[DoingMyBest]

See, that's the thing - as I've discussed with you, I have never allowed myself to fully immerse into a regression. Today, I basically just went "Well, nobody's going to look after you. You're doing work as well, so just get practical.". I basically switched everything off and autopiloted through the medical care, then spoke to lilone about it and carried on as before.

I don't like doing that. The off-switch. It's not good and it's not healthy. But discussing that'll derail this thread and it's not my intention. But I understand that duel role aspect. I don't even know what's happening in my head right now - trying to grasp the thought, type a couple of words and it's gone... But still trying to explain.

Ultimately, I'm not a caregiver for myself, I guess. I will always take care of others - even from a regressional state without stepping out of it. But taking care of myself isn't something I do. as can be seen by the fact there're actually 5 gD members who sporadically tell me to go and have a drink of water...

But bribing myself and tucking myself in and giving myself those comforts (the few I have, which are also usually sporadic - read, sweets when I sometimes leave the house and buy some and if they last the journey etc)... Just... I feel like there's a combination of a carer and a caregiver needed, in person sometimes...

I'm just waffling without being cohesive now, so probably best to just ignore the above, but it's there now...

And I often just want the world to go away. I've gone my longest stretch of letting it in now (over the last 6 years) - so far, I'm at about 5 weeks, I think...