getDare Truth or Dare - Non-Fiction: My Naked Lockout Dare

I want to be clear: I am not a writer or author of any sorts. Even the papers I wrote in college never earned an A. This is not meant to be a story, but a report of the dare Mousey123 made me do last night. I'm not worried about grammatical feedback, but please let me know what you think of the content.
This is the first half and, if requested, I'll share the 2nd half. Without further ado, here's the craziest dare I've done to date.

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The dare: I had to lock myself out naked and go retrieve my key. The problem was, I had hidden 16 keys (each in a small individual pouch) all around the area. I had hidden 4 keys north of my house, 4 south, for east, and 4 west. Also, I had recut my house key so it looked like the other so I had no idea which one was the right one, forcing me to collect all keys.
Because Mousey123 is extra cruel, 7 of the keys were hidden 1km away and 2 keys were 1.5km away. It was going to be a long night.

It was about 58 degrees F so a pretty warm October night. I had teased and edged myself all evening to make sure I would go through with it. I finally worked up the courage and stepped out my back door NAKED at 12:30am. I had my shoes, my cell phone for a light, and a small cloth bag to carry the keys in. But I stood there for about 5 minutes until I had the courage to shut the door (my doors lock automatically). At that point it hit me: I was screwed.

Chapter 1 - North

I decided to do north first because directly north of my house is a large park (with no streetlights) and a free 9-hole golf course. Figured it would be the easiest one. I hid 4 keys in this direction. They were in the holes on the greens of 6, 7, 8, and 9. This means they were all over 1 km away (the last 1 being 1.6km), and although it would be dark, I would be very exposed with no cover around me when retrieving the key. There are trees on the side of the golf course, but to get there, I had to cross a bike path and a soccer field. WIDE OPEN! The bike path is about 10 feet from my back yard fence, so after waiting and making sure nobody was coming (doubtful this late) I sprinted full speed across that and the soccer field to the golf course!!

It was cloudy so not much moonlight, but I imagined how good my white ass cheeks would have looked in the moonlight. Finally, I reached the golf course. Breathing heavy and unbelievably excited, I started jogging through the course at a pretty fast pace, staying close to the trees. The cold air on my skin, the sound of the cars on the highway, all made me feel so alive!!

I reached the 6 hole in no time, but now was the first risk: I had to walk to the middle of the green where I wouldn't even be close to cover to retrieve the key! Taking a deep breath, I walked away from the treeline and onto the green. Reaching the middle, my hand shaking as I reached down, praying it was still in there. YES!! It was!! After a quick celebration, I realized I still had 15 more to go...

Chapter 2 - East

Retrieving the other 3 keys from the North golf course wasn't any more eventful than the first key, so I won't bore you with the details. I had been out for about 20 minutes now, so I decided to do East next. Reason for this is that I could walk through the park (basically diagonally) where the entrance is on the same street I live on, almost 1km away. So I hid 4 keys:

Key 1: at the park entrance behind the sign
Key 2: across the street from the park entrance behind a tree
Key 3 (1km away): I would have to walk 2 blocks east on this road, I hid it by a stop sign on an intersection
Key 4 (1km away): kiddy corner to key 3

Now this street isn't a busy street, but it's not a quiet street either. Hopefully at 1:00am during the week it would be really quiet. Key 1 was no big deal. It was still in the dark shelter of the park. Key 2 was another matter. I had to cross the street to retrieve it. Now I wasn’t directly under a lamp post, but this street was lit, so I would lose the cover of darkness. After triple checking no cars were coming (and choking on a mountain of fear), I sprinted across the street!! I know that doesn’t sound exciting, but being in the middle of a well lit street butt naked? It’s exhilarating to say the least!

After retrieving key 2 and catching my breath, I had a new predicament: keys 3 and 4. They were 2 blocks east of me (Mousey123, you are a cruel and devious woman!) so I had to sprint down the sidewalk going DIRECTLY under multiple streetlamps!! Also, since key 3 was at an intersection, I wouldn’t be able to see if any cars were coming. The tree I was hiding behind provided little cover, so I figured it best to move fast. I sprinted faster than I ever have down the sidewalk. I wonder what it must have looked like, a naked man under the streetlights running for his life?
Finally, I reached the stop sign and retrieved the key, but noticed headlights in the distance coming for me!! I panicked! My heart froze! I didn’t think, but next thing I knew I was sprinting across the intersection for the final key. This key was also by a stop sign, but there were bushes next to it. I dove over those bushes for cover like Michael Phelps into water!! Panting, tears in my eyes from excitement and fear, I lay down as flat as I could, praying they didn’t see me. The car stopped a the stop sign for about 2 seconds (felt like 2 years) then moved on.

I sat there for 5 or 10 minutes trying to calm down and catch my breath, before checking my phone and realizing it had been almost an hour! And I was naked, 1km from my house, and only halfway done with my dare…