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If you're going to watch porn...

Posted 11-08-2015 at 01:32 PM by kittenlyss
Updated 01-06-2016 at 03:15 PM by kittenlyss

Follow the rules!

My roommates wanted to watch porn... together. Like a social activity.

We all settled down and I got a couch all to myself (woohoo!)

They put Pirates on. The A/C was on high and I got cold, so I snuggled under the blanket. The porn was boring1 and I was tired, so I stretched out on the couch, rolled over, and pulled the blanket up to my chin. Naptime, bitches.

Apparently, I had committed a major faux pas of social porn watching. I was informed that THERE ARE RULES TO WATCHING PORN WITH FRIENDS.
-Hands must be visible at all times (not in a "let us see you masturbate" way)
-If you leave the room, do NOT come back. Yeah, even if you went to the bathroom. Don't lie. You weren't peeing. You were masturbating. And that's just weird.
Also, I'm super glad that I now have plenty of friends who would totally not shame me for masturbating to porn... or taking a much needed nap.

1I'm not saying it was bad porn. Porn in general doesn't do much for me.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    drwarschauu's Avatar
    I had no idea there were rules for watching porn with friends! I don't have any friends in my place to do that with... But it's good to know, just in case it happens!

    What did the pirates get up to? How was the character development?
    Posted 11-08-2015 at 02:35 PM by drwarschauu drwarschauu is offline
  2. Old Comment
    naughtylittlegirl's Avatar
    Huh. The more you know...

    I hope you had a good nap. And I recommend Pirates of the Caribbean. Orlando Bloom is nice to look at, and frankly I enjoy the sarcasm and Depp's acting way more than porn.
    Posted 11-08-2015 at 02:51 PM by naughtylittlegirl naughtylittlegirl is offline
  3. Old Comment
    kittenlyss's Avatar
    @Dwarf: I didn't either! That's why I thought it might be best to make a PSA. (I think it probably only applies to vanilla friends though) I told the same story to some other friends and they were shocked. They were under the impression that you were supposed to masturbate to porn.

    And I'm not quite sure what the pirates did or how the character development was... but my nap was really awesome.

    @Belle: I can definitely agree that I enjoyed the actual Pirates of the Caribbean better than porn.
    Posted 11-08-2015 at 02:54 PM by kittenlyss kittenlyss is offline
  4. Old Comment
    7Clubs's Avatar
    It makes you wonder; just who was it that took the time to sit down and come up with these rules?
    Posted 11-09-2015 at 05:54 AM by 7Clubs 7Clubs is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Shadowice's Avatar
    I would be embarrassed out of my mind to watch porn with friends. It would be awkward as could be and if it wasn't someone would make sure to make it awkward my friends are good at that. Although we did watch kneecoleslaw humping a giant teddy bear once. Mostly because it was a challenge to find the video after someone said the twitch streamer used to be a cam girl. The one who was watching her stream had no idea so we watched and laughed even though it showed pretty much nothing at all.
    Posted 11-09-2015 at 10:07 AM by Shadowice Shadowice is offline
  6. Old Comment
    DoingMyBest's Avatar
    For me, and this is me personally not a recommendation or indictment, porn isn't for watching with friends. Unless it's for a humour factor (as in funny porn or a blooper or something).

    But I think it's rude of them to dictate that kinda thing. Saying no masturbating is fair enough, but you weren't... And if you leave, no return? Seriously? I mean... Just... Huh?

    And there I was thinking that normal social situations were convoluted! :P
    Posted 11-10-2015 at 08:49 AM by DoingMyBest DoingMyBest is offline
  7. Old Comment
    kittenlyss's Avatar
    @7Clubs: I think a large number people are embarrassed by sexuality. And our culture has bred an odd detachment on certain things. It's perfectly fine to watch people you don't know do sex things on screen. You can all talk about (and mock) them together. But to see a non-sexual acquaintance do something so intimate as masturbate would just be awkward.

    @shadowice0823: You do blush easily. I want gummy bear porn... If you find that, you would be my hero.

    @Bangle: I have since watched more porn with friends. And now I know I only find it awkward if they do. Funny porn is good though... The Humper Games was a little mundane for me, but the Donald Trump parody porn... OMG! It may have been so funny because they didn't have to exaggerate much. Although I do think if you're going to go far enough to watch porn in a group setting, making a no masturbating rule is dumb. But now I have other friends... If I leave during the porn, it's probably to use the playroom and no one bats an eye. And, YES, people shouldn't put these extra complicated weird social situations in front of me without explaining them in detail. I need to hire an etiquette secretary to handle my social interactions.
    Posted 11-15-2015 at 11:35 PM by kittenlyss kittenlyss is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Happy Me's Avatar
    I have watched porn with friends on many occasions somehow, and never really found it awkward, but there also weren't weird social rules l don't think?
    One time for a huge party we set up a sexy room, coated the whole thing in fabric and pillows, set condoms and snacks on a table and ran porn in there during the entire party. It was awesome! The whole party was awesome though... A costume party for Valentine's Day, "come as your favorite jilted lover."
    Posted 11-15-2015 at 11:44 PM by Happy Me Happy Me is offline
  9. Old Comment
    kittenlyss's Avatar
    @Happy Me: That sounds amazing! And, yeah, I don't find watching porn with friends the least bit awkward now that there aren't strange rules (rules that say I can't cuddle or has naps are not kitty friendly rules.
    Posted 11-16-2015 at 12:00 AM by kittenlyss kittenlyss is offline
 

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