NEED HELP- Blackmail/Findom with friend (online)
 

Hey everyone! I've been away from kink for a while and want to dive back in. A friend of mine is considering blackmailing me to help push me into tasks. So, I'm coming to you all in hopes of recommendations on working out the details!

We need some help coming up with the structure and rules and I feel like everyone here could really help out. We need ideas for:

Frequency of payment for blackmailing me

Amount of money (USD) to be paid each time

Initial pictures for blackmail material (non public, but please use my likes or dislikes.

Personal info my friend can use against me and how it is revealed throughout game. (Over time, punishment, on failed task or payment)

Length of blackmail or buyout amount

Punishments for failing tasks (picture exposure)

Possibly amount of money to buy out of a task once or rules for a day (relatively high to make it a bad option)

Punishment if I fail to pay (anything goes here)

Any other ideas you lovely, sadistic people can come up with.

To clarify, this is someone I can trust with my pictures and I trust to follow the rules we set out.

Thank you in advance for any help!!

Finances with friends are complicated at the best of times and findom can bring a whole world of mess with it.
How about any payments are made into a kitty that will be spent on you? Your friend can invest it in new toys and clothes to punish/tease/torture you.

I agree with @Wimble that findom can get messy really quick.

I think a rule should be that you have to call him Sir or master while being blackmailed.

He can pick out a uniform and that is what you must wear when you are around him.

I think a picture idea should be you only in a diaper on your knees sucking a dildo.

So much of this makes me deeply uncomfortable...

First up, if the other person is unsure on what to do DO NOT enter a blackmail relationship with them! Even less a financial one!
There are so many potential pitfalls with blackmail that entering with someone who has any doubts or gaps in knowledge will only cause problems, in a scenario where you are completely at risk. It's just a real bad idea.

Do not confuse Findom with Blackmail, they are two separate kinks! Yes they can link well but if you are doing this "to help push me into tasks" then money has nothing to do with it. Put that completely to one side!
You could agree to put X amount to one side for buying toys and clothes but totally separate.
What you want is motivation to complete tasks and push yourself. You want more of an Exposure Threat set-up (the embarassing pictures + info with permission to be posted if you fail. If you feel that is not enough to push you, make the pictures worse, make the info worse. Give up login details to your social media or emails or something would be better than paying them.

If this person cannot think up a good number of tasks before hand, if they cannot come up with a strong set of rules, they should not be blackmailing you. This is at the extreme end of BDSM and you have to do it with someone that knows exactly what they are doing with BDSM in a normal situation.
Otherwise mistakes will be made, impossible tasks given, rules that are unsafe to follow, or that they just don't give you anything to do but claim the money. You need to know this person is an experienced and capable Dom in a normal case, who can be that Dom for months with zero issues.

If you get through all that and still want to do it: amount + frequency should be set so that you have enough money left for bills, food and general living but nothing more. Most of that payment should go towards toys + clothes + items for your tasks, not into their pocket.
Pictures are easy. Clear face in everything. Write your name and status on your body. A few naked. A few dressed. A few using toys. Things you cannot deny, that you cannot say are fake.
Info is easy. They are your friend, they already have everything! Name, location, work, contact detasils etc and the same for your friends + family. That's it, that's easy.
Length, i hate time limited blackmail. Because knowing it ends at a set point removes a lot of the challenge. It's easy to lie and delay through to the end and avoid doing anything you didn't want to. So either it has to be years long, or just don't have a set end date.
An exit clause is a good idea. Financial i don't like, especially if you are already paying. Instead agree on a super tough task that breaks a limit! Something you would only do in dire circumstances. Also make clear with the Dom that if your personal situation changes (loss of job, illness etc) that any scenario ends immediately.

And above all, remember consent! If anything goes beyond your consensual agreement it is breaking the law! Stay safe. Stay sane!

Very much what Adidas said. I currently am out of thanks. :)

I'd also like to make sure you educate yourself about blackmail. There are many blog and forum posts about it, just to give you an example.

At least, please make this decision after having masturbated and cum, and not being so fucking horny you lose your mind. Speaking to myself here.

Besides that, don't tell us you haven't been warned. There's more than just sex to life.

I'd also recommend leaving the money out at first unless you made experience with findom. One step after another. Better baby steps than fall off a cliff. :)

Have you played with that partner before? What does your trust in him rely on?

Keep the Blackmail material and payment if you go for it, as light as possible. If he is blackmailing you for the fun of it, money shouldn't be an issue, just a small turn on, and then small amounts are sufficient.

So I'd suggest, only pics and infos which don't ruin your life when revealed. Imagine it would happen for sure. You should survive it in all ways.
It may material you don't want to be published and spread, and infos used, but make sure the consequence of that risk are survivable. Because that's what a risk is: a possible outcome!

About the money: how about a dollar per day? Paid daily.
Blackmail period: one week, should be sufficient to test. You can start a new blackmail if you both are satisfied.
Punishment for failing task: whatever he comes up with. As I said, and you can read it up, the blackmail material might and should be something you don't want to spread but which you'll survive to be spread around. The internet doesn't forget! And so doesn't the world regarding revealed information.


You should play blackmail with people interested in being the blackmailer for the fun of it, including the responsibility to make it fun and play, and make sure you both are alright. Ask your trusted partner for ideas, wishes, and expectations. :)

Financial blackmail is not allowed on getDare and so I am doing to close this thread. Because there is a lot of good information here, I am going to keep it instead of deleting it but I am going to move it to the kink and education section.

Also ... here is a blog on how I did blackmail with my slave.

https://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=85543