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Transition and Passing

Posted 08-23-2021 at 02:54 AM by Cassandra

So I went for my second vaccination shot today. When I was on my way out, I wanted to go the toilet. There were two, one for men and one for women, on opposite sides of the hall. They were pointed out by signs, one for the local and one pointing to where to find the other. So when I was checking if this was the men's toilet, I was confused since both signs, men and women, were displayed, only with different pointers.

Then, while checking to make sure I was right, an official bystander to guide the people, asked me if I was looking for the women's toilet. BINGO!!! He had made me happy for some time.

I'd say I had passing, even if only for a second. That person obviously didn't perceive me as a man despite being only few meters away.

I am not as often or as much bothered about being labeled as a man as most transgender people I got to know. It can be a real, long-lasting, often occurring pain for them.

I think I can say I am currently in transition. It's a term actually used by transgender persons, so people who transition from being perceived as male to being perceived as female (MtF for Male to Female), or vice versa (FtM for Female to Male). I write 'perceived' as everyone determines themselves what gender they identify with. I have heard from so many transgender how early in their childhood they noticed the gender they really are, right away, in retrospective, and often enough even confirmed by their parents. Don't think or say any person was another gender unless dare to probably offend them, even if you are speaking about their past. (If they say so themselves, then that's how it is.)
For transgender people, that might include outing (telling people how you really think and feel despite probable intolerance and discrimination), legal processes like a name change or official sex change (I chose 'sex' instead of gender here due to the term 'sex assignment'), and any medical treatment chosen, like hormone replacement therapy (the official term), top surgery/mastectomy, bottom surgery (plenty of terms here), or beauty surgery (up to changing bones).

My current goal is to transition to an androgynous look disabling others to label me any of the two main genders. I suppose to do so via shifting towards being perceived as female and then finding a balance in between.
I am not sure about getting official 'diverse', a third option to be labeled in Germany, as the process requires support by doctors or therapists.

I am non-binary. That means I don't identify neither as man/only male nor as woman/only female. I neither know my sex chromosomes nor my average or current hormone levels. I do have testicles and a penis. I have long hair, already receding hair lines. I was able to reduce my beard but there still remains a significant beard shadow except for the sideburns. Due to being indoor, my face was covered with a mask though.

My body is not athletic and I even have a slight fat belly, no fat tits though, and a significantly wide pelvis.

Also, I am wearing mostly female clothes for over two years now, from underwear to shirt, jeans, hoodies, and hairbands, even shoes. No skirts or dresses, no clearly female tops, no belly-free (so far), no bras, no heels (I prefer flat trekking shoes). I have and wear way more mono colored and multicolored clothes now, including pink.

I trained the female spectrum of my voice, less the pitch but mainly resonance spaces and softness, see Transvoice lessons if you are interested. I haven't made using it a habit though, and I haven't checked on feedback how much I am convincing when using it. It clearly breaks down when I use it longer.
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