What do you mean?

It was a sexy big boobs drawing so I was playfully bluffing and wanted to ease your struggle as always. It could have been a flower, a pile of shit, a naked horny Trump deepfake... anything.

I spent time to make a nice game for you and you refused.
You didn't trust me even if I never tricked you.
You considered the options and took a safe rewards so you failed even as an edging drone that should simply give up any pride and reasoning and take any chance to edge and suffer...

Disappointing...

I’m sorry! I’m genuinely so confused as to what is the right option. I won’t claim the points for avoiding, as a peace offering of sorts.

The fact that you even mention those alternatives scares me. But I do realise you have been nothing but fair so far. And I do value your praise when I do well (or at least do well by my disgusting, pathetic and depraved standards).

I’m sorry again.

There was no right or wrong option and you can take your points, you won them fair and square.

There were two options:

- Ignore the game and take the free points. A smart move since the last game was easy and I bluffed a lot hinting that this time it was harder and with Trump. You decided to optimize your chances and gains and avoided a struggling and punishing failure. A move from a normal confident brain trying to win and improve his self-worth.

- Play the game even if everything looked unfair and humiliating. The choice that only a submissive masochist would have picked, an edge addicted ready to lose even at edging, it's only pleasure and pride. A naked soul throwing itself into self embarassment and public laugh, without a care about his future or the amount of points.

So The disappointment is mainly for myself for expecting you to choose the humiliating option instead of the safe one... and that's why I wanted to ease your pain with a nice pic instead... It looks like it doesn't matter how much me, yourself or anyone else calls you a pathetic, worthless, disgusting waste of space and air... you didn't act like one so deep down you still don't really believe it...

A disappointment even in being a disappointment...

I genuinely feel shame

I’m sorry

I'm also partially to blame for what happened because I didn't praise you enough for your video and victory in the first pic game. Well, I did it by being more honest and mean than usual when I commented... but I should also have praised your decision to make a full video even if it wasn't required. A pure, genuine, spontaneous, selfless act of self humiliation that could make the coldest dom heart happy. That gift was so entertaining and bittersweet and also what I wanted to enjoy and cringe to again in the second game!

So let's forgive each other, forget this little accident and move on ;)

It’s all my fault. I promise. I should have been the obedient submissive. Regardless of whether I got praise.

Hopefully, I can make it up to you in future tasks. I’m trying very hard on your latest censoring task (though it is exceptionally time consuming).

Gamble Game #3 - MindFuck Edition
Decide if you want to play then look at the pic for the first time.

- If you decide NOT to play, +20 LP.
- If you decide to play, edge 3 times at the pic.
Start soft and don't touch yourself for 30 secs between the edges.
If you win, -5 LP.
If you give up, +10 LP.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xzz...ew?usp=sharing

So I get more points for deciding not to play?

Yes! A lot of easy points to free yourself sooner from this dumb, unhealthy and annoying trap you fell into. And you lose points if you win... maybe I messed up the numbers... but what's done is done... lucky you!

I will play…I feel that is the correct decision

There's not a correct decision, there is no right and wrong, good and evil, hot and cold, man and woman, light and dark... there are only the ever-changing faces of madness... and every moment we decide to be blind to the overwhelming total interconnectedness of things so we keep splitting the endless fractal in two so we can distract ourselves with the struggle of choosing inside this fake duality dream world, basing our decisions on the fleeting animal instincts evolved as shields against the fear of the endlessly staring abyss...

Long story short... everything's good! :)

Leland - I think I have made enough progress that I can share the videos for your approval. I have come up with two versions, which will be in your “Tasks for Leland” folder now or very shortly. Please let me know if these meet your standards and which I should use for your task

Ok my bad, I waited until now because I though that the "last update" date of the main folders had to change to today. But I saw them now!

Great job, really! I love how you picked a video with those giant black cocks. They are really wonderful, they make me horny too! We want to suck them so much, right? And they really know how to give pleasure to a woman. Nothing in comparison with your weird crooked dick-finger. So you must really do your edge task to these videos, maybe you will learn a thing or two on how a real cock works! And the censoring is perfect, who needs a distracting woman when there are such giant cocks to serve... you should have been born a woman too so you could be there in her place... right?

I prefer the simple video, not the one split in 4, because you can focus more on those giant high-definition rods and see them bigger and closer. So you will use that for the task. But I want to reward you for the effort so use the split video too: edge to it too 2 times to earn 3 LP!

Thank you Leland. I’m hoping to catch up on your special edging tasks later this week. Assume you would like proof again?

And yes….nothing to tempt me away from giving in and ending to all those superior beautiful cocks.

Last proof was adorable... so yes, I'd like it!

Dear Leland.

I won’t have time to do your most recent gamble task today. But, I have now delivered my censored stroking task into your tasks folder. I’m sorry in advance for how disgusted you may feel watching me edge to totally censored porn. We both know, the reason I edged so quickly was almost definitely due to the sight of all of those superior cocks.

I will complete the most recent gamble task as soon as possible. I am also aware that I am overdue an update on my progress in the past week or so.

Yeah, well, I rushed to prepare that gambling game because it was so fitting with the mood of those days... more than a week ago! Of course there was no time limit and there never will be, it's just embarassing. So desperate and yet so slacking at the same time... So you probably like the feeling of making me chagrin, you sick manipulator...

And your video proof... a pathetic animal fapping his pathetic shame while watching a pathetic video slide show... I didn't know where to focus my gaze, that was so uncomfortable. I agree that only those superior cocks deserve attention, I focused on them too... So thank you. Someone deserves a praise now: thank you big black cocks for appearing in the video and saving me from minutes of torment. You clearly can't have pleasure without embarassing yourself anymore, they are intertwined forever. Do you even need edges when your mind cums from pure shame?

Well done to you too for completing your duty as instructed and putting yourself again in your proper degrading place. At least you know what you are: an honest exhibitionist ugly slut. Not many are so self aware. This really deserves a praise!

Long awaited update
 

First of all, I’m sorry for the time that has passed since my last update. Rest assured, progress and suffering has continued. These updates just take time!

Some good news and bad news (for me). On the good side, I’m now much less likely to be forced to edge to something horrible. The bad news is, this is because Leland has needed to step back from “owning” my suffering. I’m hugely grateful to Leland and, despite being offered a way out (thank you Leland) I will continue with my current task as planned. I guess there is also a vacancy for my owner now!

An update on progress below. I’ve grouped a couple of periods to help make this easier and shorter. In total since my last update, I’ve completed 285 edges and earned 392 points. So just over a year knocked off my denial. Thankfully still no accidents but I have come very close to an accidental ruin. I fear this won’t be unavoidable for long.

Sunday 12 May to Thursday 23 May
Total edges 195. Total points 202

I made some good progress during this time, generally, but also had to spend a lot of time censoring porn for Leland’s task (I had to totally censor all female nudity from some videos with big pixels). While I gained some points back from this, where I didn’t touch myself while completing these censors, I often just couldn’t resist touching which, while allowed, meant I didn’t gain extra points. I did enjoy the task though and, as you may have seen from my earlier post, made sure that the videos still included lots of superior cock for me to instead gaze at, very prominently. I will learn to worship cock. Completing this task gained me an extra 7 bonus points and, in this period, I also completed Leland’s roulette task (gaining another 7 bonus points). These points helped offset some penalties from edging using uncensored porn.

My day by day detail is below, for those interested.

Sunday (12 May) 1 edge (0 points since uncensored).
Monday 60 edges (gained 7 extra points for roulette and 6 for untouched censoring for 2 hours, but lost 3 points for using uncensored porn too).
Tuesday 15 edges (3 point penalty for uncensored but bonus 3 for spending an hour censoring).
Wednesday 12 edges (3 point penalty for uncensored but bonus 3 for spending an hour censoring).
Thursday 8 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Friday 10 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Saturday 0 edges (did double next day.
Sunday 30 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Monday 14 edges. All censored.
Tuesday 10 edges. All censored.
Wednesday 12 edges. All censored.
Thursday 23 edges. All censored. Completed Leland’s task (7 bonus points).

Friday 24 May to Friday 31 May
Total edges 90. Total points 90.

You may have noticed that, towards the end of the last period, I stopped using uncensored porn at all. This partly reflected a self imposed rule that I should do this until I provide a proper update (which I now am) and, in addition, a slight panic I had about just how many points I need to earn (so I can’t afford to waste any). It has, however, had the beneficial effect of meaning I’ve earned back one of my penalty orgasms for the year (since I did a continuous week without any uncensored female nudity). Little mercies. Day by day account below again.

Friday (24 May) 12 edges.
Saturday 6 edges.
Sunday 7 edges.
Monday 1 edges.
Tuesday 12 edges.
Wednesday 10 edges.
Thursday 12 edges.
Friday (31 May) 30 edges.

Not as detailed as my usual updates (sorry). But hopefully keeps you all updated to date. Leland also kindly gave me 100 free points as a parting gift. I thought about refusing these out of respect but, given how desperate I am, I can’t afford to lose these. So I have added these to my total (below) too. There’s still a very long way to go….

As always, any additional tasks and challenges are welcome. Update on my counts etc below.

Counts:
Date of last orgasm: 29 April 2024.
Edges since last orgasm: 597.
Leland Edges: 514.
Leland task credits: 618.
Most edges in one day: 190.
Orgasms during 2024: 8/23 (was 25)
Total 2024 edges: 4,711.

Rules:
1. Stroke 100 times while hard before first pee each day (failing means can’t use this toilet for a day).
2. Time between next orgasm must be longer than between last (or orgasm counts as 2).
3. All cum must be eaten.
4. Must edge (at least) once on Monday, twice Tuesday… If a day is missed then do double the next day (plus the missed edges).
5. Ten seconds of no touch foot porn for each edge.
6. All orgasms to censored porn (or count as 2).
7. All orgasms in February count as double.
8. No cumming during November.

Tasks:
1. Dice game for one orgasm. When I want to cum I must roll a dice and edge that number of times. I then roll a second: if this is lower than the first, edge this number of times and I am denied. If higher, then edge the dice count again and roll a third time: one or two means I ruin (still counts as orgasm); three or more and I can cum freely.
2. Chew worn socks each evening before bed until next orgasm (done).
3. One orgasm while fucking or licking a toilet seat (done).
4. One orgasm while fucking a desert - cake, trifle, eclaires etc. which I then eat up hands free.
5. During my weekend, alone, to spend at least three hours continuously erect with anyone able to check on me (done)
6. Messy task from Post 57.
7. Leland’s task from Post 73 (done).

Ways to earn back forfeited orgasms:
1. Perform 150 edges per day for one week, with at least 2 weeks since last orgasm.
2. Spend a full week (Sunday to Saturday) without looking at any uncensored female nudity or exposed female genitals at all.

More progress, but not even half way
 

A little update on my progress, to avoid leaving it as long this time. Pleasingly, sine my last update, I have completed 156 more edges and gained 138 further points. My day by day summary is below (not including today)…

Saturday (1 June) 73 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Sunday 26 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Monday 6 edges.
Tuesday 4 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Wednesday 28 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Thursday 4 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Friday (7 June) 15 edges (3 point nudity penalty).

So, so far I’ve gained 756 points towards the 1,827 I need for my next orgasm. While I’m quite pleased with my performance so far, I’m not even half way through yet. And while I got off to a good start last week, the edges have become so so tortuous and verging on painful (and very risky going to far). Really want to power on but my maggot is so so sensitive it’s becoming really unbearable.

As always, any additional tasks and challenges are welcome. Update on my counts etc below.

Counts:
Date of last orgasm: 29 April 2024.
Edges since last orgasm: 753.
Leland Edges: 670.
Leland task credits: 756.
Most edges in one day: 190.
Orgasms during 2024: 8/23 (was 25)
Total 2024 edges: 4,867.

Rules:
1. Stroke 100 times while hard before first pee each day (failing means can’t use this toilet for a day).
2. Time between next orgasm must be longer than between last (or orgasm counts as 2).
3. All cum must be eaten.
4. Must edge (at least) once on Monday, twice Tuesday… If a day is missed then do double the next day (plus the missed edges).
5. Ten seconds of no touch foot porn for each edge.
6. All orgasms to censored porn (or count as 2).
7. All orgasms in February count as double.
8. No cumming during November.

Tasks:
1. Dice game for one orgasm. When I want to cum I must roll a dice and edge that number of times. I then roll a second: if this is lower than the first, edge this number of times and I am denied. If higher, then edge the dice count again and roll a third time: one or two means I ruin (still counts as orgasm); three or more and I can cum freely.
2. Chew worn socks each evening before bed until next orgasm (done).
3. One orgasm while fucking or licking a toilet seat (done).
4. One orgasm while fucking a desert - cake, trifle, eclaires etc. which I then eat up hands free.
5. During my weekend, alone, to spend at least three hours continuously erect with anyone able to check on me (done)
6. Messy task from Post 57.
7. Leland’s task from Post 73 (done).

Ways to earn back forfeited orgasms:
1. Perform 150 edges per day for one week, with at least 2 weeks since last orgasm.
2. Spend a full week (Sunday to Saturday) without looking at any uncensored female nudity or exposed female genitals at all.

I’ve just noticed that it’s been more than a month since my task started now. Unfortunately, I still have half the points that I need to earn and already feel like I’ve never been this desperate before. Well, I have made some good progress this week, it feels like the mountain is still ahead of me.

Progress and setback
 

I thought it was an opportune time for my next update on progress. The good news is, I have racked up some reasonable points. But, unfortunately, I also had a setback.

Starting with the good news, in total I have completed 267 edges since my update just over a week ago (not including today). My day by day account is below and, as you will see, I had a few days of very solid edging. After penalties for some uncensored porn, this gave me 249 points. I’ve also gained 20 points for 400 GetDare posts so a total of 269 earned.

Saturday (8 June) 54 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Sunday 18 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Monday 6 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Tuesday 15 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Wednesday 28 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Thursday 82 edges (3 point nudity penalty but 3 point bonus for 10 second hold)
Friday 24 edges (3 point nudity penalty).
Saturday (15 June) 40 edges.

Unfortunately, all of my desperation and frustration has started to catch up with me and, earlier in the week, after I reached the edge, I felt more and more pre cum building which culminated in what was (I think) a ruined orgasm. Lost of flowing cum rather than any spurts of pleasure but far more than my (admittedly torrential)L recent leaking. Under the rules, I believe this adds 6 months into my sentence or an additional 183 points that I must earn to gain my next full orgasm. Unfortunately, despite the leaking, I still feel every bit as desperate.

So while I did make some progress overall, it was almost all for nothing! I’m so so desperate for a proper release!

As always, any additional tasks and challenges are welcome. Update on my counts etc below.

Counts:
Date of last orgasm: 29 April 2024.
Edges since last orgasm: 1,020.
Leland Edges: 937.
Leland task credits: 1,025 / 2,010.
Most edges in one day: 190.
Orgasms during 2024: 8/23 (was 25)
Total 2024 edges: 5,134.

Rules:
1. Stroke 100 times while hard before first pee each day (failing means can’t use this toilet for a day).
2. Time between next orgasm must be longer than between last (or orgasm counts as 2).
3. All cum must be eaten.
4. Must edge (at least) once on Monday, twice Tuesday… If a day is missed then do double the next day (plus the missed edges).
5. Ten seconds of no touch foot porn for each edge.
6. All orgasms to censored porn (or count as 2).
7. All orgasms in February count as double.
8. No cumming during November.

Tasks:
1. Dice game for one orgasm. When I want to cum I must roll a dice and edge that number of times. I then roll a second: if this is lower than the first, edge this number of times and I am denied. If higher, then edge the dice count again and roll a third time: one or two means I ruin (still counts as orgasm); three or more and I can cum freely.
2. Chew worn socks each evening before bed until next orgasm (done).
3. One orgasm while fucking or licking a toilet seat (done).
4. One orgasm while fucking a desert - cake, trifle, eclaires etc. which I then eat up hands free.
5. During my weekend, alone, to spend at least three hours continuously erect with anyone able to check on me (done)
6. Messy task from Post 57.
7. Leland’s task from Post 73 (done).

Ways to earn back forfeited orgasms:
1. Perform 150 edges per day for one week, with at least 2 weeks since last orgasm.
2. Spend a full week (Sunday to Saturday) without looking at any uncensored female nudity or exposed female genitals at all.

An offer and some information.

First, the offer. I’m due to be away next week travelling for work. During the day I won’t be available but each evening will be alone in a hotel room. Special tasks or rules for my week away are welcome.

Second, the information. I’ve made good progress the past few days on getting back some edges and have done a lot today (though well off daily record). Earlier I was feeling so desperate and depraved that I phoned a cam/phone sex line (Babestation for anyone in the UK) and spent 15 minutes solid being edged, denied, humiliated for my small cock and pathetic predicament and teased with the girls feet. It isn’t the first time I’ve done this but is so humbling and humiliating to have to explain my situation (self imposed) to an attractive stranger and have them laugh at me and tease/humiliate me.

I’m not totally alone for the rest of the evening but have some scope for special tasks or requests (if quiet) if you’d like to take advantage of my particularly vulnerable mood.

In the interest of transparency..have now got this challenge too..

https://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=434891