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Dr. Cass replies: I get messaged by random people

Posted 09-30-2019 at 01:47 AM by CSasha
Updated 02-05-2020 at 05:54 PM by CSasha

Hello friends and readers,

There's another problem I like to speak about: getting spammed by random people.

I don't mean getting stalked via message after message by the same person, in which case you should contact the mods if blocking that user doesn't solve it.


I think there's not one miracle solution to it. And even if, I don't have it. All I can do is offer my thoughts. People are people, or maybe trolls, especially on the internet. Let's talk about how we can improve the situation step by step.


Disclaimer: no offense intended to anyone.

No offense intended to anyone who feels bad because you are being spammed. You have every right to feel that way. You are in your own unique situation and perspective, so what might work for me might not work for you.
The things I offer you to do is not because any of this is your fault, but because your behavior is the one you are in most control of. Changing other people's behavior, moderation, and the society takes cooperative effort of groups of people over a long period of time.
Feel free to share your experience, perspective, and advice in a constructive way in the comment section. I'd highly appreciate that.

And no offense intended, even if you might be one those people messaging strangers, I assume you have your reasons and no bad intentions about it all, hopefully.


I mean frequently getting messages from random users way over your comfort. I guess the message volume I get is on a low level, and it's above none because of my avatar and my activities. So here's what I do. I ...

- don't answer. But more important, I am aware that I don't have to.

- block them. I rarely do that because of the effort

- share my experience. As you can see, I even blog about the issue. It might not do much against the problem, but it's already a big relief and help for me.

- remind myself. They don't know better. Yes, they obviously don't care much about what I want and don't want. Poor people. I have to take care of myself though, draw the line and be safe. I need to release my anger in a constructive or at least not harmful way, especially to myself. I need to relief my tears and sadness. I might need to take a break, keep my distance, distract myself, do myself something good and recover. And then come back to enjoy my friends here and other people with good manners.




I could report them if I think they went too far. Or at least, I could ask my friends or friendly mods what they think. Is it too much or am I sensitive here? You won't think how much we think we have to cope with versus what others think we should have to. There are rules and code of conducts in place, including here on getDare.


I could change my avatar, set gender and maybe even my name. I am still who I am without exposing it in my details. Unfortunately, certain people assume a lot of facts because of them, possibly the right to annoy you. People who are interested in me, will find these details in my blog entries, comments, and forum posts. That means they committed to reading stuff, which is way more the people I like to attract.


I could modify my signature, and include something like this in big bold letters:
I will ignore any private message!
or
Post in the forum if you want me to take you serious. Message me to be ignored, blocked, and possibly reported instead.


Just my two cents this time
Posted in getDare issues
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    sexyred92's Avatar
    Sigs don't work too well I have I will ignore you if I don't know you. Still get tons. Maybe it needs to be bigger. 😂😂 but I just delete them. After laughing at them of course.
    Posted 09-30-2019 at 05:42 AM by sexyred92 sexyred92 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    CSasha's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing your experience. I assumed the sigs wouldn't work that well. I am happy you take it with humor at least.
    Posted 09-30-2019 at 06:17 AM by CSasha CSasha is offline
  3. Old Comment
    joeeoj's Avatar
    Thank you for helping me very much with your blogs! I appreciate that , i wont forget!
    Posted 10-01-2019 at 04:37 AM by joeeoj joeeoj is offline
 

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