Its 2:10
Just my demons get more and more in my head and my wolf inside me cant hold it anymore

This is just a summed up situation of everything
And esp that curse i talked about in my earlier post


When i close my eyes
I see her... i see every girl i lost.. every friend...

Everything gets more and more crazy and i.just... want to go to bed without seeing them kiss


It... hurts so badly and im just crying...

Before i say anything,
This is a heads up for some people
I say stuff about my mental health and issues

Currently being held awake by my thoughts, i am going to head into another dark lonewolf point in my life soon

But i realised i have a curse, and it may sound silly but this has occurred to me because it happend over and over again

Basically the curse is... i will never have sex in my life and will stay alone

for the people that...

Currently i realised that im beginning to smoke more
And before i would never buy them but i still did just now

And then there is the 2nd thing

Since i live in the Netherlands
I can basically buy weed without problems
But the thing was i never really did it alone or just without my best friend

And now i basically got one, and smoked it.


Its that i now realise, i might use more sigs or weed
But im not sure...

i dont know how to start this but..
Im just going to talk a bit here i guess, and finally open up to people about... my mind.

i hardly talk about this stuff.. but im going to post it here because i kinda have to talk.


in the course of my life, i have been dealing with many mental illnesses.
like depression,extreme anxiety,bipolar and much more

i have searched help after a long fight and even considered uhm
...