It's no secret I love my Butterfly with all my heart. She really is the most caring, sweet and wonderful person you'll ever meet. I truely am blessed to be married to such an amazing girl. She puts up with a lot from me, I make horrible silly jokes, make up ridiculous words, unintentionally ignore her, tickle her way more often than she would like, I steal blankets, I get grumpy about folding laundry, I could go on and on. Yet she still loves me more than I can imagine. She makes me smile every single day. She makes me appreciate life in a way I never thought possible. She truely is my soul mate!

As of now all posts will count as double. There is also no posting restrictions on double posting or time limit. Compliment, jokes and pics/gifs still stand.

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Another 3 :)

Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
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Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?

+3

I was going to start a Procrastinators Club. But then I realized I’d have to reject anyone who actually turned up at the meeting so I decided to put it off again.

+3

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

+3

The wolf and the fox meet. The wolf says: "I am bored". "Then let's beat up the rabbit", the fox suggests. "But we need a reason for that", replies the wolf. "No problem", answers the fox, "If it eears a hat, we tell him it was ugly and beat him up. If he wears no hat, we tell him he will catch a cold and beat him up for that instead". The wolf agrees. So they go to the rabbit. It wears no hat. They beat it up as planned.

Next day the wolf and the fox meet again. And again, the wolf is bored. "Then let's do it", siggests the fox. "But we need another reason for that today." The fox has a suggestion: "We ask it for a cigarette. If it offers one without a filter tube, we blame it for wanting to poison us. If it offers one with, we blaim it for not granting us the full flavor". They agree and ask the rabbit. It asks them: "Do you want one with or without filter tube?" The fox points out: "Look, it doesn't wear a hat again"!


Another spank :)

Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.

One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”

The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
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The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
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“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
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“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
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Poof once more – and he’s 90.

+3

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Plus 5, or is it 10 :)

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Plus 5! Or 10 if we are supposed to put the doubled number.

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Plus 5

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Plus 5 spanks because I will gladly spending my free time before class letting you know you are loved.

Is this technically considered spam?
https://www.rover.com/blog/wp-conten...e-dog-joke.jpg

Plus 5 spanks from me.

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plus 5 spanks gorgeous

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Have another 5 spanks from me.