[Leopard]

Originally Posted by AppleEden

Wow... so, to me this proves that getdare is not an inclusive place, but in truth really is quite exclusive to anyone who isn't cis gender.

No, it really doesn't. There are tens of thousands of members, thousands of posts every day ... but you think that one post defines the entire site?

Originally Posted by AppleEden

Saying that since trans people are a minority means that they ought to just go along with the majority is exactly the problem that Princess Tally is trying to bring up. That kind of notion is really oppressive to anyone who isn't cisgendered.

I'm sorry that you hate democracy, but that's how it works. Anyone can raise an issue, but it's the majority that votes on what society wants as a whole. If 99% of people think girl and boy refers to traditional genders, that's what the words mean. It doesn't matter if you think girl means flowerpot when everyone uses it for another specific meaning.

That is not oppression. There is a massive difference between non-cisgendered people becoming accepted (which itself is still in its infancy in society) and expecting every other person to change their definitions of all their words just to make a few people of a minority happy. It's completely unrealistic and self serving.

Accusing a "for girls" thread of being excluding is utter rubbish. Any member is entitled to make threads looking for replies from the groups they want replies from. They don't need to include you or me or anyone else specifically. You can't go around telling people who they want to talk to. Now, if they say "no trans allowed on this forum get out" then that is absolutely wrong and no one should ever put up with that. But that is not what is happening here.

Originally Posted by AppleEden

I think it's fair to be offended by terms "sissy" and especially "tranny", and those words DO have significance. Words are never just "words", they can hurt and they are powerful. However it's really complex on this site because of the whole kink and humiliation aspect. Unfortunately, if we find the sensation of being humiliated a turn-on, what is humiliating has been engrained in us from society. For men, often being considered feminine is unfortunately degrading, and I've realized through talking to people here that it often doesn't mean that they think women(/the feminine) are lesser than men(/the masculine), it really is just this engrained thing that they use to bring about the sensation of being humiliated. There's a part of me that's peeved that this is so (particularly as a very feminine woman), however as long as no one is degrading me for being a woman, I let it be. Also, I find the words "slut" and "bitch" very offensive, yet it's engrained in me that they are humiliating or dirty things to be, so I liked being called them in a sexual context. However, it's consensual (often pre-negotiated) name-calling, and if things get out of hand, everything stops. Also, the fact that these words bring about the humiliated feeling proves how powerful they are. Words evoke feeling (heck, being name-called in bed could even be a word-kink!).

You can be offended by whatever you want; it doesn't actually need to mean anything to anyone else. That said I've never seen tranny being used in an offensive way on this site, and a trans person has no claim to sissy anyway. You can complain about sissy referring to women as weak all you like, but good luck reverting several thousand years of human society. Neither you or I are going to change that. You'd have to change basic education and what families tell their children, as well as stop religious brain washing in children. These things are very deeply ingrained in society long before people come to this website.

Then again you say that other words offend you but you enjoy them in play, so you kind of argued away your own point there. Words are just words: they change over time and have different meanings attached to them by different groups of people over time. You can say a word is offensive to you, and I can say a word isn't offensive to me. You can't claim one or the other is more entitled.

Originally Posted by AppleEden

I think what Princess Tally is pointing out is a legitimate problem. If it's so important that the truths have such a heavy sexual/genital relation than maybe they should be labeled "for penis-people" or "for-vagina people"? But even then that would be awkward for anyone transitioning. It's really tough stuff she's bringing up.

I replied to this above, but absolutely not. There is no reason whatsoever that anyone making a thread needs to cater to any specific person. If I write a story about two gay men, or two gay women, there is no reason at all that I have to change it to be a coloured transsexual and a chair just because it's what you want.

Originally Posted by AppleEden

These are really tough issues that should be addressed, but can't be solved easily. I think the only way we can even make a slight bit of progress on them is by listening to anyone who is transgendered and NOT delegitimizing their experiences. This also involves recognizing that if you are not transgender you will never be able to know what it's like to be transgender or fathom the problems/trials they have to go through.

They certainly are tough issues, but dramatising it by claiming you are offended by everyone else and accusing them of gender hate for using the two generally accepted gender labels and demanding everyone change their threads to include everyone in one big happy family is absolutely not the way to do it, nor do you need to turn it into the heartfelt drama you're attempting to while ignoring the unfair things the person is saying simply because they are claiming to be offended.

I'm not sure why you're so determined to demand that anyone who isn't specifically dealing with the same issue is not allowed to speak on it. That's awfully exclusive. You're saying that one small group is allowed to demand how everyone else behaves (including in activities that have nothing to do with that group) but that no one else can say a word about it.