1. What's your bday? April 25
2. How many children do you want to have? Zero
3. What would their names be? (First and Middle) If I had to pick one name, it would be Sebastian
4. At what age would you like to have these kids? Never
5. Any pets? Not currently
6. If yes, what kind? I'm a dog person.
7. What is your dream vehicle? Hmm, currently? An F-150.
8. If you could go to any place in the world for a week, where would you go and what would you do there? New Zealand. I'd spend the whole week barefoot, touring the island and its beauty.
9. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? Eyes... they're just pretty.
10. You're sentenced to spend one year on an island, completely alone. You may bring 5 items. Food and water and 2 sets of clothes will be provided. You may not bring ANYTHING that would allow contact with the outside world, this includes any signaling devices, attempting to contact the outside world and you will be shot immediately. What 5 items would you bring and why? Um... I suppose, my Aneros, a computer with lots of video games and porn, a solar charger for said computer, a solar-powered dune buggy ('cause why not?), and... huh. Ooh, an ice maker that can also run off of the solar charger.
11. Describe your perfect date? Anything but a movie. The idea of a date, is to get to know the person and/or spend meaningful time with a person you know well. I fail to see what you get to know, by sitting in a dark room, sort of near each other, staring at something else.
12. What is your darkest fantasy? You -really- don't want to know...
Spoiler:
You were warned. I would be slowly dissected over a course of days, always aroused and desperate enough to beg for it. Each body part cut off, would be cooked and eaten, shared between myself and the other person, starting with my hands, then my arms, then my feet, legs, pectorals, eyes, balls, penis, and finally my bladder. I would then be killed, and the rest of me eaten by my partner in the fantasy.
13. If you could change 3 things about yourself what would you choose? My spinal cord tumor. My horribly degenerated back. My 200 lbs of extra weight.
14. Describe your perfect man or woman. Uh... the one I'm with. Is he the prettiest? No. Is he rich, famous, unbelievable in bed, etc? No. But he's the one I'm with. And that's perfect enough for me.
15. What's your opinion on ass-to-mouth? If there's actively flecks of shit? I'll politely decline. Otherwise, I'll suck on damn near anything... including giving rimjobs. So why would I mind that?
16. Have you ever given a rimjob? Hah! Nice. Yes, yes I have. It tastes and feels a lot better than you might think.
17. If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide would that be considered as a hostage situation? No.
18. Would you ever involve yourself in beatiality? Yes, and I have.
19. If yes what animal? A beautiful cocker/springer spaniel mix I had a consensual relationship for more than five years as a boy. I miss him... *tear*
20. If no, but were forced to, what animal? Dogs in general are awesome.
21. Given the choice between watching your best friend being forced into a 20 person 24 hour gang bang and being required to witness the entire thing without saying a word to them, or being forced into a week long 50 person one yourself with your best friend participating in it, which would you choose? I'd sacrifice myself to save my friend, and let him and fifty other people rape me mercilessly for a week. Gladly. I'd always rather suffer horribly, than watch someone I care about so much as wince.
22. How would you spend $5.2 million yen? *googles what the hell that's worth...* Right now: $53,575.60. Sadly that wouldn't even get me out of debt... so... probably a new car, new computers for me and my partner, a new wardrobe, and some gastric bypass surgery.
23. If you could time travel to any point in time "when" would you go and what would you do? I would explore forward to any point in time when A: my medical problems can be techno-magically erased, and B: humanity has awakened to the fact that shoes are the most absurd mass-hysteria in the history of forever, and don't obsess over other people wearing them anymore. Then I'd find a place to live, and stay.
24. Do you like chocolate? Yes, but not as much as most people. I"ll always go for a fruit-based dessert over chocolate, or gummy worms over a candy bar.
25. If Microsoft is big then why isn’t it called Macrosoft? Because they make software... for... get this: Microcomputers. *shakes head in wonder*
26. What's your dream life? One where I'm not in constant pain, and am never harassed for going barefoot. All else is negotiable.
27. What scares you the most and why? Not much, really... the worst I'd be willing to continue to live through, has already come to pass, and decided to settle down and hang out with me for the rest of my life, so... I don't see what I have to be scared of, except maybe... tomorrow? *shrugs* Wow, that was depressing.
28. Name 3 things you find most beautiful about the natural world? Trees! Grass. Space.
29. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why? Feet! They're beautiful, well-designed, fun to lick and suck on, very erotic, have tons of nerve endings, heal very quickly... I just wish the other 99.9999% of humans would figure out most of that, and not force me to wear shoes...
30. If doctors get to see you naked anyway then why do they leave the room while you change? Because our society is very, very strange. I'd prefer it if they just stayed, and had me remove items as needed, or even removed them themselves.
31. Have you ever seen Man vs Food? Nope.
32. If so, have you ever thought you could do any of the challenges?
33. If so, which ones?
34. What's the most difficult thing you've ever had to do? Physically? and Emotionally? Continue to live every day.
35. What are your two biggest regrets? I changed majors from Aerospace Engineering to HR Management in college, and... hmm... actually that'll about do it.
36. If you had the chance to go change them, what would you do different? I wouldn't change majors.
37. Who's the best person in your immediate or extended family? That's awfully subjective. How do you define 'best'? I guess the point is how I do, so... eh. My sister, I guess?
38. Who's the worst? Probably my dad's mom. She's a nice enough person, but she's so far gone to Alzheimers she just sits in her wheelchair in a pool of her own piss and shit, and scratches bleeding sores into her face, while rocking back and forth and grunting. That's a pretty fail person right there. If only we treated our suffering, terminally ill family members as compassionately as we treat our suffering, terminally ill pets...
39. What are you most jealous of? People with bodies that don't completely and utterly suck.
40. Are you OCD about anything? Not really.
41. What would you do if your best friend died? Well, my best friend is my partner. If he died? Honestly? I'd probably kill myself.
42. Do you have crash courses for pilots? Um... whut? Do I (me) have (possess) crash courses (very fast classes designed to teach the basics of a skill in a short period of time)... for... pilots? (people who fly airplanes). Care to put your brain back in and try that one again? I guess... to the best of my ability to determine what you were trying to ask... yes? I could teach someone the basics of flying an airplane reasonably quickly, if I had to. Enough to get them off the ground, to where they need to go, and then make an emergency crash landing. An actual landing? Not a chance. I don't have that crash course, sorry... *scratches head and smirks*
43. If you had to give up one habit, what would it be? Eating too much, not healthy-enough food. Believe me, I've tried. It's stronger than me.
44. If you had to give up communication and sever all ties to one close friend who would it be? Well gee, I'd rather not say, because if he saw this here, that would accomplish that quite nicely, wouldn't it? I have one in mind. I'm not telling.
45. Would you rather live in complete isolation from all of society except through phone calls and email…or…get complete amnesia, relocated to a different country (with the same language) and be left with no recollection of your entire past including all people you know? Um... I'd just kill myself. I was thinking of the first one, but then I realized that my boyfriend is part of society. So yeah. I pick Option C.
46. What size is your bed? Queen
47. Why is the lid of a coffin nailed down? Uh... I'm -fairly- certain that they aren't. Not unless you're literally buried in a pine crate. If however I'm wrong, um... superstition?
48. If you had to give up either cheese in all forms or oral sex in all forms which would you choose? Wow. Well. Um... I guess... huh. Cheese? But I'd be very sad.
49. If you could have any wish granted what would you want? To be healthy.
50. What is more important - lust or love? Love.
51. Define marriage in a sentence. A religious joining between two people, that shouldn't come with any legal ramifications at all, and has nothing to do with anything but whether your church leader wants to perform a ceremony for you.
52. If sheep can’t sleep what do they count? I'm fairly certain sheep are not intelligent enough to understand the concept of discrete integers... so nothing.
53. Does size matter? Yes! But -smaller- is better, not bigger. Even the smallest cock can be a lot of fun to suck on. But if you're a 14" porn star with a girth the size of your arm, good luck finding anyone who'll even try, let alone can actually take even half of it, in any orifice in their entire body.
54. Do you have any STDs? Nope.
55. What’s your most prominent sexual skill? Oral, specifically tongue-to-glans/slit
56. What’s your most lacking area of sexual ability? Deep-throating. I have the Gag Reflex From Hell (tm)
57. What’s your favorite position? Hmm... for fantasy: knees and chest, ass up, feet together, legs spread. For reality: spreadeagled on back.
58. What does the term free gift mean? Aren’t all gifts supposed to be free? It means you've fallen for a marketing scheme.
59. Have you ever invented any sexual acts? (i.e. Lumberjack, Donkey Punch, Houdini, Rodeo, Landshark, etc.) Um... no? Humans have been around for what, 50,000 years? I'm almost completely certain, that it's all been done, long ago. Though I suppose electric sounding, and vibrator-based sex is fairly new. I doubt anyone on here invented either of those though.
60. Where’s the wildest place you’ve had sex? In the parking lot in front of my apartment, between my boyfriend's parked car, and an SUV next to it, at dawn. I was completely naked, no clothes in reach, on my knees, blowing him.
61. How often do you masturbate? Depends... when my penis is in a good mood, maybe once a day. Normal mood, maybe three times a week. Bad mood? I've gone as much as six months without, just because it never occurred to my libido to wake up.
62. If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? Feathers don't tickle people. People tickle people. :P
63. What’s the longest you’ve gone without masturbating? Er... I'd say... something like 11 years. From birth, until I was 11 years old.
64. Have you ever made a self-porn? Yes!
65. Have you ever taken pictures masturbating or having sex? Yes, I have.
66. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever applied for? Garbage dump scale operator.
67. Did you get it? Nope.
68. If offered $10K to be a stripper at a federal penitentiary for one full night would you take it? Yes. It'll never happen, but yes.
69. What’s your biggest pet peeve? Being harassed for being barefoot.
70. Have you ever worked on a farm? Nope.
71. If while talking to God he sneezes then what do you say? Um, if I were talking to god, and he sneezed, that would mean he was also talking back, and... I'd probably say something like, "Phhhhhbbbbt", because i'd be officially insane.
72. If you could go back and change something about your high school days what would it be? I would have punched my best friend in the face when he started suggesting that we go to McDonalds for breakfast, and Taco Bell for dinner and a late night snack, every single fucking day, for three years, adding approximately 150 pounds onto my weight just in time to start college...
73. Do you sing while having a bath or shower? Yep!
74. How often have you driven over the speed limit? Eh... I'm pretty good about it. I'd say, accounting for the 3 MPH discrepancy built into all speedometers, I speed maybe 10% of the time. But how often? Probably just about daily.
75. What’s the highest over you’ve gone? Well, one time, when I was rushing a friend to the hospital in my mid-engine, two-seater sports car, I hit 175 in a 55 on the highway. So... 120?
76. If you think no one is looking what is the one thing you would do? Pick my nose. For anything more exotic than that, I need to -know- no one is looking, not just think it.
77. If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why? I... have no idea. Link? Because he's a sexy elf? And features in a lot of yaoi?
78. What did you most get into trouble for when you were younger? Playing video games.
79. What is the one thing that disgusts you? Vomit. I hate throwing up, and if I see someone else puking, or see vomit on something, I'll almost always add to it, and continue to do so, until I run away, or someone else cleans it up. Just talking about it now is making me queasy...
80. If you have the speed of light and sound then can you find the speed of smell? No. The speed of light and sound are wave propagation. The speed of smell is actual particle propagation within a medium, which is random, and not calculable in advance, only in hindsight.
81. What was your nickname in high school? "Fat Man"
82. Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why? "Bad Luck". Because most of what's wrong in my life is wrong because of sheer, random, shitty-ass luck, beginning with the tumor in my spinal cord when I was born, and going from there.
83. Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life? My spinal cord tumor, by far.
84. What do you love and hate the most about the human race? Our capacity for mass self-delusions so strong, we believe we should be able to force our deluded ways on others against their will.
85. When did you first travel by airplane and where? Uh... I was too young to remember it fully. Probably from Nebraska to Utah, to visit grandparents.
86. What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning? Open my eyes. Then pee. Then I play it by ear from there.
87. Which one country would you want relocate to if you had the opportunity? New Zealand.
88. How come you get the pizza faster than an ambulance? I don't. But if I did, probably because the nearest hospital is about 8 minutes away, and the nearest pizza delivery restaurant (a Dominos) is about 48 seconds away? Seems like a good excuse to me...
89. Do you think you are selfish? Yes. But I damn well earned it.
90. If people point to their wrist while asking for the time then why don't they just point to their crotch while asking for the location of the bathroom? That's a good question. They totally should!
91. What is your favorite drink? Grape juice.
92. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? Heh... not a whole lot. About a cup of milk that's about to go bad, a little shredded cheese, two slices of American cheese, some Pur filtered water, a few yogurts, and condiments. Lots of condiments. Though no Sour Cream or Cholula Sauce.
93. What is the last book you read? Charons Claw (Book III of The Neverwinter Saga: The Legend of Drizzt series, by R.A. Salvatore. Working on Book IV now.)
94. How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States? Hmm... I'd say something in the range of 20,000. *googles* Holy shit! 121,000!? Damn... that's a whole lot.
95. If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want? Wait what? I think your brain fell out again. So... they want to take me away from this ridiculous piece of shit society, to live on a more advanced world, with any position I want (how about figurehead monarch?), -and- give me anything I want? Nice aliens! I'll take everything, then. *shakes head and smirks* Silly question.
96. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? "Don't Read This Book" Subtitled, "It'll depress the shit out of you..."
97. How would you describe yourself in three words? Fat, Wasted Potential
98. Tell me about the worst boss you ever had. A guy named Reever, who chewed on his dentures like they were bubble gum, spinning them around vertically in his mouth non-stop WHILE TALKING, and making me do physical labor that they knew I couldn't do safely, when they hired me, and then fired me when it resulted in too many legitimate, doctor's note-excused sick days, because they fucked up my back.
99. What is your greatest weakness? My pain.
100. What is the temperature when it's twice as cold as zero degrees? Not enough info: Please define a frame of reference Re: measurement units.
If I do it: Kelvins, in which case, 0 Kelvins.
Why I just spent like, two hours of my life on this, I'll never know...