So FUCKING frustrated

This is a bit of a personal tangent because I don't know anyone on this website personally so I don't feel guilty or inhibited by expressing my thoughts and feelings here. I know no one reading this will judge me for it, and if someone does, it's not going to make a difference to me.

I'm a bartender and a server. I'm also in college and about to graduate in the winter. And these past few months have been going pretty great for me. I've been promoted a couple times at work, I've been doing relatively well in my classes, all the good stuff. But school is about to start again and it's been a rough few weeks at work lately and my anxiety is through the roof right now and I don't know what else to do but rant.

College has so not prepared me to get a job. I chose a major I'm really passionate about, but it's so broad and there are so many different concentrations within the major that it's impossible for the department to give us students any real guidance on how to get a job after we graduate. I'm graduating in five months and I don't even know where to start looking for a job. And even if I did, and I managed to find a job in my chosen field, I wouldn't know how to perform that job at all. On top of that, there's no guarantee I'll even be able to get a job since most of the job postings I've been looking at online require so many years experience working in a similar field, and I have no experience working in any field other than the service industry. I'm pretty confident in myself and my ability to talk myself up, but talk can only do so much. It's going to become pretty apparent really fast that I don't know what I'm doing to any potential employer and I'm scared. out. of. my. mind. that I will end up with thousands of dollars in debt from my student loans with no way to pay it off.

On top of that, I had a shift today that made me feel like I shouldn't be serving or bartending at all anymore because I suck so horribly at it. I know I'm not a bad server or bartender and I know it was just a rough day but I can't get the feeling out of my head. I felt way overwhelmed and like I was doing nothing right and it makes me not want to go back to work tomorrow. I feel like I'm drowning and no one can help me because no one can see how bad it is.

And then when I took myself to dinner tonight to try to ease some of this anxiety, some pervert had the nerve to grab my ass and leer at me as I was trying to eat. He tried to make conversation with me the entire time even though I was very clear in that I didn't want to talk to him and he very nearly followed me out to my car after my meal. I felt violated, and not in the good way. On top of a terrible day, this was the last thing I needed, and if I hadn't been feeling so insecure at the time, I would have personally told him off and gotten help from either management or the police, but as it was, I felt so worthless after my terrible shift that I just accepted it and left, which has me now thinking that I'm even more pathetic than I did earlier.

My best friend now lives 400 miles away. My boyfriend is too far away to be able to help right now. I am well aware of my own worth. I know this is all in my head. I know this is just chronic depression and anxiety acting up in the face of such extreme stress. But I can't seem to knock myself out of it this time.