Just The Beginning
Posted 04-04-2018 at 12:35 AM by pixi
When you meet someone online and instantly something clicks, something that can't actually be explained. When I met my master online that happened but for some circumstances we were not able to get serious then. Starting from then untill now I saw many other dominants but nothing really happened. You see I am a bit stubborn and hard to control, I like to tease my master and it's hard for me to control these tendencies at times which always gets me in trouble and makes it hard for me to submit.
I believe I am a submissive by nature due to lots of things that happened in the past but I never could really name this feelings untill two years back when I came to discover BDSM, and now. I can't even think about doing anything else or ever be satisfied by a vanilla life.
I am back with my master now and it's hard to maintain that level of control over only online contact but we try our best to make it work. I feel proud to say that he knows me and my thoughts better than I do at times and treats me exactly as I want to be treated.
With him I refer to myself as 'your slut' which is humiliating sure but something which I wanted, and truthfully I never even said it out loud to him, he just knew it god knows how. I love to be his slut.
Talking about me I am someone who came into this BDSM community through the love for bondage, but soon enough discovered many other things to love about it. I have come to love the humiliation of pet play, the humiliation of verbal abuse, overall you can say I love humiliation in all its forms. Overtime I have come to love anal play, more to say about it is that anal is what gave me my first real orgasm, I like to be denied and teased but resently it seems I tend to lose my control a lot, hence now my master is helping me with that and hopefully very soon I won't be dissapointing him anymore over it. That's the thing, I hate to dissapoint him and it makes me soo guilty that I tend to hide myself from him for days, maybe even weeks and that makes me feel horrible about myself. He tried to make me understand that it's ok and that I will make him proud soon enough and I hope he is right about it too. I hate doing it everytime. I want to make my master feel proud of his slut.
He wanted me to make a blog kind of thing and write there about all my online expirences with him and share it with the world and thats what I plan to do here. He feels writing this all down will help me reflect back on everything I did that day and help me with my control issues.
I believe I am a submissive by nature due to lots of things that happened in the past but I never could really name this feelings untill two years back when I came to discover BDSM, and now. I can't even think about doing anything else or ever be satisfied by a vanilla life.
I am back with my master now and it's hard to maintain that level of control over only online contact but we try our best to make it work. I feel proud to say that he knows me and my thoughts better than I do at times and treats me exactly as I want to be treated.
With him I refer to myself as 'your slut' which is humiliating sure but something which I wanted, and truthfully I never even said it out loud to him, he just knew it god knows how. I love to be his slut.
Talking about me I am someone who came into this BDSM community through the love for bondage, but soon enough discovered many other things to love about it. I have come to love the humiliation of pet play, the humiliation of verbal abuse, overall you can say I love humiliation in all its forms. Overtime I have come to love anal play, more to say about it is that anal is what gave me my first real orgasm, I like to be denied and teased but resently it seems I tend to lose my control a lot, hence now my master is helping me with that and hopefully very soon I won't be dissapointing him anymore over it. That's the thing, I hate to dissapoint him and it makes me soo guilty that I tend to hide myself from him for days, maybe even weeks and that makes me feel horrible about myself. He tried to make me understand that it's ok and that I will make him proud soon enough and I hope he is right about it too. I hate doing it everytime. I want to make my master feel proud of his slut.
He wanted me to make a blog kind of thing and write there about all my online expirences with him and share it with the world and thats what I plan to do here. He feels writing this all down will help me reflect back on everything I did that day and help me with my control issues.
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