Serious question: A sub feeling worthless/mental health toll
 

I’ve been through a few masters, and I always turn back because I think I know what I want at the time, but after going through with it I always end up feeling my self worth shatter and going into a depressive state
I do struggle with mental health in general, so I guess this must not be good for me, but I can’t help thinking it’s just the other person who’s not good for me and maybe I should keep searching
Maybe I should just leave the entire erotic scene and try to get my sex drive down.

Do any other subs ever feel like this? Or any doms who can understand this? And does anyone have any advice in general?

I struggle with things and every couple of months will hit a very rough, dark patch, where I struggle to cope with things both kinky and none kinky.

Some doms/dommes are understanding of this, more are not, I've found. But, I do have a somewhat consistent domme who is wonderfully understanding and helpful - and that comes from having the trust and friendliness that doesn't always need kink. It isn't a full on relationship, but enough to help when things get bad.

However difficult it is find a master/mistress/dom etc. that is a good fit for you in terms of kink, you do need to consider the fit beyond that - most immediately with aftercare. How much aftercare do you need, and are you getting that? What do you need in your aftercare?

Me too
 

I have a similar experience, a lot of times after serving a dom for a while, I end up in a dark funky mood and I just want to leave the relationship that, sometimes, have taken months to build. I self diagnose myself as also having mental issues but I should probably go for professional help, seriously. Maybe it will help you too to do so.

Anyway, like you, I always find myself looking for a new dom and often hating myself afterwards for doing so.

A few things I've learned about myself:

1) I can never get my sex drive down, therefore...

2) I can never stay away from the kink and erotic scene

3) My expectations though seemingly simple is not realistic. Doms/dommes/masters/mistresses are only human and though they apply aftercare and pre-care and what not, they can only do so much. The real world puts pressures on us all both in and out of the bedroom.

4) I'm bound to eventually be disappointed or be hurt by any and every dom/master I meet in the long run - this is not because there are no great ones out there, there are actually many but I get disappointed and/or hurt because of #3 above.

5) So the solution that works for me (which honestly I keep on forgetting but have to remind myself) is to keep it short and sweet, meaning, I do short task-based servitude and no longer look for a long-term, much less, permanent dom to serve. I also try to fill my time with other activities to help me get my mind off (if even just for a little while) on the sexual fantasies that I latch on to. Which brings me to another realization...

6) I latch into sexual fantasies to the exclusion of almost everything else. An unhealthy habit for sure. That's what I think it is: a habit formed over time, through the years.

7) When I catch myself latching on, I just forgive myself and move on. I've stopped berating myself coz it doesn't do anything good for me.

Realization #5 holds a solution that works for me, this may not work for you or anybody else. This also does not mean that people should not look for long term dom/dommes of their own. It just means that one has to find the right balance for one's self and I think that it is different for each one.

Hope this helps you some.

Sub drop is a real thing, and a common thing, and totally normal.

I drop 80% of the time I play with my Dom. It took me about a year to accept it as normal and okay and that it didn't make me broken or that it meant I didn't want what I was doing before it happened. It's a reaction and it's okay.

It isn't necessarily that what you're doing isn't good for you itself, but that you need proper aftercare to help you through the drop. Communicating with the person you were interacting with, or someone else who understands and can help you through it (but preferably the person you interacted with) is really important, and research will help you maybe identify other ways that you can help you.

I see it's been a while, but I wanted to chime in. It's not uncommon for people to feel this way, and it's important to remember that you're not alone. It's okay to step back and reassess what you want and what's important to you. It may be helpful to seek therapy or counseling to work through these feelings and explore what's going on. I suggest checking out more info at https://restore-mentalhealth.com/out...south-florida/ to choose the right treatment. I hope that helps you!