Virtues of Kink
Posted 09-21-2022 at 07:45 PM by lola.fox
Tags advice, kink, kink community, newbies, virtues
I was looking through past blogs of mine and saw I had a post about kink peeves of mine and thought I should counter that with some advice I wish I'd gotten when I first came around gD. I think these virtues would help any kinkster online or in person really, and although they seem obvious I hope it'll help out someone who might be struggling and need some guidance. Please do let me know what you consider to be a kinky virtue!
Patience - You need so much of this here. You need patience to deal with the aging of our site
but also to deal with those who are here for a quick fix. The ones who pressure you into photos or showing your face too early on. For those who want too much of you too soon, without putting in the work. The patience to wait until your thread gets replies, to meet a play partner that suits you. You also need patience when it comes to wanting to try all the things. It’s normal to want to experience everything this little world has to offer, but try to remind yourself to slow down and let the experiences come naturally. Let yourself sit in your feelings afterwards and decide if you’ve really enjoyed the new kinks you’ve tried or if you’re just in a temporary euphoric state and will come tumbling down afterwards. Allow yourself patience to try things at your own pace by listening to your body, even if it’s a little frustrating. Remember that those you might be in charge of during play need this and don’t pressure them for your own satisfaction, patiently savor the entire meal from beginning to end so that you both can enjoy a sweet ending to the session.
Thoughtfulness - Try to put care into all of your actions on the site and throughout your explorations of your kinky journey. Remind yourself that you’re speaking to real people, regardless of if you consider yourself a top, bottom or somewhere in-between. Focus on the quality of your posts, threads or DMs. You’re more likely to get more action or responses on them if they’re well thought out and show you’re worth responding to versus those who post in mass quantities with little substance or who regularly abandon ventures just to create new requests moments later. Curate messages specific to the recipient - if you’re spamming people with the same copy-paste spiel and getting few offers to take you up on your requests, I think it’s time to try a new route.
Skepticism - I’m not saying to become a pessimist or to become completely distrustful of everyone you encounter, but even though we’re all real people - we may not be who we say we are and we may not be doing what we say we’re doing. Allow yourself a health dose of skepticism.. if something feels off, it probably is. I rarely have regretted trusting my gut when it comes to most things, gD especially, but I always regret not listening to myself or red flags I’ve turned a blind eye to. If you feel that something isn’t quite right, bring it up and allow for open communication - removing judgement from a situation might help to settle the uneasiness or make it clear you’re in for more deceit despite your best efforts. Take your time to do some research before taking peoples word for things, have a nosy around their profile and posts to see if you’re being duped or ask for advice if needed - the gD is really quite helpful and offers much more than meets the eye!
Virtues of Kink
Patience - You need so much of this here. You need patience to deal with the aging of our site
but also to deal with those who are here for a quick fix. The ones who pressure you into photos or showing your face too early on. For those who want too much of you too soon, without putting in the work. The patience to wait until your thread gets replies, to meet a play partner that suits you. You also need patience when it comes to wanting to try all the things. It’s normal to want to experience everything this little world has to offer, but try to remind yourself to slow down and let the experiences come naturally. Let yourself sit in your feelings afterwards and decide if you’ve really enjoyed the new kinks you’ve tried or if you’re just in a temporary euphoric state and will come tumbling down afterwards. Allow yourself patience to try things at your own pace by listening to your body, even if it’s a little frustrating. Remember that those you might be in charge of during play need this and don’t pressure them for your own satisfaction, patiently savor the entire meal from beginning to end so that you both can enjoy a sweet ending to the session.Thoughtfulness - Try to put care into all of your actions on the site and throughout your explorations of your kinky journey. Remind yourself that you’re speaking to real people, regardless of if you consider yourself a top, bottom or somewhere in-between. Focus on the quality of your posts, threads or DMs. You’re more likely to get more action or responses on them if they’re well thought out and show you’re worth responding to versus those who post in mass quantities with little substance or who regularly abandon ventures just to create new requests moments later. Curate messages specific to the recipient - if you’re spamming people with the same copy-paste spiel and getting few offers to take you up on your requests, I think it’s time to try a new route.
Skepticism - I’m not saying to become a pessimist or to become completely distrustful of everyone you encounter, but even though we’re all real people - we may not be who we say we are and we may not be doing what we say we’re doing. Allow yourself a health dose of skepticism.. if something feels off, it probably is. I rarely have regretted trusting my gut when it comes to most things, gD especially, but I always regret not listening to myself or red flags I’ve turned a blind eye to. If you feel that something isn’t quite right, bring it up and allow for open communication - removing judgement from a situation might help to settle the uneasiness or make it clear you’re in for more deceit despite your best efforts. Take your time to do some research before taking peoples word for things, have a nosy around their profile and posts to see if you’re being duped or ask for advice if needed - the gD is really quite helpful and offers much more than meets the eye!
Total Comments 4
Comments
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I really like this post. It's useful and more people should read it.
Some virtues that you should have with kink on this website when you're dominant are realism and being able to provide care. It helps to think about how the other party will be able to achieve things. How many hands will they need? Will they get away with doing it safely and undetected? How much time will it take and can they fit it into a busy daily schedule? I see people lacking these virtues and I wish more people would just put a little bit more effort into thinking things through.Posted 09-23-2022 at 03:08 PM by drwarschauu 
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One thing I think is great here is the potential for shared knowledge, or the sensitivity gained from reflecting on it; in terms of likes or limits, for example, how far someone can go in one direction, but not in another, and for people to see that unfold, understand it, learn from it, etc.
Also, the sheer variety, and how specific some attractions are, or the effect they have on another, can give new appreciation and insight.
Really enjoyed this! Thank you!Posted 09-24-2022 at 01:35 AM by StrawDog
Updated 09-24-2022 at 04:31 AM by StrawDog -
thank you! i do agree - realism is definitely needed. the amount of times i had people in my early days on the site request that i do tasks that were physically impossible or just not feasible without breaking laws is far too high. i wish i could post this as disclaimers on everyones threads on the forumsQuote:Originally Posted by drwarschauu
I really like this post. It's useful and more people should read it.
Some virtues that you should have with kink on this website when you're dominant are realism and being able to provide care. It helps to think about how the other party will be able to achieve things. How many hands will they need? Will they get away with doing it safely and undetected? How much time will it take and can they fit it into a busy daily schedule? I see people lacking these virtues and I wish more people would just put a little bit more effort into thinking things through.Posted 09-25-2022 at 03:48 PM by lola.fox
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thank you! i do wish it was easier to compile all that knowledge or even that the kink & education section was a lil more activeQuote:Originally Posted by StrawDog
One thing I think is great here is the potential for shared knowledge, or the sensitivity gained from reflecting on it; in terms of likes or limits, for example, how far someone can go in one direction, but not in another, and for people to see that unfold, understand it, learn from it, etc.
Also, the sheer variety, and how specific some attractions are, or the effect they have on another, can give new appreciation and insight.
Really enjoyed this! Thank you!Posted 09-25-2022 at 04:08 PM by lola.fox
