Spread Love, Not Hate Please

Today was the first day that Sam and I experienced some hate speech during our wedding planning. Now, hate speech isn’t something new to either of us. We have heard people make snarky comments to our face and even behind our backs...I can’t even count on my hands how many times I have been told that I am going to Hell. (But so be it, if I live the rest of my life happy, I’m fine with being sent to Hell!) Anyway, Sam and I are used to the rude remarks and facial expressions but I have never gotten visibly upset until today.

Sam and I had decided to go shopping for wedding decorations today since I would be in Argentina for the next week and a half and we wanted to spend some time together. We live in the city and we generally walk everywhere since we don’t have a car. The bus system offers free rides to college students as long as the present a Campus I.D. but they are limited on just how far we can go off campus. Since a bus wouldn’t take us across the city, we decided to call for an Uber. We had never previously ridden with the Uber system but after today’s experience, I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty that we will never again. Sam had called for a driver and we waited around for a little while. To start, the Uber took a little longer than the estimated time of arrival that it stated on the phone...understandable with traffic and we weren’t upset. We got in the back seat of the car and the driver introduced himself. He was very friendly in the beginning of his conversation. He introduced himself, made a few jokes about the traffic, and commented on my shirt, which was a campus shirt, asking us if we attended the University and what we were studying in. It wasn’t until he had asked us where we were planning on going when things got weird. We told him to take us to a craft outlet on the other side of town so we could go shopping for wedding decorations.

He smiled, “Ah, Who’s the lucky girl getting married?”.
Sam and I looked at each other and smirked, “We are getting married” I said, grabbing her hand in mine. Through the rearview mirror, I could see that he raised his eyebrows and slightly nodded his head but he didn’t say anything else, instead, he waited for an opening in traffic and joined the traffic. A little time passed and the driver decided to speak again (huge mistake on his behalf). “So, how old are you two? You look a little young to be getting married.” I noticed that his tone of voice had changed from the earlier conversation. His voice wasn’t as friendly...it was almost cold like he was just trying to force a conversation. I told him how we had grown up together and started dating senior year in high school, and I told him that one of the main reasons that I was taking her hand in marriage was for her mother, so her mother could walk down the aisle with her daughter before she passes away. Sam was a little mad that I shared so much detail so maybe I am partially to blame for the whole incident as well. After I finished my story, the driver nodded his head but didn’t say anything. Again, he let another minute pass before he opened his mouth. “God has a different way to punish all of his sinners.”

I couldn’t believe what I had heard. The driver had told the both of us to our face that we were the reason for the illness of Sam’s mother; that this was some sort of punishment that God was delivering because Sam and I are happy together. I was visibly shaken. I don’t get the urge to punch people in the face that often but I wanted to land my fist right between his eyes so fricking badly. We asked to be let out and he started to apologize but pulled over to the curb anyway and let us out. I left him a $5 bill on the back seat even though the cost of the ride was much more...he is lucky he even got $5 from me. We walked the rest of the way all the way to the outlet mall.
I just don’t understand. Like, how can a human be that so inconsiderate and cold? How can you even tell somebody that and act like it wasn’t offense? I don’t get it...but unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of it. Besides the numerous disgusting facial expressions we got from other customers, another man decided that it would be a great idea if he would open his big mouth. Sam and I happened to be in the “same-sex” section of a wedding craft store browsing over all the different rainbow-colored decorations and an older man and his wife passed us. He shook his head and spoke to his wife, loud enough that we could hear, “What the hell is wrong with this world?”, glancing back over his shoulder to make sure we heard him.

So let me start with this. For all the people that feel the urge to tell me that I don’t know who I am, that I am disgusting, that I will be taking the pleasant road down to Hell, or even telling me that people like me are what is wrong with this world; I want you to know something....This is who I am.

I was the girl that learned what heartache was and how much of a person it can steal at a young age. The girl who found herself looking at other females at thirteen while all my friends were chasing boys. Just like most teenage girls, I was pressured to conform and be like the other girls. “Just be normal, Lia!” I always told myself when I was younger. Yes, I was lost a time or two but now I am a nineteen-year-old woman that knows staying through the hard times is what counts. That leaving or walking way from life when things get a little hard does not make things easier, rather it leaves you with a terrible sense of regret and “what ifs” that will devour a person’s mind and body piece by piece. I am a woman who knows that I want a woman by my side. (One specific woman). My commitment to this woman will never change. I have never been more certain about any other decision I have made in my lifetime. Therefore, I feel the need to say that I am not only proud of my sexuality, I am proud of who I am as a person and the obstacles that I have overcome. I am content with my mistakes and I am well aware of them. So before anyone decides to try and tell me I don’t know who I am or what I am doing or that I am the reason that humanity is spinning downwards, take a long look at yourself in the mirror and maybe you’ll realize the mistakes you made and the impact they have had on your life, but also that you have the control one whether to make those mistakes into positives or keep them as negatives. I have decided to allow my mistakes to have an incredibly positive impact on my life. While you look yourself over in the mirror, maybe you’ll realize that you’ve lost your way and your only way back is to be accepted. You see, that is all I ask...to be accepted. If you can’t do that, then shun me, don’t shun the person I love. Shun me and sit back and watch from afar as I show who I am proudly in a way so bold that it can’t be denied or unnoticed. I am who I am and I am not afraid.

Most humans just want to find love and happiness in one way or another and if that’s with someone of the same sex, why does it matter? They’re happy and their happiness doesn’t affect your life at all. Look back in history and recall when people freaked out over interracial marriage. Yeah, the people against same sex will look just as ridiculous and foolish as those people in a few years.

Sorry for the rant, it wasn’t directed at anyone on here. Writing helps relieve emotions so I thought I’d write.

Spread love, not hate.


~Love,
Lia