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SubMissChievous · 05-17-2010, 07:47 PM

Another excellent post Dutch! And, yes, I've already added to Threads of Notes

There,s not a whole lot for me to add since I agree with all here only adding a couple little things

You are right that when things don't feel right in a relationship it can be very hard not only to find the courage to end it but even looking at what's going on in a completely rational way. And too often we tend to blame ourselves or feel guilty about it.

Of course a relationship gone wrong especially if it involves abuse is the worst case scenario. Sometimes other things can happen that can make yourself feel alone, confused or helpless. For example, your partner has «vanished» without reasons or dumped you... even ending a relationship on relatively good terms can be tough to oevercome. That's why I so often insist on how helpful it is to network and make friends, etc. And in the case of the end of a relationship, especially if anything bad happened, you may probably not want to isolate yourself. Of course, some «me time» is not a bad idea but you also want to have a few people that you know you can reach if you need it.

Writing, journaling can also be a great way to let go emotions and built up frustrations. Especially if one is afraid of telling anyone what happened to them as you have the safety of it being anonymous and just for yourself.

Aside from that I guess one's best ally is time. As the old adage says, time heals all wounds. Sometimes it takes more time than others and, yes, there may be some scars left that never completely disappears.

I wish I could have a lot of better advices and, yeah, I too have been in a really bad abusive relationship in the past... Unfortunately, this seem to happen more frequently than it should... Best way I found was to use these experiences to acquire more knowledge. Both about this kind of relationships and about myself and what I wanted out of them.

So don't be afraid to reach out and talk with people, ask for advice or just vent

And pamper yourself and take your time, especially before entering another relationship.

05-17-2010, 07:47 PM	#7
SubMissChievous Prodigy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 4,466	Another excellent post Dutch! And, yes, I've already added to Threads of Notes There,s not a whole lot for me to add since I agree with all here only adding a couple little things You are right that when things don't feel right in a relationship it can be very hard not only to find the courage to end it but even looking at what's going on in a completely rational way. And too often we tend to blame ourselves or feel guilty about it. Of course a relationship gone wrong especially if it involves abuse is the worst case scenario. Sometimes other things can happen that can make yourself feel alone, confused or helpless. For example, your partner has «vanished» without reasons or dumped you... even ending a relationship on relatively good terms can be tough to oevercome. That's why I so often insist on how helpful it is to network and make friends, etc. And in the case of the end of a relationship, especially if anything bad happened, you may probably not want to isolate yourself. Of course, some «me time» is not a bad idea but you also want to have a few people that you know you can reach if you need it. Writing, journaling can also be a great way to let go emotions and built up frustrations. Especially if one is afraid of telling anyone what happened to them as you have the safety of it being anonymous and just for yourself. Aside from that I guess one's best ally is time. As the old adage says, time heals all wounds. Sometimes it takes more time than others and, yes, there may be some scars left that never completely disappears. I wish I could have a lot of better advices and, yeah, I too have been in a really bad abusive relationship in the past... Unfortunately, this seem to happen more frequently than it should... Best way I found was to use these experiences to acquire more knowledge. Both about this kind of relationships and about myself and what I wanted out of them. So don't be afraid to reach out and talk with people, ask for advice or just vent And pamper yourself and take your time, especially before entering another relationship.