of my throat. “Good,” she said, satisfied with the result. I was panicking a little. If I moved my head ever so slightly, the cock would set off my gag reflex. Not enough to make me throw up, but enough to make it very uncomfortable. I looked at the nurse with pleading eyes. If she could deflate it just a little… But the bitch was clearly enjoying herself now. She turned back toward the door and told me “enjoy the rest of your nap dear.”
I tried to lay very still while feeling around for the balloon. If I could reach it, maybe I could at least deflate it. I did have some wriggle room, but I couldn't lift my hands up high enough. I tried to look down, but instantly regretted it. I quickly lay back on the pillow and attempted to relax.
I felt defeated and in the end, I also gave up on trying to hold my bladder. It had started to hurt and now I sighed as I let go. I was utterly humiliating to be peeing my pants as an adult woman, but at least the pain was gone. At first, it wasn't so bad. I felt the wet warmth spreading around my buttocks and the relief was nice. But then I realised what I had done. The pee was starting to get cold and the training pants felt wet and soggy. I didn't know how long I would have to stay in them until they'd clean me up. They would surely ridicule me again for not being able to control myself, use it as an extra reason to justify my incarceration.
“Fuck it, I really need to get out of here,” I thought as, despite myself, I slowly nodded off.