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A Domme Win!

Posted 11-13-2020 at 12:13 AM by Butterfly
Updated 11-13-2020 at 12:25 AM by Butterfly

Being a Domme can be heavy burden to bare. It is a lot of responsibility - or at least it should be! When you ask somebody to be yours, you are committing to their well being, to their safety, to their best interest. At least this is how I feel as a Domme.

I spend a lot of time thinking about worrying about the horrible things that I make my subs do, about the things that I forbid them from doing, about the impact that I want to have in their lives. Sometimes I lose sleep about it. I think overall I do pretty well, but it's still hard to know for sure.

However, recently I had a huge Domme Win that made me feel like I actually have a positive impact on my subs' lives.

About a year and a half ago, Jaro and I changed how our D/s was being done. We switched from a long list of rules to a much shorter list with some goal based tasks.

I asked Jaro to make a list of 3-5 kinky and personal goals that he would like us to work on together. Some of the goals he chose were to wear the chastity cage for longer periods of time, lose weight, anal training and to go on a date. We would meet at the beginning of each month and talk through each goal. I would assign baby steps to be completed throughout the month. Some of the goals were easier than others.

We were able to successfully meet some of the goals (Jaro is at his goal weight!) and others we learned were just not meant to be (his little worm is just not a fan of the cage). Throughout Covid we loosened some of the restrictions for mental health reasons, and some goals just didn't seem feasible given the worldwide restrictions. We had pretty much given up on Jaro going on a date for the foreseeable future.

However, about a week or two after we removed that goal from his list, restrictions lifted enough that Jaro was able to attend a speed dating event he had previously signed up for. This was great news! If nothing else, it was a great way for Jaro to get out and socialize and practice "dating".

Jaro reported back that the event went well and he had chosen two ladies that he had given a "yes" to. If he received a "yes" back from either of them, the coordinators would forward him the contact information of his match. The next day he learned that he had a match!!!!

I was so excited. I was freaking proud. I was SO proud of Jaro for sticking with the tasks that I gave him, for pushing through and being uncomfortable and it all paid off! He contacted his match and scheduled a date.

I have to admit that I was freaking proud of myself too. It was MY influence, MY tasks, MY instructions that pushed him to this place. It was a huge win as a Domme! After all the worrying, fretting, stressing, I had a positive impact, a real, measurable, impact.

Yay Jaro! Yay Me!!!



Ps. The first date went well, and they have now been on a few dates, though with Covid, dating is very difficult right now. So we will see how things progress. Either way, this is a win!
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Thats amazing to read. Go Jaro!!
    Posted 11-13-2020 at 08:10 AM by Clueless1 Clueless1 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    Yay Miss Butterfly!

    You helped me not only to reach goals that I never would have otherwise; you also helped me overcome fears and self-doubts and helped me build my confidence.

    I just went out to buy eyeliner and mascara like you ordered and I wasn't even nervous about it.

    You made me into a better man.... sorry... I mean worm!
    Posted 11-13-2020 at 08:36 AM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  3. Old Comment
    CSasha's Avatar
    Yay Butterfly! Yay Jaro!

    Don't forget subs have a responsibility to stop their Dommes at their limits, give feedback, care for themselves, and provide aftercare for their Dommes, too. Exactly how you specified, Dommes can after afterthoughts and worries about what they did and do. It's both ways to aftercare.
    Posted 11-13-2020 at 10:52 AM by CSasha CSasha is offline
  4. Old Comment
    owlart's Avatar
    That's awesome! Well done to you, Butterfly, and to Jaro too! Keeping my fingers crossed for Jaro!
    Posted 11-14-2020 at 09:30 AM by owlart owlart is offline
 

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