Rant about conversations/lack there of

disclaimer: I simply started writing what I was feeling and thought about, with no thoughts of direction on where it would lead.

Life has been incredibly 'interesting' in the last week and a half. I got sick, and my sickness caused inflammation of my side, and I sprained my ankle on top of that! I had 4 days off work, two of which were fortunately already scheduled days off.

So I stayed home, slept a TON to take a break and help my body heal faster, and my boyfriend and I spent waaay more time together than we have in months since working full time at my job.

But we spent that time playing board games and card games. Which was a lot of fun, but we didn't really talk about anything. Nothing meaningful, at least.

I remember in the beginning of our relationship, we'd talk about anything and everything, for hours and hours. And even after being together for well over a year, when I moved in, we'd keep each other up for hours at night, just talking about random things.

Aside from my relationship, back when I was living at home with my parents, I'd just talk to either parent most days about something. Regardless of the topic, it was nice to talk.

And going to social gatherings with friends, or simply visiting a friends house to just talk, even if we did nothing else, was just such an incredible blessing. But I've moved away from 'home', and well.. have few friends in the area. I do have a friend that I've known sine pre-school, that lives about 3 minutes away from me, but well, having adult lives with responsibilities, makes it difficult to find time to 'hang out.' Especially when the precious time I have away from work, I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend, or by myself, just as I'm sure she enjoys doing with her husband.

A few weeks ago, I was so incredibly feeling void of conversations, I did something crazy! I ACTUALLY called people I hadn't spoken to in years, some that I'd met years ago on runescape (an MMORPG I no longer play), and some friends I haven't seen since high school or college.

And I felt soooooo good after talking to them. We just caught up, and shared what's been going on with each other over the last several years, and talked about mutual people we knew, etc.

I used to get online and go on teamspeak, and talk to a bunch of people at once, which also involved 'moving rooms' occasionally when a smaller group of us was interested in a particular conversation.

I used to get on messengers and spend several hours talking with some of my best friends on this site, such as frosty, 1pupil, dravot, mandible, shadow, SDK, etc. (Sorry if I left anyone's name out). And well, it was wonderful, especially when I was still 'playing online'.

While things were often task oriented more with some, it was still conversations to be had. And well, now that I've quit online play of all sorts (with one very recent and one-time exception, as I'd given a task months ago and was asked to revise it), having conversations with those same people, often feel more forced.

How are you? Good, and you? Doing okay. Anything new happen lately? (maybe a few sentences) That's cool. -awkward 'silence' for a few minutes, and then forget about conversation as something else peaks interest on the net, such as a funny video on facebook.)

And this isn't directed at any one person, it's just that with me removing myself from online play, there really is less to talk about, with others on the site. There are some that I've met on here, where I've genuinely only talked 'vanilla with', but without the motivation of 'playing' I find little reason to get on messengers very often, so I resort to watching television shows.

It's my own fault really. I'm sure there are plenty of people I could talk to... it's just that I haven't, and the lack of conversations just has me down right now.

Working full time is wonderful, in terms of feeling like I've accomplished something, and knowing that I did well to work myself up into a better position in a short span of time. But wow, does it eat up a lot of other time.

And all that extra free time and down time I used to have, well, I miss it. What I miss most, I think, is the ability to just call one of my two best friends and ask if they want to hang out, go out to eat, to the mall, etc. Just being able to make random, sporadic plans.

I miss being able to message some of my best gD friends, and have a session of some sorts, as it was always a conversation, and a fun one at that.

I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful for my full time position, I'm thankful for having a boyfriend who I absolutely love spending time with, cuddling with, making dinner with, etc. I'm thankful for health insurance, and for having an amazing doctor now (the one I had back home was... well.... not the greatest for me).

I'm thankful for my car, internet, and all the friends I've had and have still.

I guess what it really comes down to, is that I miss being younger with less responsibilities and 'worries'. When I could just let loose and enjoy myself at any given time.

Anyway, just some ranting I wanted to get off my chest.