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  1. Old Comment
    viterneb's Avatar

    Mental health

    Hey, thanks for sharing your journey. Mental health is a rollercoaster, huh? I can relate – navigating those ups and downs can feel like a marathon. Once, I found myself in a similar spot, searching for answers. Depression centers in Florida popped up during my quest, shedding light on different avenues for support. It's great that you're exploring options like systemic family constellation – finding what works for you is key. Remember, it's okay to take it one step at a time, especially with everything going on.
    Posted 05-07-2024 at 03:38 AM by viterneb viterneb is offline
  2. Old Comment

    Mental health

    Thanks for sharing your journey so openly. It takes guts to talk about mental health struggles. I can relate to the whole 'functional depression' thing. It's like dragging yourself through molasses sometimes, right? And I'm really sorry to hear about your brother's stroke. Family stuff can really throw a curveball, can't it?

    You mentioned considering therapy, and I totally get the hesitation. It's a big step. I remember when I was in a similar place, unsure about diving into therapy. But then, a friend shared this story about how they found a unique kind of support through group sessions. It was like therapy-lite, you know? Anyway, they stumbled upon this website, sunlightrecovery.com, and gave it a shot. The community aspect was refreshing, and they didn't feel tied down to a long-term commitment.
    Posted 05-03-2024 at 01:47 AM by Eternalotsi Eternalotsi is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Manarus's Avatar

    New year 2024

    Hey,
    I am sorry to hear about your losses. Must be a really hard time. I hope you can manage.

    I wish you all the best and some calm time to settle.

    The days get longer from now on, and always remember: In the darkest part of the night, the sun will start to rise again.
    Posted 01-05-2024 at 12:15 PM by Manarus Manarus is offline
  4. Old Comment
    ScarletMaid's Avatar

    New year 2024

    Dont worry sometimes it takes a while to get back up!

    also your kinky games are always fun! please use us to beta test it!
    Posted 01-02-2024 at 08:42 PM by ScarletMaid ScarletMaid is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Lionsan's Avatar

    New year 2024

    I hope that 2024 is a great year for you CSasha, full of fun dares.

    Nearly lunchtime in NZ. Only 19C and cloudy here so good day to relax and cook a nice meal. Roast lamb is in the oven so going for an quick hours walk (too keep my NY resolution to exercise more).
    Posted 12-31-2023 at 03:32 PM by Lionsan Lionsan is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Blue Fox's Avatar

    New year 2024

    Happy new year!

    2023 has been rough, for sure. Sorry to hear about your losses and other difficulties. *offers a hug, but does not force one*

    On my agenda? To get myself to be used more (think a la gD tasks). So far, a few people have given me tasks and they got extended for as long as I can keep up with them. Let's see how this goes!
    Posted 12-31-2023 at 03:09 PM by Blue Fox Blue Fox is offline
  7. Old Comment
    tangula's Avatar

    221% more and better responses

    I struggle with this - I barely contact anyone directly. Mostly because of point 1 and my messed-up self-view. I just always assume that whatever I have to offer/ask/talk about is likely nothing they'd care about. Only if I am approached and have gotten in contact with people I sometimes reach back out to them.
    So I mostly end up with shitty public posts and only a handful of responses :P
    Posted 12-15-2023 at 02:30 AM by tangula tangula is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Number 20's Avatar

    221% more and better responses

    This is really well put. I might just print this out and post it at my local game shop to help some fellow socially awkward nerds XD
    Posted 12-13-2023 at 02:35 PM by Number 20 Number 20 is offline
  9. Old Comment
    The Otter Jackie's Avatar

    getDare Survival Guide

    Excellent post. I'm glad I saw your signature with the nice welcome packet of information. Thank you.
    Posted 11-30-2023 at 02:34 AM by The Otter Jackie The Otter Jackie is offline
  10. Old Comment
    GivingWantingDares's Avatar

    Fantastic PM dares and how to FIND them

    Some great PM dares! I'll take inspirations for something
    Posted 11-06-2023 at 02:15 PM by GivingWantingDares GivingWantingDares is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Geo T's Avatar

    getDare Survival Guide

    An excellent post! I wish more people would acknowledge the utter wisdom in it and live by it.
    To me, it clearly shows you're a real Human.
    Posted 04-14-2023 at 09:24 AM by Geo T Geo T is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar

    Why I won't ever force you ...

    Yep! Although there's also consensual non-consent. But that too needs to communicate well and up front and should only be done by people who know and trust each other so well.
    Posted 12-14-2021 at 09:22 PM by Jaro Jaro is online now
  13. Old Comment
    MarkNDoubt's Avatar

    Why I won't ever force you ...

    Nice pragmatic post and full of truth!

    Mark
    Posted 12-13-2021 at 02:04 PM by MarkNDoubt MarkNDoubt is offline
  14. Old Comment
    MarkNDoubt's Avatar

    Why I won't ever force you ...

    Amazing post

    Mark
    Posted 12-13-2021 at 02:03 PM by MarkNDoubt MarkNDoubt is offline
    Updated 12-13-2021 at 02:05 PM by MarkNDoubt
  15. Old Comment
    Lemuricon's Avatar

    Kink: unfairness/being bullied/bully

    I can also agree from the receiving side. someone taking away the control and bullying the plan into something "worse" can be a really amazing experience.

    Also, beware of perkygirlie XD or try to ignore she is around XD
    Posted 10-04-2021 at 02:08 AM by Lemuricon Lemuricon is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Manarus's Avatar

    Breaking point

    Absolutely!

    (gD says my message is too short, I however think it is quite the right length)
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 01:14 PM by Manarus Manarus is offline
  17. Old Comment
    FrostbittenSoul's Avatar

    Breaking point

    Every thread looking for tasks ... punishments ... or dares should always include a safe word just like in the real world ... and when it becomes too much ... that safe word should be uttered without the fear of punishment or retribution.

    When it all comes down to it ... the sub/slave is responsible for their own safe ... you always have a safe word even if you're with someone you trust ... why wouldn't you also have it when giving up control to a hoard of strangers?

    A safe word is something we all understand and respect ... (or at least we all should).
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 09:55 AM by FrostbittenSoul FrostbittenSoul is offline
  18. Old Comment
    SissyDiaper<3er's Avatar

    Breaking point

    You used the magic word. The most important thing in any Dom/sub relationship: "Care"

    Beautifully exposed and explained. Thank you very much

    Have fun, stay safe, and take care.
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 09:32 AM by SissyDiaper<3er SissyDiaper<3er is offline
  19. Old Comment
    perkygirlie's Avatar

    Kink: unfairness/being bullied/bully

    ^^This.^^
    I love being a bully in add threads or coming up with evil/mean tasks for people who post requests for "no limits" dares. I also love to be part of a smaller group dedicated to bullying each other, and everyone else.

    I never really had that experience in school, or at least not a lot. I was always more of an outsider; one of the kids who hid under the bleachers.
    Posted 10-02-2021 at 09:22 AM by perkygirlie perkygirlie is offline
    Updated 10-02-2021 at 09:25 AM by perkygirlie
  20. Old Comment

    Mental health

    Mental health is very important to your quality of life. It's also so often overlooked, because it's often invisible, and people are told to "harden up". With my anxiety, often people dismiss it and say it's nerves or whatever, but it's like depression - there's a difference between just feeling sad and being depressed. People don't always understand and that makes it harder to get the help you need.
    Posted 10-01-2021 at 08:04 PM by SilverBlue SilverBlue is offline
  21. Old Comment
    CSasha's Avatar

    Mental health

    Thanks for the all the lovely comments and advice. My brother is on the way of recoery, and so are my family and I mentally.
    Posted 09-27-2021 at 02:36 AM by CSasha CSasha is offline
  22. Old Comment
    SilverSwitch's Avatar

    Mental health

    Sorry to hear about your brother. And, I hear you on the realizing that family members are not as well put together as they may seem.

    I hope things do open up soon so that you can start meeting with the groups again.

    Also, thanks for sharing, this and your many other posts.
    Posted 09-26-2021 at 10:51 PM by SilverSwitch SilverSwitch is offline
  23. Old Comment
    Sexyplant's Avatar

    Mental health

    Honestly, it took me years to get my own therapist; in fact, I only got one in March. You know that song "Somebody I Used to Know" where they had that line, "You get used to a certain kind of sadness?" Well, I see depression that way. It's hard for a lot of people, including myself to see a life outside of depression, especially as many of us have faced it and looked it in the eye for decades.

    However, I would say, as hesitant as you may be to 1 on 1 therapy, at this point, if you are getting desperate, give it a try. But, I suggest, doing some research on the therapists if you can, and on the clinic. Like, before I approached the clinic I'm at now, I actually searched by location, then by specialty. For example, there are many different types of therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy are just the tip of the iceberg). Then, if you can, make the call.

    I'd say, I would keep with the coaches in the meantime if you can, especially as they seem to be helping you very well, and hold out for the group therapy, but with a step in place for 1 on 1 just in case. The key is getting yourself the help you need, and it's okay and perfectly valid to use different resources to build up your armor to fight against a monster such as depression is.

    I don't know as much about mental health treatment in your country, but one thing you can try, if finances aren't an issue, is Better Help. Or possibly see if there are some charities that can help you/offer therapy services. You'd be surprised what you can find with an internet search.

    Some other useful tips that have helped me, and may help you. Bullet journaling/journaling. I have noticed that it's hard for me to talk to my doctor or even my therapist about issues, especially as they fall out of my head as soon as I enter their office or even join the virtual meeting. However, having a bullet journal (typed up in my case, though it could be written in yours) has been very helpful. It allows me to track things such as ideation, depressive dives, summaries of the week. Why do I do this? Because it helps my therapist or doctor tailor treatment that is best for me. It also allows me to look back and track my growth.

    You just have to find what works best for you. <3 Please take care of yourself. Fighting depression is never easy, and progress is never a straight line. Practice some self care if you can and remember that you have people who care about you both on and offline. It's hard at times to remember that in our darkest hours.

    And once again, thank you for sharing this. It has always been a pleasure to read your blog entries, and I have always learned something new from them.
    Posted 09-23-2021 at 12:45 PM by Sexyplant Sexyplant is offline
  24. Old Comment
    MarvHarvey's Avatar

    Mental health

    I am sad to hear that you are feeling the pressure.
    Take care of yourself.

    Find some kind of outlet - and 1 on 1 can be very very useful once you get past "hello." It is their daily work to help people take that step.

    It is different in every country, but I know a couple of colleagues who found online (Zoom/Skype) counselor (one was only to direct to other resources) and group sessions in a few days. The group sessions can of course be anywhere when they are online!
    Posted 09-23-2021 at 07:10 AM by MarvHarvey MarvHarvey is offline
  25. Old Comment
    CSasha's Avatar

    Am I a boy?

    Just some more quote from -you guessed it- scientists:

    The article: Sex redefined: the idea of 2 sexes is overly simplistic on scientificamerican.com

    Quote:
    According to the simple scenario, the presence or absence of a Y chromosome is what counts: with it, you are male, and without it, you are female. But doctors have long known that some people straddle the boundary—their sex chromosomes say one thing, but their gonads (ovaries or testes) or sexual anatomy say another. Parents of children with these kinds of conditions—known as intersex conditions, or differences or disorders of sex development (DSDs)—often face difficult decisions about whether to bring up their child as a boy or a girl. Some researchers now say that as many as 1 person in 100 has some form of DSD.

    When genetics is taken into consideration, the boundary between the sexes becomes even blurrier. ...
    Quote:
    "The main problem with a strong dichotomy is that there are intermediate cases that push the limits and ask us to figure out exactly where the dividing line is between males and females," says Arthur Arnold at the University of California, Los Angeles, who studies biological sex differences. "And that's often a very difficult problem, because sex can be defined a number of ways."
    Quote:
    For many years, scientists believed that female development was the default programme, and that male development was actively switched on by the presence of a particular gene on the Y chromosome. In 1990, researchers made headlines when they uncovered the identity of this gene, which they called SRY. Just by itself, this gene can switch the gonad from ovarian to testicular development. For example, XX individuals who carry a fragment of the Y chromosome that contains SRY develop as males.

    By the turn of the millennium, however, the idea of femaleness being a passive default option had been toppled by the discovery of genes that actively promote ovarian development and suppress the testicular programme—such as one called WNT4. XY individuals with extra copies of this gene can develop atypical genitals and gonads, and a rudimentary uterus and Fallopian tubes. In 2011, researchers showed that if another key ovarian gene, RSPO1, is not working normally, it causes XX people to develop an ovotestis—a gonad with areas of both ovarian and testicular development.
    Quote:
    These discoveries have pointed to a complex process of sex determination, ... "It has been, in a sense, a philosophical change in our way of looking at sex; that it's a balance," ...
    Quote:
    According to some scientists, that balance can shift long after development is over. ... "That was the big shock, the fact that it was going on post-natally," ...
    Quote:
    But beyond this, there could be even more variation. Since the 1990s, researchers have identified more than 25 genes involved in DSDs, and next-generation DNA sequencing in the past few years has uncovered a wide range of variations in these genes that have mild effects on individuals, rather than causing DSDs. "Biologically, it's a spectrum," says Vilain.
    Quote:
    Many people never discover their condition unless they seek help for infertility, or discover it through some other brush with medicine. Last year, for example, surgeons reported that they had been operating on a hernia in a man, when they discovered that he had a womb. The man was 70, and had fathered four children.
    Quote:
    Biologists may have been building a more nuanced view of sex, but society has yet to catch up. True, more than half a century of activism from members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community has softened social attitudes to sexual orientation and gender. Many societies are now comfortable with men and women crossing conventional societal boundaries in their choice of appearance, career and sexual partner. But when it comes to sex, there is still intense social pressure to conform to the binary model.
    Quote:
    So if the law requires that a person is male or female, should that sex be assigned by anatomy, hormones, cells or chromosomes, and what should be done if they clash? "My feeling is that since there is not one biological parameter that takes over every other parameter, at the end of the day, gender identity seems to be the most reasonable parameter," says Vilain. In other words, if you want to know whether someone is male or female, it may be best just to ask.
    Posted 09-22-2021 at 08:03 AM by CSasha CSasha is offline

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