The pros and cons of being in a three person dynamic.

After Butterfly and I tied on the vs thread we did a little while ago, this was the blog topic she gave me. It's taken me a while to get to it but finally here it is!

As a Domme:

The pros:

~Shared responsibility.
If either of us has other things going on or need to be absent or are sick, busy etc we can let the other one know and plan accordingly. It means that Jaro isn't left to his own devices if one of us can't be around.

~One of us being around at most times for Jaro.
When Butterfly is sleeping it is my daytime so I can be around to answer any questions or requests Jaro has, for example: bathroom permission. When it is my night time, Butterfly can take over this way.

~Double sadisticness!
It can be helpful to bounce ideas off one another or if we aren't sure if something will work that we want to try the other can provide input and help.

~One person being the voice of reason.
When emotions are high and tempers are frayed it can help for one of us to step in and calm down the other parties.

~Creativity.
Two heads are better than one! We can work out tasks for Jaro together or add to each other's tasks to make it more fun/challenging for him.

~No feelings/less feelings of guilt when one of us has to be away.
Sort of ties into the first reason, but I find this important enough to mention on it's own. In my opinion you shouldn't just vanish on your sub without any warning if you can help it. A couple of times I have been sick and slept for 24-48 hours and been unable to even get out of bed. While it isn't ideal and I felt guilty for not being able to mention it in advance, the feelings are considerably less than they would be if it was a two person dynamic solely because I know Jaro hasn't just been left alone for those 1-2 days.

Cons:
~Time zones.
It can be difficult arranging a time for all three of us to be here at the same time to play live or discuss/review things as we progress in the relationship. There is only an hour difference between Jaro and I, but he sleeps much earlier than I do and wakes much earlier. Too early. It's still night time when he gets up! Odd little worm. And there are 7 hours between Butterfly and I. So it can be a challenge for us to all be around at the same time between work, commitments and our time zones.

~Jealousy.
This isn't an issue at all for me but when we first started I did wonder if it would be. What if I got jealous sharing my sub? What if I got jealous if I ended up not having as much control? What if I got jealous seeing Butterfly give Jaro tasks or orders as well as me giving them? Luckily we all work very well together and communicate easily and often, so it has never been an actual issue, although I think it could be if we didn't do things the way we do.

~Crossed wires.
Again this hasn't happened with us, but if we didn't share group chats, make sure we gave all tasks to Jaro in our group chat and have Jaro write reports that we can both see and give him feedback on, we could easily give him contradicting tasks/orders by accident.


As a sub:
Pros:

~Double bratting!!!
It is just so fun to team up with Aimee and drive AM crazy. He probably wont agree.

~One person being the voice of reason.
Again, this can be used as a pro reason both as a sub and a domme. Come to think of it, I HAVE been the voice of reason for both Butterfly and Jaro and for AM and Aimee....and AM says I'm not mature or wise.

~Exploring/pushing limits
I've done sooo many things with/for Aimee that I never ever ever thought I would do for anyone but AM. If someone told me 2 years ago I would willingly offer to get naked and orgasm on a group video call with both AM and Aimee I would have laughed in their face.

~Having another sounding board if unsure/ucomfortable.
Whilst AM always supports me and encourages me if I'm finding something difficult, it can help to talk to someone who has already done the thing I am struggling with. If she didn't die from x thing then maybe I wont either.

~Creativity
It gets more and more difficult to find new ways to surprise AM, especially for things like birthdays and christmas. (I imagine this will be much easier in person.) We can share ideas or do something together if we are struggling to find a new way. (Which is actually where the idea for the double cam orgasm came from.)

~Taking each other's tasks.
If AM decides to give me edges and Aimee spanks, he will sometimes agree to let us switch and do each other's task. There's usually further conditions added on but it is still better than the original. Note- this is only for things like 'funishments.' We would never try and take each other's actual consequences/discipline. Which we don't need anyway because we are both well behaved angels.

Cons:
Time zones.
~There are 5 hours between Aimee and I and she is always soooo busy with her life. It can be difficult to get time to play together with AM.

~Jealousy
Again, this has never been an issue although I thought it may be when AM and I first talked about Aimee subbing to him too. What if he had less time for me? Or gave all his attention to Aimee? What if she felt like he only had time for me and none for her and it strained our friendship? What if he liked one of us more than the other? Luckily, we are both very supportive of each other's relationship with AM and will even tell AM to go spend time with the other and AM would never choose between us nor would we ask or expect him to.



I think that all of my relationships work so well because I love and adore and most importantly trust Aimee and Butterfly. I know that they don't want to cut me out and have AM and Jaro to theirselves. I don't think many people could pull off a serious three or more person dynamic if there wasn't a whole heap of trust and friendship involved between all parties.