In My Head: Dates
Posted 12-11-2011 at 10:51 PM by Counterfeit_Fantasy
Women are complicated things, we're impossible to understand. Fail to do something, we get mad. Do what we say, we find an issue of how you do it. Women are picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. (It's not, just to let you know). And men, I respect you for trying to keep us pleased with your fancy bouquet of flowers and emotional poetry complete with guitar solo.
But seriously, just ram me. You've been thoughtful and all, and hey look, you even paid for dinner, how sweet of you. I understand you want a deep emotional connection with me and your ideals of starting it slow is very admirable. We've eatten, cuddled, watched a movie, played Monopoly, talked about our hopes and dreams and contemplated the question to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, so please, just fuck me.
Please, take control, I don't want to force your hand down my pants. It just makes me feel like a rapist. You've kissed me the past half hour, your knee is definitely prodding the right area, how absolutely lovely. But for cheese and cake don't make me ninja on top of you and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new post-modern aerobic yoga because you won't go down on me.
Moaning shouldn't concern you, don't stop when I do. That's not teasing, not at all. You know that thing called the clit? Stop avoiding it like a puffy pink button of plague. Are you tickling it? No, stop that, I don't know what the fuck you're trying to do. Tapping my pussy in a similar way you do in a Governement office does not turn me on, at all. Try putting them in, don't worry, it doesn't bite.
Oh, half way in. Ya, you're too big for me, you're so nice only putting it 3 inches in. Don't be afraid to make a noise, it's not like I'm trying to fuck a ninja. Do you know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that.
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But seriously, just ram me. You've been thoughtful and all, and hey look, you even paid for dinner, how sweet of you. I understand you want a deep emotional connection with me and your ideals of starting it slow is very admirable. We've eatten, cuddled, watched a movie, played Monopoly, talked about our hopes and dreams and contemplated the question to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, so please, just fuck me.
Please, take control, I don't want to force your hand down my pants. It just makes me feel like a rapist. You've kissed me the past half hour, your knee is definitely prodding the right area, how absolutely lovely. But for cheese and cake don't make me ninja on top of you and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new post-modern aerobic yoga because you won't go down on me.
Moaning shouldn't concern you, don't stop when I do. That's not teasing, not at all. You know that thing called the clit? Stop avoiding it like a puffy pink button of plague. Are you tickling it? No, stop that, I don't know what the fuck you're trying to do. Tapping my pussy in a similar way you do in a Governement office does not turn me on, at all. Try putting them in, don't worry, it doesn't bite.
Oh, half way in. Ya, you're too big for me, you're so nice only putting it 3 inches in. Don't be afraid to make a noise, it's not like I'm trying to fuck a ninja. Do you know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that.
...
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Hahaha, funny blog. Well funny to me anyway, as an observer. I'm sure going through all of this was pretty irritating. Did it ever get any better?Posted 12-14-2011 at 02:07 PM by spiritualxtc 
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Pretty comical post. This blog is just full of irony rofl.
Posted 12-14-2011 at 02:10 PM by Daring_Soul
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The main idea is: Dominant partner is needed on dates...
Posted 01-31-2012 at 12:42 AM by greenslav
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+1 . .. .. .. ... ... .. ...Posted 01-31-2012 at 02:36 AM by softeyes
