Granted. But now your sperm production and podentcy (sp?) have multiplied ten-fold. The increased spermcount raises testosterone levels in your body exponentially, making you prone to random violent outbursts, while the increased potentcy (sp?) raises your partner's chances of getting pregnant to positively certain. Not even condoms or birth control can save you from unwanted children.

I wish my friend wasn't being such a dramatic, indecisive ho-bag.

Granted your friend has changed, they are now someone completely different and unknown to you.

I wish I could fall from any height without injury.

Granted. You bounce right out of the atmosphere.

I wish I could still get excited about costumes for Halloween.

Granted, though you are now convinced that people are the things they dressed up as, leading to a mental break and the insane asylum.

I wish that I didn't have insomnia.

Granted, you now have mono instead.

I wish I could walk on any surface, walls, ceilings, lava, water, etc.

granted, though gravity no longer applies and you float away.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich.

Granted, but the turkey isn't dead, it is a whole living turkey that has been genetically altered by terrorists to kill people that like turkey sandwiches.

I wish I has a finished basement.

Granted, but whilst putting in the new pipes, they find the lost treasure of D. B. Cooper. Initially, you are filled with joy, but further investigation sees the money taken from you, you are investigated for tax evasion, Cooper's body is also in the wall cavity and you are arrested for murder. Go straight to prison, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I wish I had not made this wish.

Alright. But this paradox causes a catastrophic rip in the space-time continuum which destroys the universe.

I wish you'd not made that wish.

Granted, his wish never came true, but then yours did not as well and the same thing happens.

I wish you would stop wishing that their wishes wouldn't happen.

Granted. But then unimaginitive, unoriginal posters run out of ideas for posting, and the thread evenually dies.

I wish I didn't have to wear my retainer in order to keep my teeth alligned.

Granted, all your teeth fall out.

I wish I could finish writing this novel.

Wish granted. Once you finish your house catches on fire burning your novel and nobody get to read it. You try to rewrite it but it not even close to as good as the first.

I wish for an unlimited supply of good marijuana with never getting caught by the cops or my mom (:

Granted, you have all the marijuana you will ever need for the rest of your life. Unfortunately that is only 5 more minutes because as you lite up your first one you accidentally burn your house down and you burn along with it.

I wish there was some kind of cream or lotion you could rub on yourself that would make it feel like you were having an orgasm until you wiped it off or until it wore off.

Granted, but the cream makes your balls extremely itchy for 2 days every time you use it.

I wish halloween wasnt over.