Why I Like it #2: Dominance

Dominance is kind of a weird subject for me to talk about and is kind of contradictory a little bit as to who I am. When I first joined getdare a long time ago, about six years to be precise, I had my first slave. She was a female from the UK, and I almost missed her as her e-mail appeared in my spam folder. I had her start a blog and put that on this site and a lot of people read it and automatically assumed that I was a dominant. That blog is still up today, and occasionally I visit it, even though she and I have parted ways, and the accompanying blog I wrote is now shut down. Now we fast forward to today in where since my first slave I have owned one sissy slave that lasted a couple months and a female slave, who turned out to be a liar, which lasted a little under a year. And of course I have my current male sissy slave, Alexis and she and I are still going strong coming up on three months together. And we come back to the fact that people think I am a dominant again
but once again that’s not who I am.

To put things into perspective I identify myself as a switch with submissive tendencies. This means of course that I can assume the role of a dominant and the role of a submissive fairly well but if I had to choose one of these I would be a submissive. That’s what I started as in my D/s journey so it makes sense that I would lean more strongly towards that. In the past I have served under some lovely women and also some not so lovely ones (abandonment issues), but that’s not what this entry is about.

Why do I love dominance, I was asked this question for the first time yesterday by someone, and I honestly didn’t know how to respond at first, as nobody had ever asked me this before. One thing you should know about me before I delve into this a bit more is that I am not your typical “Master” you find on this site. I am not your typical “use and abuse” Master. To me my slaves are precious and deserve to be treasured and cherished. So many Dominants I see seem to forget that those people who choose to submit to you gave you their submission to you as a privilege and like all privileges if you abuse it too much you lose it and/or won’t get the full benefit out of it. So when I get that privilege I respect my slave as a person and I develop a relationship with them so that in turn when I assign tasks or rules, those submitting to me will do these tasks because they want to please me because they know who I am, not because they fear what will happen if they don’t. A D/s relationship based solely on fear is not a healthy one in my personal opinion. That’s kind of why I identify myself as a “take care of and protect” you Master. You mess with one of my slaves, you mess with me. While I do seem pretty cool and collected right now, you do not want to mess with me when I’m angry. I don’t grant my slaves the privilege to see me when I am enraged. It’s not a pretty picture and I don’t want to accidentally take out my anger on them.

So back to the question of why do I love dominance, can be broken down into three main reasons. First off, being a Dominant kind of taps into my submissive nature. Yeah I know I seem like I just totally contradicted myself there but let me explain, and I’m going to use my princess Alexis as an example here. In my first entry about Alexis I said it didn’t seem like we were a good match because Alexis has two huge kinks: humiliation and loss of control. Generally speaking as a dominant I don’t really like these kinks too much and don’t know much about them. My extent of control usually only goes to a slave’s sexual life and their orgasms/masturbation and sometimes clothing control. But I don’t control when they go to bed, what they wear on a daily basis, when they can go pee etc. I usually let my pets on a very very long leash and let them live their lives. So why if I’m not into these two kinks have Alexis and I lasted this long? Well as I’m more inclined to being a submissive, I just, by instinct, love pleasing people. I usually don’t have a set game-plan when I go to dominating someone, I make tasks up as I go along and many times these rules/tasks pertain to a person’s kinks as well as incorporating some of my own likes as a dominant. No two slaves I own are going to have the same experience. My last slave didn’t like derogatory names but you can hear me calling Alexis slut, whore, or cunt on a daily basis because she likes humiliation.

My second reason, education. Even though I have very hard issues with my last slave, I have to use her in this example. A lot of slaves that I have owned have had a view that Dominants are very hard, they’re strict, they’re mean, they know what they want and they want it done no questions asked. Punishment is a norm just because they can and there is no respect for the slave as the Dominant is always right. My last slave came from a relationship that exhibited some of those qualities, however, I flipped her whole world upside down when she was under my care. Compassion and concern for a slave is not a foreign concept. I run my dominance in a certain way to show people that not all D/s relationship are as I described above. I want to teach people as to what, at least as I think, a healthy D/s relationship can be like.


Lastly I’m going to back to Alexis again. Now I would assume that if Alexis is dealing with a problem she’d mostly like go to her wife which is fine. When they married, they became partners, and each other’s best friend. So it’s natural and expected that they would talk about problems together. However, it has sometimes astounded Alexis that I can be so understanding about their relationship and am as concerned about them having a healthy relationship that lasts as much as she and her wife are. However, at the same time I believe Alexis thinks that she can come to me with anything as well, except for certain triggers that make me upset or sad and she’s learned to avoid those. Third point, I like to be a shelter/comfort to my slaves who just sometimes need someone to hold them and console them. I before said that I am a “take care of and protect” Master and if I’m truly honest with myself, those two factors are some of my most favorite parts about being a Dominant. But anyway I run my dominance to show that D/s relationship can be based on care, compassion, and protection instead of pain, fear, and disconcernment.

So three main points, I enjoy dominance because: I am able to bring joy and pleasure to people through it, I can educate people as to what a healthy D/s relationship can be like, and I can be shelter/comfort to my slaves when they need it. And I guess that’s all I’m going to say on this entry. Until next time…