Question about kink effecting life
 

Hi everyone!

I wanted to know some people's experience with kink and their lives. I sometimes feel very nervous/hesitant about my kinks and exploring them due to my fear of it effecting my normal life. I'm studying to be in a field where the opinion of your peers is important, and I fear that if I get too involved (partially why pictures are a limit for me), if things get found out, it could negatively impact my life.

So my questions are: do you ever feel that your kinks hold or have held you back? Do you think they've helped you move forward? Do you have difficulty compartmentalizing your kinky/bdsm life from your vanilla life? If so, why do you think that is? If you find it easy, how do you manage to keep your lives separate and worry free?

Sorry for the long post, but I would really appreciate any honest input from users!

me
 

My kink doesn't interfere with my normal life because my kink is part of who I am and my friends accept me warts and all .

Hmm, that's interesting! That thought never even crossed my mind! But if you're comfortable with your dom and relationship with him, do you think that you could call him Sir and ask permission in public comfortably, despite the stares?

Also, does your kink effect your work/professional life at all? Do you think it potentially could? Sorry, I don't mean to be nosy, it's just these are all concerns I, personally, have that I could use some guidance with based upon how others have experienced these things (or have not in Rhodes64's case).

That's awesome to hear! It's definitely reassuring to hear responses like that where you could enjoy your kinks judgment free!

Thanks for your responses! If anyone else has experience, please feel free to chime in. The more perspectives, the better!

Do you ever feel that your kinks hold or have held you back?
No, I never felt like that. Aspects of myself have held me back in the past but kink has never been one of them.

Do you think they've helped you move forward?
Yes, in some ways. Because they made me think more deeply about things such as communication, standing up for yourself, clear agreements and expectations, etc. Also, knowing I can take more than I might have expected of myself before. I feel that that's helped me in general life, too.

Do you have difficulty compartmentalizing your kinky/bdsm life from your vanilla life? If so, why do you think that is?
Not at all.

If you find it easy, how do you manage to keep your lives separate and worry free?
I don't. Not anymore than I would keep my private business private, anyway. I do not tell people about vanilla sex or masturbation habits, I do not tell people about my past, I wouldn't randomly grope or snog someone in public either so I have no issues holding back anything else that I feel is private or inappropriate in certain contexts. I do not tell people unless they are near and dear to me, in which case they will either accept it or they can piss off anyway. So it's no conscious effort for me. I just don't feel obliged to share, it doesn't weigh on me.

Hi and thank you for this question.

I am not young anymore and can tell, that I had all of my kinks already when I was very young. Perhaps not in this intensity, but they accompanied and influenced me the whole life. I always had problems, when I met a girl that only wanted vanilla sex. Now I found a very kinky, young woman and my sex life is great... if we lived in the same country, but this is another story.
My kinks made me most of my life insecure about myself, and it lasted long, that I finally accepted them as a part of me. If you are alone before internet was invented, it can be hard. My kinks of course affected my life. I have no vanilla life anymore, I am married, but without sex.
Your kinks are stronger than you.

Thank you for sharing your experience! It is encouraging to see kinks being almost cathartic outside of just the actual sexual pleasure, rather than a stressor. Do you ever worry about colleagues finding out about your kinks, and it impacting your work-life?

This is a very interesting experience with kinks. Thank you for sharing! I'm glad that you have accepted them as a part of you. I also really appreciate your honesty with how kinks have maybe not had the most positive impact on your life, as that's something I worry about personally. I like to think that I'm stronger than my kinks, but it is a real concern. Again, thank you for sharing!