Nicely Doms It
Nicely Doms It
I’ve now been owned for over a year, yay! I was only vaguely looking for a Mistress all that time ago when Sexyred’s ad peaked my attention. After a pretty disastrous introduction to having a Mistress, my main hope was finding someone I could trust fully. Here my hope has been exceeded as I’ve explored kinks I hadn’t given any serious consideration. I’ve done so safely, without pressure and it’s been a perfect antidote to the horrible first introduction to being owned.
When I started looking for a Mistress my main expectation was finding someone sadistic & creative enough to push my buttons as often as possible. Someone to push me beyond my comfort zone, humiliate me whenever she felt like, and otherwise have fun using me with only minimal regard for my feelings. I wanted to feel thoroughly used. Sadistic, creative & mean. However (and hopefully I won’t get in trouble for saying this) “mean” really doesn’t describe Sexyred at all, in fact, she’s downright “nice”; and I’m super glad I didn’t get what I thought I was looking for.
Don’t confuse “nice” for “weak” though, in fact due to her understanding nature I’ve explored far more than I ever thought I would....
Denial - Having initially done very little (I guessed a week conscious denial but was sure I’d gone far longer with orgasm) I was dubious I’d end up doing much. Now I’m getting close to 1 full year without a single full orgasm, without ever feeling forced into it at any point. Starting slowly, allowing for accidents and I always feel if I really need to get out of my predicament I could. Oddly that extra “safety” that I think my Mistress would understand if I was simply too desperate to carry on makes me want to go further; in fact FAR further than if I felt more forced into the predicament in a manner that was unsafe.
Feminisation - Again initially it was a vague interest, something I’ve experimented with cross-dressing but nothing beyond that. I was also dubious how far I could take this as I don’t live alone and was uncomfortable borrowing my Mum’s clothes for any length of time. Slowly though I’ve managed to find a good hiding space (hopefully anyway!) and bought far more kink things than I probably should have. Panties, dresses, tights, chastity cages, floggers, nipple clamps...the list goes on. The initial “buying things” limit went by the wayside as I enjoyed exploring my kinks with an ever greater array of toys and Girling up with my own little mini-wardrobe. Again, rather than forcing me along an uncomfortable road Sexyred tends to leave me to buying what I want (while still having fun with what I buy of course).
When I read any sub/dom adverts most seem to want doms to be demanding & pushy in the hope to push subs to the extremes of their hidden desires. Over the past year I’ve been surprised how I’ve found a more understanding approach; making being submissive less stressful and pushing my kinks far further than I feel I would have if I felt uncomfortable/unsafe along the way. Rather than feeling less submissive with less pushing, I find myself even keener to perform well. The extra trust that comes from making sure I'm comfortable and chatting regularly makes sure I go that extra mile...
...when I'm able to that is. Over the last few months struggling a little with depression, my Mistress has been nothing but supportive. Reducing tasks (yes I’m still going with that thread eek), allowing a break from rules if I needed it and otherwise remaining super-nice. I'm sure the temptation must be there to tell me to get a move on so we can play more but I'm sure glad of the extra support in times when I'm struggling.
“There’s more than one way to crack a nut” seems like a particularly good way of putting it. While short-term pure sadistic play may push all my buttons I’m sure glad that it’s not the only speed Sexyred can play at. In the long-term that feeling of safety has meant I’ve been pushed along my kinks far further, but also in a way that has left me feeling as stress free as possible as I struggle healthwise. So while my initial expectations were only partially met I'm sure this is the best way to play in the long-term for me; with a mutual trust making sure my submissive desires get pushed just as much as I need. Pure sadism may get the job done but nicely does it too!
(I'm sure I'll regret describing Sexyred as "nice" quite so often come my next denial thread oops)
I’ve now been owned for over a year, yay! I was only vaguely looking for a Mistress all that time ago when Sexyred’s ad peaked my attention. After a pretty disastrous introduction to having a Mistress, my main hope was finding someone I could trust fully. Here my hope has been exceeded as I’ve explored kinks I hadn’t given any serious consideration. I’ve done so safely, without pressure and it’s been a perfect antidote to the horrible first introduction to being owned.
When I started looking for a Mistress my main expectation was finding someone sadistic & creative enough to push my buttons as often as possible. Someone to push me beyond my comfort zone, humiliate me whenever she felt like, and otherwise have fun using me with only minimal regard for my feelings. I wanted to feel thoroughly used. Sadistic, creative & mean. However (and hopefully I won’t get in trouble for saying this) “mean” really doesn’t describe Sexyred at all, in fact, she’s downright “nice”; and I’m super glad I didn’t get what I thought I was looking for.
Don’t confuse “nice” for “weak” though, in fact due to her understanding nature I’ve explored far more than I ever thought I would....
Denial - Having initially done very little (I guessed a week conscious denial but was sure I’d gone far longer with orgasm) I was dubious I’d end up doing much. Now I’m getting close to 1 full year without a single full orgasm, without ever feeling forced into it at any point. Starting slowly, allowing for accidents and I always feel if I really need to get out of my predicament I could. Oddly that extra “safety” that I think my Mistress would understand if I was simply too desperate to carry on makes me want to go further; in fact FAR further than if I felt more forced into the predicament in a manner that was unsafe.
Feminisation - Again initially it was a vague interest, something I’ve experimented with cross-dressing but nothing beyond that. I was also dubious how far I could take this as I don’t live alone and was uncomfortable borrowing my Mum’s clothes for any length of time. Slowly though I’ve managed to find a good hiding space (hopefully anyway!) and bought far more kink things than I probably should have. Panties, dresses, tights, chastity cages, floggers, nipple clamps...the list goes on. The initial “buying things” limit went by the wayside as I enjoyed exploring my kinks with an ever greater array of toys and Girling up with my own little mini-wardrobe. Again, rather than forcing me along an uncomfortable road Sexyred tends to leave me to buying what I want (while still having fun with what I buy of course).
When I read any sub/dom adverts most seem to want doms to be demanding & pushy in the hope to push subs to the extremes of their hidden desires. Over the past year I’ve been surprised how I’ve found a more understanding approach; making being submissive less stressful and pushing my kinks far further than I feel I would have if I felt uncomfortable/unsafe along the way. Rather than feeling less submissive with less pushing, I find myself even keener to perform well. The extra trust that comes from making sure I'm comfortable and chatting regularly makes sure I go that extra mile...
...when I'm able to that is. Over the last few months struggling a little with depression, my Mistress has been nothing but supportive. Reducing tasks (yes I’m still going with that thread eek), allowing a break from rules if I needed it and otherwise remaining super-nice. I'm sure the temptation must be there to tell me to get a move on so we can play more but I'm sure glad of the extra support in times when I'm struggling.
“There’s more than one way to crack a nut” seems like a particularly good way of putting it. While short-term pure sadistic play may push all my buttons I’m sure glad that it’s not the only speed Sexyred can play at. In the long-term that feeling of safety has meant I’ve been pushed along my kinks far further, but also in a way that has left me feeling as stress free as possible as I struggle healthwise. So while my initial expectations were only partially met I'm sure this is the best way to play in the long-term for me; with a mutual trust making sure my submissive desires get pushed just as much as I need. Pure sadism may get the job done but nicely does it too!
(I'm sure I'll regret describing Sexyred as "nice" quite so often come my next denial thread oops)
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