Go Back   getDare Truth or Dare > Blogs > The Butterfly Effect

A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.

*Trigger Warning* To the person who sexually assaulted me

Posted 09-29-2018 at 07:38 PM by Butterfly

When we started to talk, I was in a vulnerable place. I felt isolated from my friends and family. I was in a bad relationship (but you didn't know that). I was looking for somebody to talk to, to confide in, to be friends with. I let my guard down.

I lied to you. I was not happy with my fiance. But I liked to protect myself. I didn't want to open myself up to the possibility of you getting the wrong idea. I was very clear with you that I was looking for friends only.

My fiance knew I was talking to you.

You were so great to talk to. We talked for hours through text. I turned you down three times before finally agreeing to meet you for coffee. You were such a gentleman. You didn't pressure me at all. I didn't see any of the signs of aggression. You never once brought up sex, or tried to flirt with me. At least I didn't notice.

I was nervous about meeting you, but I was lonely. My fiance was gone for the weekend and I was alone. I needed to get out of the empty house.

I agreed to drive to you since you were working that day. It was only about 20 minutes away, and we agreed to meet at a pretty busy coffee shop. I felt safe.

You smiled at me as you walked in and I knew from your picture that you were who I was meeting. We ordered our coffee and you touched my lower back as I ordered. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up at your touch. I should have left then.

But I am too nice and didn't want to be rude.

I sat across from you at the table and we started to talk. The first few minutes were innocent enough but then you started to flirt with me. I kept trying to steer the conversation in a different direction, but you would wink at me and hint at another sexual innuendo.

I drank my coffee as quickly as I could and made an excuse so that I could leave. I was feeling creeped out. I just wanted to be home.

I got up so quickly that I actually left my jacket behind. The parking lot was a lot less busy than when I got there. My car felt a million miles away. My heart was beating so fast that I didn't even hear you behind me.

I still wonder if it was a coincidence that you got a parking space beside me, or if you planned it that way from the beginning. As I went to open my driver side door, you blocked me in by opening the passenger side door of your car. I was instantly trapped.

I tried to laugh it off, but I was terrified. I thought it had to be a mistake. You were just trying to give me a hard time. But then your hands were around the back of my neck and you had my hair in your hands.

It happened so fast. I don't even know how you did it, but all of a sudden my face was in your lap and your cock was just inches from my face.

At first I didn't even resist. My heart was in my throat. I didn't know what to do. I was sure somebody would be able to see. But we were positioned perfectly so that nobody could anything behind your car door with the tinted windows.

You were calling me a Tease. You kept telling me how I wouldn't get away with leading you on. You kept calling me Baby.

I could feel your hands pulling at the waist of my jeans and that is when panic set in. I could handle the rest, but my clothes were my safety net. I couldn't let you take them off. I started to struggle against you. I am pretty sure my elbow connected with your face at some point. It just made you more aggressive.

Thankfully my knee got you in the crotch and your hands left my body to protect yourself. In that moment I was able to close your door enough and get in my own.

I was shaking so hard that I couldn't get the car started, but thankfully I was able to lock the door before you recovered enough and started banging on the window.

Before I even left the parking lot you were calling me. My phone was going crazy. In the 20 minutes it took me to get home, I had 200 notifications from you: voicemail, text messages, missed calls. I deleted them without reading, but I did notice that most of them were threats. You made it clear that if I told anybody, you would tell my fiance that I was cheating on him.

I was scared. When I reached home, it took me over an hour to leave the safety of my car. I ran into the house and closed the doors. I slept in my closet that night. Well, if you can call that sleeping.

I didn't tell anybody. I couldn't. My fiance already didn't trust me. He already looked through my cell phone records, credit card statements and even recorded the mileage on my car. I knew he would believe you. You were able to silence me with your threats. I wonder how you knew what buttons to push. I was very careful to not share that information, yet you knew exactly how to get what you wanted from me.

It took me months to get to a place where I could go out after dark alone. Months of nightmares, not being feeling safe outside of my house. Years of blaming myself for what happened, suffering in silence because I was too scared to share what happened that day.

You took so much from me that day.

I don't even know if you know it. I am probably not even a thought anymore. And that is good, I don't want you to be thinking about me. But I wish I could do the same. I wish I didn't have to think about you.

But I do.

You have also taught me a lot. You have taught me how strong I truly am. You have taught me how important it is not to keep silent; that sharing my story doesn't make me weak, but instead it makes me strong and brave. You have taught me that nobody is allowed to control my life (unless I allow them to). My fear cannot control me. I am the only person in control of my body, my life.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish this on anybody. I hope you rot in hell for what you have done to me, and what you have likely done to other girls. But I have learned a lot from this experience. I am in control of how this affects me. I can turn this into a positive. You did not break me. You made me stronger.
Views 2315 Comments 5
« Prev     Main     Next »
Total Comments 5

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    SlutPuppy's Avatar
    I love you so much! You are one of the strongest women I know and I'm so proud to call you my friend. I am here for you whenever you need me, to talk about anything. I know how hard it is to talk about this kind of thing, so thank you for talking about it, and sharing it so openly. <3
    Posted 09-30-2018 at 04:32 PM by SlutPuppy SlutPuppy is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SlutPuppy View Comment
    I love you so much! You are one of the strongest women I know and I'm so proud to call you my friend. I am here for you whenever you need me, to talk about anything. I know how hard it is to talk about this kind of thing, so thank you for talking about it, and sharing it so openly. <3
    Thank you! I love you too.
    Posted 09-30-2018 at 04:55 PM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  3. Old Comment
    LitDarkness's Avatar
    I couldn't read this all in one section so I took breaks in between.

    You are strong and you are amazing. And hell is too merciful for that person!
    Posted 09-30-2018 at 06:51 PM by LitDarkness LitDarkness is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Wedgiebondagebabe's Avatar
    I love you! I know you are amazingly strong. It is those that give everything to everyone else that truly are the strongest. We give so much to others so that no one can see how much we are hurting. I am always here to talk to even if I dont go on getDare alot and I still havent opened up kik. But I will tak to you whenever I can if you need me too. I love you.
    Posted 10-01-2018 at 07:49 AM by Wedgiebondagebabe Wedgiebondagebabe is offline
  5. Old Comment
    IceMaiden's Avatar
    I don't have anything to say here other than he sucks and is a vile human being and you are amazing and strong and I love you.
    Posted 10-12-2018 at 09:35 AM by IceMaiden IceMaiden is offline
 

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:02 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc. - Also check out Kink Talk!reptilelaborer