Orgasm and Denial Log
The idea for this blog challenge comes from redcamel, who suggested the idea of having to blog your sex life, or at a minimum, the date of every orgasm. The most intimate part of your life is this laid bare for anyone to casually examine.
Since I am often in denial because of dice game results, the entries below may not all be orgasms, but may also include any sexual activity which was forbidden to me at the time.
16-Jul-2022 12:23pm I hope to soon be posing nude as a life model in a local art studio. I was looking at the Instagram pages of some of the women artists and some of their selfies, thinking about the fact that I'm the not too distant future they may be looking at naked me. it's probably a bad idea sexualizing that future scenario, but a lot of stroking accompanied looking at their faces.
16-Jul-2022 8:05am I can stroke in the shower. No washcloths in the way. Just soapy hands sliding effortlessly over my dick . I don't know how long I lost myself in that pleasure, but I must have the cleanest and shiniest cock in the state right now.
16-Sep-2022 12:30am For the first time in over 11 weeks, I can stroke myself - penalty free. I locked my hand until it was good and moist, reached down, and HEAVEN! I had to make sure I didn't take it as far as an edge, so I would stroke a little, rest a little, stroke, rest, stroke, etc, time and time again until I fell into my best sleep in months.
08-Jul-2022 3:35am I'm not giving myself a penalty, but I just orgasmed. At least I guess that is what you would call it.
I woke up and lay in bed air humping. Not fucking the mattress or pillow - that would be breaking denial. I was literally fucking air and thinking the thoughts that get my motor running. I began clutching a pillow to my chest. My breathing was getting increasingly ragged and my cock started tingling.
And I came. Hard. But no cum was involved.
My whole body tensed. I stopped breathing. Every muscle from head to toe was locked tight and I was like in suspended animation for a second or two. Then they all released at once and I let out a deep moan from the core of my being. This tense / release cycle repeated every couple of seconds a few was more times, but less intensely. This was followed by total relaxation, almost paralysis for a minute or two. Just lying there unable to
Zmove.
I can only decribe it as a touch-free, sperm-free orgasm. After three and a half months without a "real" orgasm, this was absolutely amazing.
I wonder, without ejaculation and without the penis
being the center of attention if this is the closest I'll ever come to experiencing a female orgasm.
05-Jul-2022 12:35am the seventh and final dice game of the series was played. I had a quick "win" I'm two rounds, but because I had already lost four games I'm the series, I have to win twice before my opponent wins once. The quest for the second win went on and on and before I finally lost in Round 20 with a sentence running through August 3rd. In addition to touching being forbidden, new rules also fornid pornographic literature, images, or videos.
02-Jul-2022 11:06am Just lying down, planning my afternoon, when I realized my hand was in my pants grabbing my right ass cheek. The dice gods smiled on me and I only got one additional hour tacked on to my sentence, now ending at 12:35am on July 5th., but I came dangerously close to another 22 days fas a disincentive against repeat offenses.
30-Jun-2022 6:57am A mere three hours away from ending this phase of my denial, I was in the shower, relieved to be in the home stretch when I forgot my situation and ran a soapy hand over my buttocks to clean them. Oops. A touch with stroking (rubbing) and the denial is now extended to 8:35am on July 3rd.
17-Jun-2022 5:51pm Those water stains you see on your screen are my tears. I was fixing supper and realized I was punching a nipple. Why? Who the hell know? But it was up to the dice to decide my punishment. At first it was only two extra hours of denial, but then s secondary "repeat offender" roll added twelve additional DAYS, extending denial to 9:35am on June 30. FUCK! Since I can only slowly win back sexual liberties after denial, I will not have a "legal" orgasm until July. August is not out of the question. March to August with only one ruined orgasm ... for which I was punished. I can NOT believe this!
17-Jun-2022 10:13am Only two hours in to my new denial reality and I was mindlessly playing with a nipple. Actually as the hand was moving towards its target, my mind screamed, "DON'T!!!” but it was too late. This one earned me another 14 hours added to my "no touch" denial
17-Jun-2022 8:35am I do happily using my stroking privileges while fantasizing about possibly playing a stripping game on Skype against a woman. I got carried away. As soon as I realized it, I tore my hand away and realized I was going to have to squeeze my pelvic muscles tightly to not leak any semen. But try as I might, I still dribbled out a small load of cum with a ruined orgasm. My first cum in twelve weeks, and it gave me no pleasure, and earned me a trip back to denial jail. The dice gods smiled on me, and I was punished with only lines and nine hours of denial, but I will have to win back touching and stroking privileges again
09-Jun-2022 7:32pm And today I can stroke it. OH! MY! GOD! I just have to make sure I don't edge since I don't have permission for that yet. I've decided as long as I can relax without fluid leaking out, it is not an edge. But if I have to squeeze to hold it back, that will define an edge. (PS, I must have stroked about every 30 minutes for the next several days. The rediscovery of that pleasure was amazing!)
08-Jun-2022 3:57pm At long last, for the first time since March, I am allowed to touch myself. I still am not allowed stroking or other friction-related pleasure, but I'm enjoying just lying in bed holding my penis. I could get used to this!
24-May-2022 11:30am The previously scheduled dice game was played and I lost, earning 2 days 12 hours of denial time, to begin at the conclusion of my existing sentence, putting the new end on June 2nd at 2:15pm. This means that the denial which began in March will have continued through the entire months of April and May as well.
22-May-2022 12:15pm it was a hot and sticky day. I still had not earned the right to touch after my previous denial penalty, but my penis and scrotum we're stuck together and I reached down to separate them. In addition to again having to write lines, the dice punished that behavior with an 8 day 14 hour denial penalty, running through 2:15am on May 31st.
19-May-2022 7:30am The denial penalty is over. Sort of. I earn sexual privileges back slowly by winning dice games played once per day. I still can't touch, but at least a concurrent penalty of daily lines writing is lifted immediately. Alsio, another dice game is scheduled for 11:30am on May 24th which will determine if I remain free or begin serving a new denial penalty.
14-May-2022 8:40am The primal brain tried to comfort itself over the additional denial time by reflexively reaching for the pubic region. Luckily that touch only added 1 hour to my denial, now, now ending at 7:30am on May 19th.
14-May-2022 8:27am Lying naked in bed after waking up, I was daydreaming about what it would be like to not be in denial and realized my fingers were twirling the pubic hair right at the base of my penis and that I was going to get more time added to my sentence, so I figured I might as well grab and hold my penis since I was already going to pay for touching. Unfortunately, it felt so good to have it in my hand, that I began stroking it, adding still more penalty time. Ultimately, 14 hours of penalty time for the touch and 23 hours for pumping the penis extended denial to 6:30am on May 19th.
03-May-2022 9:30am The dice game that began the denial torture was replayed and I lost again, extending the denial 14vdays and 8 hours to 5:30pm on May 17th.
22-Apr-2022 12 20am I have no idea what happened. I was slowly waking up after dozing off and my first conscioius thought wss, "Why is my hand on breast?" That indiscretion added 7 hours to my denial, now, now ending at 9:30am on May 3rd.
14-Apr-2022 2:00pm While sitting on the toilet focusing on not touching my penis, I couldn't resist pressing in the pubic hair region and moving the skin up and down to make my penis bounce. Since a week earlier this caused me to edge, I treated it as if I were stroking my cock. The penalty time extended my denial out through 6:30pm on May 2nd. it is so disheartening to realize that this started in March and is now extending into May - I will be denied the entire month of April.
10-Apr-2022 10:16pm Without realizing it, my hand was inside my pants playing with my pubes. As punishment, denial is extended 2 hours to 8:30pm on April 28th.
10-Apr-2022 8:45am While brushing my teeth, without thinking, my free hand was fondling my left butt cheek. The actual penalty was two hours, but because of the number of touch penalties being accumulated, an additional penalty of ten days was added, extending the denal to 6:30pm on April 28th.
9-Apr-2022 2:21pm Partly without thinking, and partly out of a desire for physical contact, I put my hands down my pants to play with my pubic region, taking care not to touch any of the prohibited areas. Even though this is not explicitly against the letter of the rules, it certainly violates the spirit, especially since yesterday this behavior led to an edge. I've decided this should be treated a an inappropriate touch. As punishment, denial is extended 6 hours to 4:30pm on April 18th.
8-Apr-2022 2:00pm I am so horny, I was laying in bed naked, fantasizing about whether it was possible to streak in the shadows alongside a busy state highway running through the center of town some evening. I wasn't actually touching my penis, but I was pulling and pushing on my pubic region causing the penis to bounce up and down, receiving pleasure from the motion, and ultimately almost cumming - stopping just shy with an edge. As punishment, denial is extended 1 day and 4 hours to 10:30am on April 18th.
6-Apr-2022 7:15am I don't even no why buttocks are on my "no touch" list, but they are. Today in the shower, I was soaping up my legs and, without thinking, continued up to a butt cheek. Touching for hygiene requires a washcloth to prevent skin to skin contact. I had my soapy hands directly in contact with my ass. Two seconds. Tops. Zero sexual pleasure. Nonetheless, fenial is extended 3 hours to 6:30am on April 17th.
4-Apr-2022 6:54am I grew hornier by the second in the shower. When I got out, I started "air humping" to some nudes a beautiful young woman had sent me. Before long my right hand grabbed my cock and squeezed it tight while I fantasized about it being buried deep in a different tight place. Somehow I was able to refrain from pumping it, so I only got the penalty for touching my penis. Denial is extended 5 hours to 3:30am on April 17th.
2-Apr-2022 4:26am I woke up to find my left nipple pinched between the fingers of my right hand. Denial is extended 5 hours to 10:30pm on April 16th.
30-Mar-2022 2:05pm Just to do something different, I found myself kneading a bare buttock while on the toilet, extending my denial 3 hours. However, part of the game that put me in denial also came with a line writing penalty. I had been very bad about satisfying that part of the loss and accumulated additional penalty time. Denial is now scheduled to end at 5:30pm on April 16! I am already feeling desperate. This is going to be terrible.
29-Mar-2022 10:49am I apologize for how ridiculous this sounds, but yet more nipple tweaking through my shirt. Yet another hour of denial is added, delaying release until 4:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 4:20pm Again with the nipple. How often do I do this?! Denial is extended 2 hours to 3:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 10:05am I mindlessly was playing with a nipple through my shirt and got another hour of denial added to my sentence, now ending at 1:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 12:34am Not even five minutes into denial, I was pinching and playing with a nipple. Denial is extended 1 hour to 12:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 12:30am I lost a dice game and have been in denial for 2 days and 23 hours, or until 11:30pm on March 31. While being denied, I will be forbidden to touch my penis, scrotum, anus, buttocks, or nipples directly or with any object except for brief, basic hygiene which must not be done with direct skin-to-skin contact.
Since I am often in denial because of dice game results, the entries below may not all be orgasms, but may also include any sexual activity which was forbidden to me at the time.
16-Jul-2022 12:23pm I hope to soon be posing nude as a life model in a local art studio. I was looking at the Instagram pages of some of the women artists and some of their selfies, thinking about the fact that I'm the not too distant future they may be looking at naked me. it's probably a bad idea sexualizing that future scenario, but a lot of stroking accompanied looking at their faces.
16-Jul-2022 8:05am I can stroke in the shower. No washcloths in the way. Just soapy hands sliding effortlessly over my dick . I don't know how long I lost myself in that pleasure, but I must have the cleanest and shiniest cock in the state right now.
16-Sep-2022 12:30am For the first time in over 11 weeks, I can stroke myself - penalty free. I locked my hand until it was good and moist, reached down, and HEAVEN! I had to make sure I didn't take it as far as an edge, so I would stroke a little, rest a little, stroke, rest, stroke, etc, time and time again until I fell into my best sleep in months.
08-Jul-2022 3:35am I'm not giving myself a penalty, but I just orgasmed. At least I guess that is what you would call it.
I woke up and lay in bed air humping. Not fucking the mattress or pillow - that would be breaking denial. I was literally fucking air and thinking the thoughts that get my motor running. I began clutching a pillow to my chest. My breathing was getting increasingly ragged and my cock started tingling.
And I came. Hard. But no cum was involved.
My whole body tensed. I stopped breathing. Every muscle from head to toe was locked tight and I was like in suspended animation for a second or two. Then they all released at once and I let out a deep moan from the core of my being. This tense / release cycle repeated every couple of seconds a few was more times, but less intensely. This was followed by total relaxation, almost paralysis for a minute or two. Just lying there unable to
Zmove.
I can only decribe it as a touch-free, sperm-free orgasm. After three and a half months without a "real" orgasm, this was absolutely amazing.
I wonder, without ejaculation and without the penis
being the center of attention if this is the closest I'll ever come to experiencing a female orgasm.
05-Jul-2022 12:35am the seventh and final dice game of the series was played. I had a quick "win" I'm two rounds, but because I had already lost four games I'm the series, I have to win twice before my opponent wins once. The quest for the second win went on and on and before I finally lost in Round 20 with a sentence running through August 3rd. In addition to touching being forbidden, new rules also fornid pornographic literature, images, or videos.
02-Jul-2022 11:06am Just lying down, planning my afternoon, when I realized my hand was in my pants grabbing my right ass cheek. The dice gods smiled on me and I only got one additional hour tacked on to my sentence, now ending at 12:35am on July 5th., but I came dangerously close to another 22 days fas a disincentive against repeat offenses.
30-Jun-2022 6:57am A mere three hours away from ending this phase of my denial, I was in the shower, relieved to be in the home stretch when I forgot my situation and ran a soapy hand over my buttocks to clean them. Oops. A touch with stroking (rubbing) and the denial is now extended to 8:35am on July 3rd.
17-Jun-2022 5:51pm Those water stains you see on your screen are my tears. I was fixing supper and realized I was punching a nipple. Why? Who the hell know? But it was up to the dice to decide my punishment. At first it was only two extra hours of denial, but then s secondary "repeat offender" roll added twelve additional DAYS, extending denial to 9:35am on June 30. FUCK! Since I can only slowly win back sexual liberties after denial, I will not have a "legal" orgasm until July. August is not out of the question. March to August with only one ruined orgasm ... for which I was punished. I can NOT believe this!
17-Jun-2022 10:13am Only two hours in to my new denial reality and I was mindlessly playing with a nipple. Actually as the hand was moving towards its target, my mind screamed, "DON'T!!!” but it was too late. This one earned me another 14 hours added to my "no touch" denial
17-Jun-2022 8:35am I do happily using my stroking privileges while fantasizing about possibly playing a stripping game on Skype against a woman. I got carried away. As soon as I realized it, I tore my hand away and realized I was going to have to squeeze my pelvic muscles tightly to not leak any semen. But try as I might, I still dribbled out a small load of cum with a ruined orgasm. My first cum in twelve weeks, and it gave me no pleasure, and earned me a trip back to denial jail. The dice gods smiled on me, and I was punished with only lines and nine hours of denial, but I will have to win back touching and stroking privileges again
09-Jun-2022 7:32pm And today I can stroke it. OH! MY! GOD! I just have to make sure I don't edge since I don't have permission for that yet. I've decided as long as I can relax without fluid leaking out, it is not an edge. But if I have to squeeze to hold it back, that will define an edge. (PS, I must have stroked about every 30 minutes for the next several days. The rediscovery of that pleasure was amazing!)
08-Jun-2022 3:57pm At long last, for the first time since March, I am allowed to touch myself. I still am not allowed stroking or other friction-related pleasure, but I'm enjoying just lying in bed holding my penis. I could get used to this!
24-May-2022 11:30am The previously scheduled dice game was played and I lost, earning 2 days 12 hours of denial time, to begin at the conclusion of my existing sentence, putting the new end on June 2nd at 2:15pm. This means that the denial which began in March will have continued through the entire months of April and May as well.
22-May-2022 12:15pm it was a hot and sticky day. I still had not earned the right to touch after my previous denial penalty, but my penis and scrotum we're stuck together and I reached down to separate them. In addition to again having to write lines, the dice punished that behavior with an 8 day 14 hour denial penalty, running through 2:15am on May 31st.
19-May-2022 7:30am The denial penalty is over. Sort of. I earn sexual privileges back slowly by winning dice games played once per day. I still can't touch, but at least a concurrent penalty of daily lines writing is lifted immediately. Alsio, another dice game is scheduled for 11:30am on May 24th which will determine if I remain free or begin serving a new denial penalty.
14-May-2022 8:40am The primal brain tried to comfort itself over the additional denial time by reflexively reaching for the pubic region. Luckily that touch only added 1 hour to my denial, now, now ending at 7:30am on May 19th.
14-May-2022 8:27am Lying naked in bed after waking up, I was daydreaming about what it would be like to not be in denial and realized my fingers were twirling the pubic hair right at the base of my penis and that I was going to get more time added to my sentence, so I figured I might as well grab and hold my penis since I was already going to pay for touching. Unfortunately, it felt so good to have it in my hand, that I began stroking it, adding still more penalty time. Ultimately, 14 hours of penalty time for the touch and 23 hours for pumping the penis extended denial to 6:30am on May 19th.
03-May-2022 9:30am The dice game that began the denial torture was replayed and I lost again, extending the denial 14vdays and 8 hours to 5:30pm on May 17th.
22-Apr-2022 12 20am I have no idea what happened. I was slowly waking up after dozing off and my first conscioius thought wss, "Why is my hand on breast?" That indiscretion added 7 hours to my denial, now, now ending at 9:30am on May 3rd.
14-Apr-2022 2:00pm While sitting on the toilet focusing on not touching my penis, I couldn't resist pressing in the pubic hair region and moving the skin up and down to make my penis bounce. Since a week earlier this caused me to edge, I treated it as if I were stroking my cock. The penalty time extended my denial out through 6:30pm on May 2nd. it is so disheartening to realize that this started in March and is now extending into May - I will be denied the entire month of April.
10-Apr-2022 10:16pm Without realizing it, my hand was inside my pants playing with my pubes. As punishment, denial is extended 2 hours to 8:30pm on April 28th.
10-Apr-2022 8:45am While brushing my teeth, without thinking, my free hand was fondling my left butt cheek. The actual penalty was two hours, but because of the number of touch penalties being accumulated, an additional penalty of ten days was added, extending the denal to 6:30pm on April 28th.
9-Apr-2022 2:21pm Partly without thinking, and partly out of a desire for physical contact, I put my hands down my pants to play with my pubic region, taking care not to touch any of the prohibited areas. Even though this is not explicitly against the letter of the rules, it certainly violates the spirit, especially since yesterday this behavior led to an edge. I've decided this should be treated a an inappropriate touch. As punishment, denial is extended 6 hours to 4:30pm on April 18th.
8-Apr-2022 2:00pm I am so horny, I was laying in bed naked, fantasizing about whether it was possible to streak in the shadows alongside a busy state highway running through the center of town some evening. I wasn't actually touching my penis, but I was pulling and pushing on my pubic region causing the penis to bounce up and down, receiving pleasure from the motion, and ultimately almost cumming - stopping just shy with an edge. As punishment, denial is extended 1 day and 4 hours to 10:30am on April 18th.
6-Apr-2022 7:15am I don't even no why buttocks are on my "no touch" list, but they are. Today in the shower, I was soaping up my legs and, without thinking, continued up to a butt cheek. Touching for hygiene requires a washcloth to prevent skin to skin contact. I had my soapy hands directly in contact with my ass. Two seconds. Tops. Zero sexual pleasure. Nonetheless, fenial is extended 3 hours to 6:30am on April 17th.
4-Apr-2022 6:54am I grew hornier by the second in the shower. When I got out, I started "air humping" to some nudes a beautiful young woman had sent me. Before long my right hand grabbed my cock and squeezed it tight while I fantasized about it being buried deep in a different tight place. Somehow I was able to refrain from pumping it, so I only got the penalty for touching my penis. Denial is extended 5 hours to 3:30am on April 17th.
2-Apr-2022 4:26am I woke up to find my left nipple pinched between the fingers of my right hand. Denial is extended 5 hours to 10:30pm on April 16th.
30-Mar-2022 2:05pm Just to do something different, I found myself kneading a bare buttock while on the toilet, extending my denial 3 hours. However, part of the game that put me in denial also came with a line writing penalty. I had been very bad about satisfying that part of the loss and accumulated additional penalty time. Denial is now scheduled to end at 5:30pm on April 16! I am already feeling desperate. This is going to be terrible.
29-Mar-2022 10:49am I apologize for how ridiculous this sounds, but yet more nipple tweaking through my shirt. Yet another hour of denial is added, delaying release until 4:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 4:20pm Again with the nipple. How often do I do this?! Denial is extended 2 hours to 3:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 10:05am I mindlessly was playing with a nipple through my shirt and got another hour of denial added to my sentence, now ending at 1:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 12:34am Not even five minutes into denial, I was pinching and playing with a nipple. Denial is extended 1 hour to 12:30am on April 1.
28-Mar-2022 12:30am I lost a dice game and have been in denial for 2 days and 23 hours, or until 11:30pm on March 31. While being denied, I will be forbidden to touch my penis, scrotum, anus, buttocks, or nipples directly or with any object except for brief, basic hygiene which must not be done with direct skin-to-skin contact.
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