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Subby Vulnerability

Posted 03-01-2023 at 11:50 PM by Butterfly

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with life lately. I started a new job in January, two new dynamics within the last 6 months, some family drama and its just been a lot of adulting and stuff. You know, life!

One tactic that I have always been able to use to help me decompress when life gets overwhelming, is to submit. For a long time, I did this with Mr. Devious. However, as life has changed over the years and we have grown in our kinks, we have come to the realization that we just aren't able to meet each others kink needs in that way.

My subby side is so much more vulnerable. She is easily hurt. She can be taken advantage of. She can get very attached. That is why I don't play casually as a sub. It is why I can sometimes be SUPER bratty when I first start engaging with a Dom. It is why my sub side is so unfulfilled ... or has been ....

My relationship with Sleepysloth has been going so well. We are nearing the 6 month mark. For the first time since Mr. Devious, I feel like I can really trust somebody with my subby side.

In 35 hours I am going to be flying to be with my Dommy for 3 whole weeks. We will spend the weekend at a secluded cottage, just the two of us to celebrate his birthday. Friday night we will have no rules, we will just cuddle and just relax and BE together. However, Saturday is going to be very different.

Sleepysloth will make me his slave. I will be fully at his mercy. I don't need to think or worry, I will just follow his directions. I can do nothing without his permission. Gah!

A TPE weekend has been on my bucket list for a long time. I have fantasized about it, written about it, talked about it forever! I want to fully submit to him. I want to let go. The thought of being HIS ... Totally his ... It is such a hot thought.

I am nervous, I am scared, I am anxious, I am excited, I am ready. I am ready to give in. To trust. To be vulnerable. I am ready for the release. To just release myself of all worry and responsibility.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    DeepInnerFreak's Avatar
    Firstly, I hope you have such a wonderful time away! I'm excited for you that you have found someone you can feel so vulnerable with and have reached the point where you are able to give them full control. I have to say a TPE weekend does sound hot and in my subby moments the idea has teased my thoughts occasionally.

    Secondly, I can totally relate to you needing to submit to decompress, although in my case it's to Dominate. I feel much more comfortable dominating and it's a nice way for me to be distracted and immerse myself into someone elses little world and focus my attention away from my life and make it all about them... whilst making it about me I guess whatever the role, just re-prioritsing your needs for a while makes for a nice break from real world adulting.

    Have fun <3 x x x
    Posted 03-02-2023 at 06:54 AM by DeepInnerFreak DeepInnerFreak is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    I am so happy for you that you get to have this TPE weekend! I can understand you are axious but I know you can do it and, most important, are in great hands. I can't wait to hear how it went!
    Posted 03-02-2023 at 09:53 AM by Jaro Jaro is offline
 

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