On control
I'm curious to see how many people like me are out there. I have always been fiercely independent. I pride myself on being able to take care of myself completely, without help from anyone. I tend to exert control over every aspect of my life, which I think is largely because I have issues about appearing to be anything less than perfect to everyone.
I don't like to leave the house without looking my best. In high school I graduated in the top ten in my class and in college I've striven for academic excellence as well as a positive campus reputation- I've interned and worked for several different departments on campus, taken multiple leadership opportunities as they arrive for me, and I joined one of the top-tier sororities in an effort to meet other people like me. At work, I've received two promotions over the past six months and have worked really hard to network with my boss and the rest of the corporate hierarchy. All of this is not to brag about myself, but show that I work really hard to maintain absolute control over both myself and other people's perceptions of me.
When it comes to sex and the bedroom, however, I am submissive. I like to be told what to do. I like to not have control over anything. I think it's because in my daily life, I work so hard to control everything that it becomes a thrill for me to give it up- similar to the feeling of being on a roller coaster. I like to be tied up because I physically can't stop anything happening to me. I like to be blindfolded so I can't even see it coming. I like dirty talk. I like to be called names. I enjoy pain and submission and I like to not have control over everything.
In a way, it calms me to not have to worry about control. I suppose this is the part that separates me from more dominant personalities. I find peace in relinquishing control where others find peace in claiming it. Sometimes, my daily life gets so hectic that I crave the release of being submissive for a night. It's something my boyfriend and I are working on exploring, and it's something that I know he will enjoy as time goes on because he's the kind of person who craves control at all times. It's funny how people can be so different and still so in sync, and I love knowing that there's a person out there who can provide me with what I need at the same time as I can provide him with what he needs.
I don't like to leave the house without looking my best. In high school I graduated in the top ten in my class and in college I've striven for academic excellence as well as a positive campus reputation- I've interned and worked for several different departments on campus, taken multiple leadership opportunities as they arrive for me, and I joined one of the top-tier sororities in an effort to meet other people like me. At work, I've received two promotions over the past six months and have worked really hard to network with my boss and the rest of the corporate hierarchy. All of this is not to brag about myself, but show that I work really hard to maintain absolute control over both myself and other people's perceptions of me.
When it comes to sex and the bedroom, however, I am submissive. I like to be told what to do. I like to not have control over anything. I think it's because in my daily life, I work so hard to control everything that it becomes a thrill for me to give it up- similar to the feeling of being on a roller coaster. I like to be tied up because I physically can't stop anything happening to me. I like to be blindfolded so I can't even see it coming. I like dirty talk. I like to be called names. I enjoy pain and submission and I like to not have control over everything.
In a way, it calms me to not have to worry about control. I suppose this is the part that separates me from more dominant personalities. I find peace in relinquishing control where others find peace in claiming it. Sometimes, my daily life gets so hectic that I crave the release of being submissive for a night. It's something my boyfriend and I are working on exploring, and it's something that I know he will enjoy as time goes on because he's the kind of person who craves control at all times. It's funny how people can be so different and still so in sync, and I love knowing that there's a person out there who can provide me with what I need at the same time as I can provide him with what he needs.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Yes, I know precisely what you mean.
I get a unique sense of freedom when I submit, particularly to my Dom because of the trust between us. It sometimes feels intensely counter-intuitive, given the habits and even instincts I've developed in the rest of my life, to give up control and even just to involve someone else in handling certain things.
I think one of the most incredible things is that I virtually stumbled into this aspect of submission. I had no idea it would be like this, but I was found by the most wonderful Dom and...yes, I can identify with much of what you wrote
Posted 07-27-2015 at 10:22 PM by naughtylittlegirl 
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Oh! Oh! *raises hand* Me too. I read this yesterday and got busy and didn't comment. I am also really a LOT like you describe, and submitting is a woonnnddderrrfffuuulll stress release.Posted 07-28-2015 at 06:59 AM by Happy Me
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This is absolutely on of the keys to my submissive nature. I can finally relax!! I can just follow orders, or experience sensations. I can stop calculating and worrying about all of the variables in all of the things around me. I over bondage and blackmail and other forms of strict control that makes me genuinely feel that I have as little say in a situation as can be done safely because the more control I have, the more my mind works and the less I relax and enjoy the experiences and sensations that are happening.Posted 08-01-2015 at 05:50 PM by Alexis Rune
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It's so refreshing to find others that articulate how I feel! I'm new to being a sub. Can relate to being in control over every aspect of my educational and professional life and to being a perfectionist in everything I do. I expect more of myself than others do and can also be very critical of myself when I fall short of my expectations. I want to be dominated completely in the bedroom! My H of 20 years does not relate. Additionally, after an accident 5 years ago he is unable to hold an erection. I'm currently in two online relationships with men who you with being Dominant but wish I could find a true/experienced Dom. Thank you for your post.
Posted 08-03-2015 at 06:40 PM by Lolo37
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I know I am a bit late with my comment, but I wanted to say that I am the same way! I do everything I can to stay in control of my everyday life. I have a hard time listening to others tell me what to do. I am independent, and like things my way. I like to organize, color code, plan. I am in control.
But sometimes it gets to be too much and I need a break, and that is when I crave submission the most. I need to know that I am going to walk into that bedroom and not have to worry about anything. It is almost like being dominated is a big fluffy blanket that is wrapped around me and blocks out the rest of the world. It is a vacation from my own world. And it is wonderful.
Thank you for posting this.Posted 08-13-2015 at 08:11 PM by Butterfly
