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Pet Peeves Part 2 (Responses appreciated)

Posted 01-05-2016 at 09:17 PM by alex_carter
Updated 01-05-2016 at 09:57 PM by alex_carter

Why is it that when people (especially girls) have pictures, videos, or audio as a limit people feel the need to ask them for pictures anyway?

I have recently been speaking with a few people, all of which were fine accepting all of my limits except pictures. After telling them that pictures are limits for a reason some of them stopped talking to me completely and others tried to get me to break the limit.

For those that stopped talking to me completely all I have to say is Ok then. If you aren't willing to accept my limits then fine, you probably aren't worth talking to anyway.

For the others, they've continued talking to me, and I proceeded to explain why pictures are a limit. Most conversations go a little something like this.

Me: I'm sorry, but pics are a limit.
Them: That's ok, but why are they a limit.
Me: I don't know you and internet safety is extremely important to me. You might say that you won't put pictures up anywhere, but what proof do I have. As soon as I send them you could turn around and post them.
Them: What are a few pictures going to hurt anyway?
Me: I have trust issues and don't even send pictures of myself to people I know in real life over text or anything and I don't put pictures of myself for others to see on facebook either.
Them: Well then what about if we get to know each other, will you still not send me pictures then?
Me: No, I won't. That is why pictures are a hard limit. If it will satisfy you, the most I will offer is a picture of either my hand or my foot with writing/drawing/etc of your choice on it to prove that I am real and that I'm really a girl.

At this point they either stop talking to me or accept and we continue talking (with no more pictures sent).

What I don't understand is why people don't understand the phrase "Limits are limits for a reason." and why they try to push the issue anyway.

Anyway, sorry for venting on you guys again, but I'm wondering if anyone else has been having this problem to and how do you react to it. Do you feel bad when you enforce your limits? I'm wondering this because, when I do enforce my limits when they are being challenged I feel bad. I feel like I've let the person down by not caving. I know though, that caving is letting myself down and can be dangerous for me, so in short... How do you deal with the feelings that are created when your limits are challenged?

If you made it all the way to the end here, thank you for taking the time to read my non-sense. I really hope you will also take the time to comment.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Ravenwood's Avatar
    People should always, and I mean always, respect other peoples limits. I also don't give pictures and often get flak for it, but a sense of security is better than some dominant who only wants you so they can see your body. End Rant. Did this qualify as a rant? Oh I'm rambling. End Ramble. "woof" (sorry one of my pm dares)
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 12:06 AM by Ravenwood Ravenwood is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Sasahara's Avatar
    I don't experience this, as both a male and a Dom, but I've heard this lament from many people over my time on this site. And I totally agree with you. Hard limits are *never* to be broken. Even if pictures aren't on someone's limit list, I generally say "I'm going to assume pics are a limit for you unless you tell me differently". Because internet safety is hugely important, and you don't want to have something come back to bite you later...

    So stick to your guns, and know that not *everyone* is an a-hole about this...
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 04:55 AM by Sasahara Sasahara is offline
  3. Old Comment
    MeisterRebus's Avatar

    why are we always....

    ...talking of nude pictures? I like to talk about harmless ones, like fully clothed ones or pictures of your underwear laying on your bed. So your Master can choose what he will dress you in tomorrow.
    Is this a problem too? Because then we open the doors for all fakes that pretend to be girls and are guys in reality.
    Example? I sent some dares to a member (pretended female), she was on a trip to Hawaii (??) and made a stop in San Francisco. I asked her "what kind of underwear do you take on your vacation, what bikinis? Send me a picture of your thongs so i can choose what you will wear tomorrow for the flight". Problem? I never got an answer, the conversation was over. Because she simply did not have to show any undies....because it was a guy.

    So yes, I like pics too (I am a professional photographer and have taken more pics of nude girls then you could probably mail me) because they can prove very quickly if you are what you pretend to be. Sorry, I am straight and I don't want to have a male slave. And in the age of zillions of selfies these days, don't tell me that a fully clothed picture poses any problem.
    If this is the case, then you are registered at the wrong website. This is a kinky place and yes, nudity may occur.
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 09:52 AM by MeisterRebus MeisterRebus is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    Sometimes a fully clothed photo or photos of objects can still be a big deal for people. I don't mind taking photos of art I've created or food I've made. I like sharing those things but when it comes to items like my clothes, it gets personal. Especially my panties
    I also have huge self esteem issues. I hate my body and it has taken a lot of courage for me to start posting photos of it. Even on facebook, I scrutinize the photo for a long time before I decide to post it. It might not be a big deal to you, but for various reasons it can be a huge deal for somebody else. I understand not wanting to play with somebody who is male if you are straight but there are other ways to prove it if pictures are a limit.

    Limits should always be respected and if for some reason a limit is a deal breaker then you need to accept you aren't a match and move on, not try to break that persons limits. If a doms main fetish or interest is spanking and the subs limit is impact play, the relationship just may not work. Nobody owes anybody an explanation as to why a limit is a limit. You can ask but you can't expect an answer and can't argue with them. Limits are limits.
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 10:52 AM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  5. Old Comment
    MeisterRebus's Avatar
    if this is the case, that a fully clothed picture can be a big deal for somebody, then please explain to me why we have zillions of selfies appearing every day at twitter, facebook and co. Never ever a flood of pictures just rushed over us like the one we know now. Nudes where ever you look. Boobs galore, unstoppable.

    But when it's about your undies (not the used ones, the fresh ones) or about your hands (with long fingernails?) or about your face (that you published in social networks more then a hundred times) then suddenly it's -- understandable shyness?
    Sorry, I can not agree on this one. Can you explain to me why almost all male slaves are happy to send pictures and why most female slaves are not? I would be curious to know. Because it's the same females clogging up those selfie-sites with their digital output.
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 11:00 AM by MeisterRebus MeisterRebus is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    I did post an explanation about the difference between twitter and Facebook and a site like this on your own blog as well. But I will end the conversation here by saying that not everybody is the same and so I can only answer for what is true to me, a female sub. But I might point out that girls are preyed on more often than guys on social media. There is also double standards that exist for girls and guys. Like I stated, I do understand some of your frustration but was just trying to point out some of the reasons some people are hesitant or have pictures as limits. It is different for each person. For me it is a safety issue (and the safety of my relationships and career) as well as a self image issue.
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 11:07 AM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  7. Old Comment
    naughtylittlegirl's Avatar
    I used to feel bad, but not any more. Wardell was a significant influence there because he showed me domination with care and respect, where I was free to be myself and not obligated to please anyone. I got to please because I wanted to, not because of demands or requirements; I was desired because of who I am, not because I fulfilled someone's fantasy and provided wank material. Limits don't need to be a big fight - if my limits exclude your desires, we are incompatible and ought to amicably part ways and continue our respective lives like mature adults. Some people are not developed enough to be on the grown-up sites yet, and I am so sorry you have to deal with them.

    Everyone has the right to be themselves, to not have to defend themselves against the desires of another, to not have to argue against over-generalizations, to not have to remind people that individuals are unique and not bound by the demands of a random self-named dominant on the internet.

    I tend to either mock them, or send them gay porn, or sometimes I'd ask Wardell to deal with them when they were getting to be too much. Kittenlyss likes to eat them, I'm sure she'd enjoy some trolls. I also have a huge file of gifs and pics reserved for jerks. And sometimes I just block and spend my time with those who deserve it instead.

    Most of all, please remember you are wonderful just as you are, there is absolutely nothing unreasonable or wrong or unhealthy about your limits, you deserve the very best and that includes people who respect and even encourage your limits so you are in the best place you can be, and those who push are either ignorant or abusive to some degree, neither of which makes them any kind of authority in your life or anyone else's.
    Posted 01-06-2016 at 02:26 PM by naughtylittlegirl naughtylittlegirl is offline
  8. Old Comment
    on one hand, i understand the desire for pics. It is visually stimulating, and proof, undeniably, that what was dared was done.

    on the other hand, I have a huge respect for privacy.
    In the few dare PMs I have sent out, I have only asked for pics twice, and only because both did not have it listed in their limits.
    even then, I made it clear: i accept no as an answer.

    I wish some people would be more willing to share something, and I'm sure there are some kinds of pics that can be taken that can not possibly be traced back...but at the same time, I think that whether anyone wishes to do that or not is ultimately up to them, no matter how long we've talked.
    Posted 04-27-2016 at 10:45 PM by ksoma ksoma is offline
  9. Old Comment
    RainbowSky's Avatar
    Like many pictures are a limit for me too. And similarly I get asked why or will you just send me one and the answer quite honestly is no.

    Yes I may post pictures of myself on facebook, but unlike a site like this Facebook is much more private. The people on my Facebook are my friends, people I know and have met me in person (or work collegues I'm due to meet in about 8 weeks). They already know what I look like, they know my hobbies so when I post a photo of me performing in a dance show there's no need for me to feel worried or ashamed.

    I obviously feel uncomfortable with nude pictures but even clothed ones to 'prove who you are' bother me. What's to say that you won't post it somewhere else with a description of tasks/dares/reports that I provide and someone I know finding it and realising. This part of my life is private and not something I want to suddenly find flaring up across the Internet. What's to stop you using that image of me and tracking down my social media - things I prefer to keep private to my friends only? There is absolutely nothing. That's why pictures of all sorts are a limit.

    I get you want proof of who I am, but even clothed proof can't necessarily provide that so I don't see why it matters. I write good reports on things - give details I'd only know if I had actually completed it. We all think we know how a girls body works or how a guys does but honestly - unless you are that gender and that individual person you really don't because everyone reacts differently. If you're faking your gender it's obvious because the things you say and write don't match up to what would really be experienced. So reports should tell you enough about the person. If you've watched too much porn to think what you are being told is a reality then that's your own fault, when you get lied to and believe it.
    Posted 04-27-2016 at 11:55 PM by RainbowSky RainbowSky is offline
  10. Old Comment
    LitDarkness's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MeisterRebus View Comment
    if this is the case, that a fully clothed picture can be a big deal for somebody, then please explain to me why we have zillions of selfies appearing every day at twitter, facebook and co. Never ever a flood of pictures just rushed over us like the one we know now. Nudes where ever you look. Boobs galore, unstoppable.

    But when it's about your undies (not the used ones, the fresh ones) or about your hands (with long fingernails?) or about your face (that you published in social networks more then a hundred times) then suddenly it's -- understandable shyness?
    Sorry, I can not agree on this one. Can you explain to me why almost all male slaves are happy to send pictures and why most female slaves are not? I would be curious to know. Because it's the same females clogging up those selfie-sites with their digital output.
    Believe it or not, I don't post pictures of myself to social media. Some females are actually really shy with pics.

    Because social media is with friends most of the time, people you know.

    And since social media has people's pictures, this means if someone they know etc is on here, they could recognize them from their pictures.

    Male slaves have less to lose, no one cares about a male on a porn site... There's a million of them to a few girls.

    Their picture isn't going to get shared and no one cares if a male is into sexual stuff.

    If a female is into sexual stuff, a lot of people care and it's sad to say but if one sexual photo of a female is out there, it affects their chances of jobs etc.

    And I met plenty of male slaves who do not share pictures, it is more common then you think.

    Not all females are the same and not all of us post photos to social media.

    -------
    As for the blog, I agree it's annoying when people try to change the limit, I really have it for a reason and even though I will give you a verification of my gender through a pic of my hand or something with some kind of writing or something, I'd rather not.

    I don't like how people think they're magic and can get me to share pictures.

    It happens rarely and I found even with people I trust, I'd rather share no pictures of my body at all.

    I don't like it and I fear I'll be recognized as unliklry as that is.
    Posted 04-28-2016 at 11:12 AM by LitDarkness LitDarkness is offline
  11. Old Comment
    MasterDaddy02's Avatar
    The term "limits for pictures," should truly say it all.
    1. Respect there wishes.
    2. It is there right to set those limits.
    3. No one has that right to question them about it.
    4. Pictures can get into the wrong hands and can cause major damage to a person on here.
    5. Privacy is that right of everyone who is on this website.
    6. Don't push the issue with the person.
    7. So many, don't understand that big word "NO," and still must push. So, then shame on you in showing you don't truly respect the other person.
    8. Pictures, for so many is there identity.

    In closing, what is more important! The friendship of a person on here or those pictures of them? Stop and think about that!
    Posted 04-30-2016 at 10:53 AM by MasterDaddy02 MasterDaddy02 is offline
  12. Old Comment
    justJane's Avatar
    I just read this and I have to say some of these responses were amazing and show exactly why I like this site so much!

    I generally just stop talking to anyone who is trying to pressure me into sending pictures and I don't feel badly about it at all. My friends and I call the feeling you get when someone is doing that to you 'rapey feelings'... I think that says it all. Anyone trying to pressure or coerce you for pictures (or breaking any limit in that way) is showing you exactly what kind of person they are and how much respect they have for you, and that's the kind of person I want to stay very far away from and I don't really care if that hurts their feelings.
    Posted 04-30-2016 at 11:49 AM by justJane justJane is offline
 

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