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Mental health

Posted 09-23-2021 at 01:36 AM by CSasha

Thanks for the inspiration to knorke due to her lovely blog entry Time. Go have a look and possibly be inspired.

Fortunately, I am physically pretty healthy. Some issues with my teeth, my knees are sometimes muttering about their age, and I guess some organs are deteriorated to a degree I haven't noticed yet. It has been quite some time I had to see a doctor, and for minor issues like shoulder and neck muscles due to lack of relaxing exercise (I have a desk job), not to speak of having to check in into a hospital.

Mental health is my biggest issue, in my whole life, and it took me over three decades to find out and seek help. I consider myself having functional depression. That means I am pretty down nearly every day, but I make it up from bed good enough to function. It costs me plenty of energy on most of my days though. Looking back, I can't remember that being every different for my whole life, with only a few days being the exception. It always needs a due date and good reason that I get up or get something done, or the most simple things take me ages to even start, like making a phone call.

Currently, I am pretty down and shaken since my brother had a stroke. He is on the way of recovery, looking very good so far, but family drama is coming along with it now. It turns out, my siblings aren't mentally as well as I thought.

Recently, I have thought about visiting a psycho therapist. I never went to one. So far, I am pretty happy with the Systemic family constellation / Psychodrama in a group of strangers. The best thing for me is that it doesn't require as much commitment as a therapy via a series of sessions. Most often, it's just a weekend or an evening, pretty exhausting, but that's it, without any further strings attached. For best visited coaches I only need to register several weeks ahead, versus six months or more for a psychotherapist. Just mentioning here that that's a big obstacle for me.

I have learned that everyone is different also in regard of what therapy or therapeutic activity suits their needs. My husband is writing stories and novels around his traumas, for instance. But it's remarkable how much I had to become aware and accept, that I need some kind of coach to really help my issues - some professionally trained person willing to help me, in a time, space, and relationship to guide me the process of change for the better.

Unfortunately, these sessions in groups have been unavailable due to the pandemic for around two years now. I am eagerly waiting and already looking when and where the according restriction are lifted, so I can deal with my remaining issues via this method. It is offered as 1 on 1 by several coaches but I don't feel confident enough that this is feasible for me. Or I don't dare. I haven't dared yet, at least. On the other hand, I am feeling pretty bad for some weeks now and getting desperate. So I'll see.

Thanks for reading and for any sympathy.
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  1. Old Comment
    MarvHarvey's Avatar
    I am sad to hear that you are feeling the pressure.
    Take care of yourself.

    Find some kind of outlet - and 1 on 1 can be very very useful once you get past "hello." It is their daily work to help people take that step.

    It is different in every country, but I know a couple of colleagues who found online (Zoom/Skype) counselor (one was only to direct to other resources) and group sessions in a few days. The group sessions can of course be anywhere when they are online!
    Posted 09-23-2021 at 07:10 AM by MarvHarvey MarvHarvey is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Sexyplant's Avatar
    Honestly, it took me years to get my own therapist; in fact, I only got one in March. You know that song "Somebody I Used to Know" where they had that line, "You get used to a certain kind of sadness?" Well, I see depression that way. It's hard for a lot of people, including myself to see a life outside of depression, especially as many of us have faced it and looked it in the eye for decades.

    However, I would say, as hesitant as you may be to 1 on 1 therapy, at this point, if you are getting desperate, give it a try. But, I suggest, doing some research on the therapists if you can, and on the clinic. Like, before I approached the clinic I'm at now, I actually searched by location, then by specialty. For example, there are many different types of therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy are just the tip of the iceberg). Then, if you can, make the call.

    I'd say, I would keep with the coaches in the meantime if you can, especially as they seem to be helping you very well, and hold out for the group therapy, but with a step in place for 1 on 1 just in case. The key is getting yourself the help you need, and it's okay and perfectly valid to use different resources to build up your armor to fight against a monster such as depression is.

    I don't know as much about mental health treatment in your country, but one thing you can try, if finances aren't an issue, is Better Help. Or possibly see if there are some charities that can help you/offer therapy services. You'd be surprised what you can find with an internet search.

    Some other useful tips that have helped me, and may help you. Bullet journaling/journaling. I have noticed that it's hard for me to talk to my doctor or even my therapist about issues, especially as they fall out of my head as soon as I enter their office or even join the virtual meeting. However, having a bullet journal (typed up in my case, though it could be written in yours) has been very helpful. It allows me to track things such as ideation, depressive dives, summaries of the week. Why do I do this? Because it helps my therapist or doctor tailor treatment that is best for me. It also allows me to look back and track my growth.

    You just have to find what works best for you. <3 Please take care of yourself. Fighting depression is never easy, and progress is never a straight line. Practice some self care if you can and remember that you have people who care about you both on and offline. It's hard at times to remember that in our darkest hours.

    And once again, thank you for sharing this. It has always been a pleasure to read your blog entries, and I have always learned something new from them.
    Posted 09-23-2021 at 12:45 PM by Sexyplant Sexyplant is offline
  3. Old Comment
    SilverSwitch's Avatar
    Sorry to hear about your brother. And, I hear you on the realizing that family members are not as well put together as they may seem.

    I hope things do open up soon so that you can start meeting with the groups again.

    Also, thanks for sharing, this and your many other posts.
    Posted 09-26-2021 at 10:51 PM by SilverSwitch SilverSwitch is offline
  4. Old Comment
    CSasha's Avatar
    Thanks for the all the lovely comments and advice. My brother is on the way of recoery, and so are my family and I mentally.
    Posted 09-27-2021 at 02:36 AM by CSasha CSasha is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Orgasmic.Goddess's Avatar
    Mental health is very important to your quality of life. It's also so often overlooked, because it's often invisible, and people are told to "harden up". With my anxiety, often people dismiss it and say it's nerves or whatever, but it's like depression - there's a difference between just feeling sad and being depressed. People don't always understand and that makes it harder to get the help you need.
    Posted 10-01-2021 at 08:04 PM by Orgasmic.Goddess Orgasmic.Goddess is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Thanks for sharing your journey so openly. It takes guts to talk about mental health struggles. I can relate to the whole 'functional depression' thing. It's like dragging yourself through molasses sometimes, right? And I'm really sorry to hear about your brother's stroke. Family stuff can really throw a curveball, can't it?

    You mentioned considering therapy, and I totally get the hesitation. It's a big step. I remember when I was in a similar place, unsure about diving into therapy. But then, a friend shared this story about how they found a unique kind of support through group sessions. It was like therapy-lite, you know? Anyway, they stumbled upon this website, sunlightrecovery.com, and gave it a shot. The community aspect was refreshing, and they didn't feel tied down to a long-term commitment.
    Posted 05-03-2024 at 01:47 AM by Eternalotsi Eternalotsi is offline
  7. Old Comment
    viterneb's Avatar
    Hey, thanks for sharing your journey. Mental health is a rollercoaster, huh? I can relate – navigating those ups and downs can feel like a marathon. Once, I found myself in a similar spot, searching for answers. Depression centers in Florida popped up during my quest, shedding light on different avenues for support. It's great that you're exploring options like systemic family constellation – finding what works for you is key. Remember, it's okay to take it one step at a time, especially with everything going on.
    Posted 05-07-2024 at 03:38 AM by viterneb viterneb is offline

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