A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Why a ruined orgasm doesn't upset me
My pet has been very open with the fact that he is not very good at edging. He will be edging along nicely and all of a sudden ... a ruin! It is something that he has become a little better at controlling since we started practicing, but it is still pretty frequent.
It has never really bothered me, because I know it is something that he can't really prevent from happening. I know he isn't deliberately breaking a rule or finding a loop hole around the rule. It just happens.
But I know it upsets him.
My pet knows that one of my biggest turn ons as a Domme, is orgasm control. I want to control when he touches, when he edges, when he cums ... And I do! This is something that is very important to me. I love to keep my pet horny and desperate for me. But the reason it turns me on, is because I am in charge of his PLEASURE!
A ruined orgasm doesn't feel good for my pet. He gets no physical pleasure from it. And mentally he only gets more frustrated. So when I say I want to control his orgasms, a ruin doesn't count because he gets no PLEASURE!
But that doesn't stop him from feeling like he failed.
At the beginning of the year, my pet made the goal of wanting to be able to do 14 days of edging with 14 edges a day before he would be allowed to cum. We tried starting with 7 edges a day for 7 days, and he ruined after the fourth day. After the third time of this happening, we tried 5 days with 5 edges, and again we didn't succeed.
I don't consider this a failure. But I am really starting to think that it might not be worth fussing over. Everybody is different. Not everybody can edge 100 times without ruining. But we don't hear about those stories.
We are bombarded by threads and porn videos of people being edged over and over, growing ever more desperate and horny, never quite getting close enough. Any ruins we see are forced, deliberate.
But there has to be other people out there. I, myself, have problems edging. If I am masturbating alone, I always edge a million times while watching porn first. And very often, I will get a little too excited, and even though I removed the vibe, my muscles still contract, and give me a little baby orgasm. It is awful because I was building up to this big magical orgasm, and then it is just a let down!
I know others have to have experienced this!
Do you have problems edging? Do you ruin often? It would be a huge help if you could share your stories!
It has never really bothered me, because I know it is something that he can't really prevent from happening. I know he isn't deliberately breaking a rule or finding a loop hole around the rule. It just happens.
But I know it upsets him.
My pet knows that one of my biggest turn ons as a Domme, is orgasm control. I want to control when he touches, when he edges, when he cums ... And I do! This is something that is very important to me. I love to keep my pet horny and desperate for me. But the reason it turns me on, is because I am in charge of his PLEASURE!
A ruined orgasm doesn't feel good for my pet. He gets no physical pleasure from it. And mentally he only gets more frustrated. So when I say I want to control his orgasms, a ruin doesn't count because he gets no PLEASURE!
But that doesn't stop him from feeling like he failed.
At the beginning of the year, my pet made the goal of wanting to be able to do 14 days of edging with 14 edges a day before he would be allowed to cum. We tried starting with 7 edges a day for 7 days, and he ruined after the fourth day. After the third time of this happening, we tried 5 days with 5 edges, and again we didn't succeed.
I don't consider this a failure. But I am really starting to think that it might not be worth fussing over. Everybody is different. Not everybody can edge 100 times without ruining. But we don't hear about those stories.
We are bombarded by threads and porn videos of people being edged over and over, growing ever more desperate and horny, never quite getting close enough. Any ruins we see are forced, deliberate.
But there has to be other people out there. I, myself, have problems edging. If I am masturbating alone, I always edge a million times while watching porn first. And very often, I will get a little too excited, and even though I removed the vibe, my muscles still contract, and give me a little baby orgasm. It is awful because I was building up to this big magical orgasm, and then it is just a let down!
I know others have to have experienced this!
Do you have problems edging? Do you ruin often? It would be a huge help if you could share your stories!
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Frankly, I still have difficulties to differ between an edge and an orgasm. I have involved using my PC muscle to suppress coming years ago but actually never tracked how strong it had become. I wasn't educated about it but I also didn't care that much. Recently this article helped me to understand the issue a bit better. Now I think I frequently have edges but sometimes also orgasms without ejaculation, and some days I just have them plain with them, either because I couldn't hold it back or didn't want it. I have rather difficulties to remember any ruined orgasm now. I probably had a lot but I didn't differ back then.Posted 01-26-2017 at 05:13 PM by CSasha 
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Thanks for the nice article.
You say a few valid points. "Not be worth fussing over". I think the main point is,.... There will always be things someone really cannot do. At the end its "the dedication" that counts. "The trust", "the connection".
I plan difficult or harsh tasks and punishments for my pet, but i always carve them in a way that i am reasonably convinced she can do them. As a result she now hardly thinks about whether she can or not, she hardly thinks about whether it is too much, she just does. From her that is great trust. But,..... The others side of the coin is that i "know" that failing a task makes her feel really miserable.
Sooo,.. I can imagine very well the frustration that comes with not being able to do the task as asked. Adapting the task such that it becomes doable is really good. It helps. But at the end i thing your right,... "Not worth fussing over". Feeling that your pet is really allheartedly serving you is the thing that counts. Its at the end not his ability to execute some specific trick. We are all different,... Some things are just too hard.
On the other hand,.. Things like this are great to use. If you "want" to bring frustration this can be a great tool. If your pet knows that you are not "really" expecting him to succeed but merely using such task as a way to frustrate him this can become a pleasurable thing again.
My pet doesn't like stress. Letting her write lines under pressure always gets her to errors. Doing that makes a great play. She fails. But she also knows,... She is not "really failing me", she knows i'm just stretching her stress-boundery.
In such a way i can still use things my pet fails on in play.
You can probably use the edging without ruining in a similar way (you dont have to, its just a thought).
(Ok,... The response got a little longer than planned
)Posted 01-27-2017 at 12:08 AM by sir sam 
Updated 01-27-2017 at 12:12 AM by sir sam
