Orgasm Diary

I’ve recently entered a very fulfilling dynamic with Azyliux. The core of this dynamic has been strict orgasm control, so in that vein, I’ve been asked (ordered) to keep a public diary of all orgasms that I am permitted to have under his control.

Denial: A History

In past dynamics I’ve been lucky enough to have received fairly regular orgasms (still not as many as I prefer to have lol). I have zero experience with long term denial. In the past I’ve struggled to respect the integrity of orgasm control, but am working on bettering myself and holding this restriction sacred.
As far as edging goes, I find it to be difficult. Having the restraint to pull away is definitely something I’m working on (and starting to excel at if I’m allowed to brag lol) .

It’s very fulfilling to be able to surrender my right to orgasm to my Dom, and am very thankful that he has taken on this responsibility. I am learning to see a lot of value in denial and am attempting to handle the situation with grace (if grace is possible when you’re an edged mess).

I can be a fairly private person, so opening up this diary to you is an act of extreme vulnerability on my part. I regard these acts to be very intimate between my Dom and I, and am very nervous to make my submission public in this way. (So be nice).

Without Further Ado: The Diary

27 October 2023

The night of my last post I was edging and getting my number up quite a bit. I was really proud of my progress and got a little too cocky. I ended up going over and ruining an orgasm.
I reported the transgression to my Dom immediately and was given the night to rest before being given my punishment in the morning. I felt awful and hated that I had ruined my record and disappointed my Dom.
For cumming without permission and while in denial, I had to rub my clit for three minutes with Tabasco on my finger. This was all recorded while I repeated “I’m sorry for cumming without permission, Sir”. After the three minutes, I was allowed to wash the Tabasco off my clit and more importantly - I was forgiven.
This punishment hurt a lot and made me so frustrated and a bit angry. Although I was cranky and wanted to be a brat, I knew that wouldn’t be beneficial for my relationship with my Dom and asked instead if he would play with me after the punishment. I set up a webcam and he watched me edge and fuck my ass and cunt at his command. I felt a lot better after that. I consider myself very lucky to have a Dom who is fair and can punish me appropriately for my mistakes.

After last night I now have completed 20 edges and will be eligible for an orgasm on February 4th if I can reach 1000 edges without any accidents by then.

Update 27 October 2023

I have been edging consistently to reach my goal of 1000 edges in 100 days. I’m currently at 266 edges, and am very excited about the possibility of being allowed to cum in January if I reach my goal.

Update October 2023

My Dom has made the decision to extend my denial and make my orgasms less frequent. I respect his decision and agree that I don’t deserve orgasms. I’m much more useful as a denial slut. The rules for my next orgasm are that it must be at least 100 days from the last one (making me eligible again on January 11th). In that time I have to complete 1000 edges. As I’m writing this I am at 85 edges. If I ruin, everything resets. I’m very very nervous as I’ve had an issue with ruining in the past, but I am grateful that my Dom has given me this challenge and believes in me. The edging is making me so horny all of the time - I can’t imagine what I’ll be like by january!


3rd October 2023

I got two orgasms! The first I just used my hands. Honestly it wasn’t as powerful as I’d like it to be especially after months of not cumming, but beggars can’t be choosers. The second orgasm was with my wand. It’s a new toy and I was excited to get to cum with it.

6th August 2023m

This was so long ago and I don’t remember all of the specifics. But I do know I was face down ass up with both of my holes stuffed. It was such a strong orgasm and I loved it!

**Update 3rd July 2023**

I will not be updating this diary for awhile. I have been put in denial for an unknown period of time that will last at least one month. During this time I will continue to edge and keep my denied cunt dripping and desperate for my Dom. I am excited for this opportunity to prove myself and so turned on by this denial, but am obviously daunted by the idea of having to go so long! I think the longest I’ve gone in the past is two weeks, so would double that record.

Tuesday 27th June 2023

After plenty of edging play I was ordered to vigorously fuck my ass with a hot-sauce lubed dildo. After several minutes of that I was permitted to cum with my glass dildo in my cunt and my wand on my clit. I was very thankful to be permitted this orgasm and filmed it for my Dom while thanking him profusely.

After my initial orgasm, my Dom spoiled me by permitting me to have as many as I’d like as long as the dildo stayed in my ass. I had two more.

Although I’m incredibly thankful to have been allowed to cum, the orgasms were not as satisfying as I would have liked, and I think I need longer denial in order to truly appreciate my orgasms.


Friday 24th June, 2023

I wanted to please my Dom by edging before bed to keep myself horny and desperate for him. I had stuffed my midsize dildo inside my cunt and was playing with my vibrator on my clit. After many edges, I went to pull the vibrator away as I edged again, but lost control of myself and went over the edge anyway resulting in a ruined orgasm. I immediately reported the transgression to my very understanding Dom. I am extremely disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen, but am proud that I had the strength to ruin the orgasm instead of enjoying it.

Since this incident I have been punished accordingly, and am very thankful to my Dom for having patience during my denial training and for correcting my mistakes.

Sunday 18th June, 2023

I came after several edges. All of my holes were filled including a glass dildo in my cunt, my midsize dildo was covered in hot sauce and in my ass and my buttplug (which I had been wearing minutes earlier) was in my mouth. The dildo in my ass burned, but not in a way that was entirely unpleasant. I find a rational amount of pain enjoyable and do wear the title “painslut” with pride. I think it was my first time cumming with all three holes filled (if not one of the very few times) which was an intense and exciting new experience. It’s always rewarding to hit new milestones under your Dom’s control.

I am very very thankful for this orgasm and to have been permitted to cum.


Monday 12th June, 2023

For my first orgasm under my Dom’s control, I was ordered to cum by fucking my cunt with my glass dildo. Orgasm from vaginal penetration can take some time for me and I was worried that I wouldn’t be given enough time. That combined with this being my first orgasm in the dynamic created a very intense experience. At the end i was crying and my legs were shaking.

I am very thankful for this orgasm and to be owned by Azyliux.

That’s all for now, but stay tuned for hopefully many more orgasms. (Hint hint, Azyliux)