1 year, 0 orgasms
Tags achievement, denial, orgasm
1 Year, 0 Orgasms
The facts:
Denial length: 1 Year (and counting)
Full orgasms: Zilch
Ruined orgasms: 8 (maybe?)
Well today’s the day, 1 year after my last full glorious cummy messy orgasm. When I originally received 333 days of denial it seemed like an unclimbable mountain. I was inexperienced in denial having done one very messy (ruiny) 1 month spell previously so I was rather assuming I’d have to beg for reductions long before I made anything like 333 days. Here’s a quick summary of my year…
Months 1 to 4 - Over-exertion
With much trepidation, I set off nervously and the denial literally got off to the worse start possible as it was extended beyond a year! By this point I was resoundingly screwed in any case so didn’t worry too much, although did receive lots of reassurance from my Mistress that reductions would be possible but only if I ended up really needing them.
Discovering kinks during this time, trying more feminisation in particular (wearing panties half a week, getting cross-dressed clothes, getting a new name, doing 20+ hours of public webcam time etc.) ensured I stayed extremely horny for this period. Having new kinks prodded, stretched and explored is particularly exciting for me (as I guess it is for most people) and the additional arousal only increased my worries that a year denial would actually be impossible.
Luckily (for health reasons, as well as sanity) I had some ruins to use during my denial which stacked up with depressing regularity during my first 4 months of denial, coming almost exactly as I’d reached the end of a accident-free month. Continuous edging is something I really enjoy and can normally do easily, feeling the energy build up over 30+ edges in a row is intoxicating (as well as being a great way to cum as the energy build up leads to an extremely satisfying release). Sadly, when denied, it’s also a sure fire way for me to succumb to accidents. Any distractions (in particularly being tired and losing concentration) mean I just don’t feel myself go past the edge and boom (or dribble in this case ugh). It’s entirely unsatisfying, frustrating and definitely worsens my mood considerably.
Being kept on edge (literally or just through tasks) this was a rough start, although still very enjoyable. Inbetween the hellish ruins I was constantly feeling engaged in new & exciting things while my horniness levels kept me eager to explore just a little deeper ensuring the denial was enjoyable, if rather challenging.
Month 5-6 - New found control
If the initial months were characterised with overexertion these months brought about a new found calm. Taking an enforced kink break due to lack of privacy my horniness levels retreated to some level of normality. Even with the extended denial, I had less free-time to masturbate and no tasks keeping me quite so on edge.
Easy would be an overstatement but with fewer things getting me in the mood it’s fair to say that this was the easiest part of my denial. Even with the hot summer (good weather does tend to get me in the mood) I was able to get a good no accidental ruin through spell that lasted a full 3 months. Although this period was technically boring as I was much less active it greatly increased my confidence that I could actually reach the end goal without totally messing up my mind with frequent ruins. I got a huge sense of achievement from having a clear “proper” denial run but any positivity was soon to face resistance.
Month 7-9 - Struggling to get going
The “kink break” should have recharged my batteries yet I found it very difficult to get back doing tasks. A mixture of my chronic fatigue making me tired and winter depression ensured that although the denial itself went (relatively) easily enough (bar one clumsy ruin) then my progress with tasks was super slow. Even if I found one or two good days I’d procrastinate (I’ll do it after I play some video games, do it tomorrow…) meaning I didn’t get any momentum going with my tasks. Luckily my Mistress helped with some ultra-generous reductions but I would still find myself ruing the slow pace later on in my denial.
The denial was still fun and very challenging, particularly as I bought a chastity device which added a new level to my denial. With intermittent wear (2 weeks a week per my rule from Sexyred) I wasn’t sure if it’d reduce or increase my frustration. I should have guessed I suppose as I find no touching rules very frustrating and found that wearing my chastity increased my dicklet sensitivity tons.
From the summer where I could probably give or take an orgasm, I quickly found myself desperate for one. Even minimal edging sent me wild with desire and each required a huge effort to stop before getting to the moment I found myself gagging for. With the task reductions though I was stubbornly set on completing my denial and was still yet to ask for any reductions (indeed I didn’t throughout).
Month 10-now - More please
It was only around Christmas that I realised I’d actually make it to a full year of denial. With 3 distinct periods it’d managed to stay fun and challenging throughout; from the excessive messy edging, long no-run run to intermittent chastity play I’m not sure which was hardest. The long no-ruin run may have been less intense but something that felt like a real achievement given how difficult I can find keeping control for prolonged periods.
Oddly as the finish line came into sight I found myself craving something entirely unexpected. Not a cummy lovely orgasm sending endorphins spreading throughout my body and a hot steamy cummy mess spreading everywhere on my body but more denial. I’d come weirdly addicted to the horny feeling that accompanies most of my waking moments. From my aching hard dicklet early in the morning to finding myself feeling more aroused at the slightest thing. Light teasing or even just vanilla stripping porn would send me into a near teenage like frenzy while more adventurous play such as performing on public webcam seemed more intense as any inhibitions I would normally have drifted away. I even tempted Sexyred my gifting her as much control as she wanted of my dicklet with no real limits. I simply love pleasing my Mistress by making my dicklet struggle as much as she likes but the worry of setting up my dicklet for future “no limits” teasing & denial is getting more real now this denial ends.
As far as the tasks went I finally found some momentum, which is lucky as my denial now lasts until I’ve completed all the tasks (I’m hoping within the next 2 weeks although I’ve just gotten over an inopportunely timed cold so it could be a little longer yet).
A year denied. It does feel like quite an achievement and I will really appreciate my upcoming orgasms now (if I’m honest my last one was entirely meh, indeed maybe my often unspectacular orgasms is partly why I was able to complete the time). My mind’s so messed up that I think I may actually like denial more than I like orgasms, although with the sweet taste of a forgotten treat upcoming that opinion is liable to change. Either way, I’m assuming I’ll have little choice in further denial or even long-term chastity, which suits me just fine as I’ve gotten rather used to it :$
For anyone keen to take pity feel free to add some custom semi-mean orgasms for me to complete. I think these are all I'll get before my next denial gulp.
The facts:
Denial length: 1 Year (and counting)
Full orgasms: Zilch
Ruined orgasms: 8 (maybe?)
Well today’s the day, 1 year after my last full glorious cummy messy orgasm. When I originally received 333 days of denial it seemed like an unclimbable mountain. I was inexperienced in denial having done one very messy (ruiny) 1 month spell previously so I was rather assuming I’d have to beg for reductions long before I made anything like 333 days. Here’s a quick summary of my year…
Months 1 to 4 - Over-exertion
With much trepidation, I set off nervously and the denial literally got off to the worse start possible as it was extended beyond a year! By this point I was resoundingly screwed in any case so didn’t worry too much, although did receive lots of reassurance from my Mistress that reductions would be possible but only if I ended up really needing them.
Discovering kinks during this time, trying more feminisation in particular (wearing panties half a week, getting cross-dressed clothes, getting a new name, doing 20+ hours of public webcam time etc.) ensured I stayed extremely horny for this period. Having new kinks prodded, stretched and explored is particularly exciting for me (as I guess it is for most people) and the additional arousal only increased my worries that a year denial would actually be impossible.
Luckily (for health reasons, as well as sanity) I had some ruins to use during my denial which stacked up with depressing regularity during my first 4 months of denial, coming almost exactly as I’d reached the end of a accident-free month. Continuous edging is something I really enjoy and can normally do easily, feeling the energy build up over 30+ edges in a row is intoxicating (as well as being a great way to cum as the energy build up leads to an extremely satisfying release). Sadly, when denied, it’s also a sure fire way for me to succumb to accidents. Any distractions (in particularly being tired and losing concentration) mean I just don’t feel myself go past the edge and boom (or dribble in this case ugh). It’s entirely unsatisfying, frustrating and definitely worsens my mood considerably.
Being kept on edge (literally or just through tasks) this was a rough start, although still very enjoyable. Inbetween the hellish ruins I was constantly feeling engaged in new & exciting things while my horniness levels kept me eager to explore just a little deeper ensuring the denial was enjoyable, if rather challenging.
Month 5-6 - New found control
If the initial months were characterised with overexertion these months brought about a new found calm. Taking an enforced kink break due to lack of privacy my horniness levels retreated to some level of normality. Even with the extended denial, I had less free-time to masturbate and no tasks keeping me quite so on edge.
Easy would be an overstatement but with fewer things getting me in the mood it’s fair to say that this was the easiest part of my denial. Even with the hot summer (good weather does tend to get me in the mood) I was able to get a good no accidental ruin through spell that lasted a full 3 months. Although this period was technically boring as I was much less active it greatly increased my confidence that I could actually reach the end goal without totally messing up my mind with frequent ruins. I got a huge sense of achievement from having a clear “proper” denial run but any positivity was soon to face resistance.
Month 7-9 - Struggling to get going
The “kink break” should have recharged my batteries yet I found it very difficult to get back doing tasks. A mixture of my chronic fatigue making me tired and winter depression ensured that although the denial itself went (relatively) easily enough (bar one clumsy ruin) then my progress with tasks was super slow. Even if I found one or two good days I’d procrastinate (I’ll do it after I play some video games, do it tomorrow…) meaning I didn’t get any momentum going with my tasks. Luckily my Mistress helped with some ultra-generous reductions but I would still find myself ruing the slow pace later on in my denial.
The denial was still fun and very challenging, particularly as I bought a chastity device which added a new level to my denial. With intermittent wear (2 weeks a week per my rule from Sexyred) I wasn’t sure if it’d reduce or increase my frustration. I should have guessed I suppose as I find no touching rules very frustrating and found that wearing my chastity increased my dicklet sensitivity tons.
From the summer where I could probably give or take an orgasm, I quickly found myself desperate for one. Even minimal edging sent me wild with desire and each required a huge effort to stop before getting to the moment I found myself gagging for. With the task reductions though I was stubbornly set on completing my denial and was still yet to ask for any reductions (indeed I didn’t throughout).
Month 10-now - More please
It was only around Christmas that I realised I’d actually make it to a full year of denial. With 3 distinct periods it’d managed to stay fun and challenging throughout; from the excessive messy edging, long no-run run to intermittent chastity play I’m not sure which was hardest. The long no-ruin run may have been less intense but something that felt like a real achievement given how difficult I can find keeping control for prolonged periods.
Oddly as the finish line came into sight I found myself craving something entirely unexpected. Not a cummy lovely orgasm sending endorphins spreading throughout my body and a hot steamy cummy mess spreading everywhere on my body but more denial. I’d come weirdly addicted to the horny feeling that accompanies most of my waking moments. From my aching hard dicklet early in the morning to finding myself feeling more aroused at the slightest thing. Light teasing or even just vanilla stripping porn would send me into a near teenage like frenzy while more adventurous play such as performing on public webcam seemed more intense as any inhibitions I would normally have drifted away. I even tempted Sexyred my gifting her as much control as she wanted of my dicklet with no real limits. I simply love pleasing my Mistress by making my dicklet struggle as much as she likes but the worry of setting up my dicklet for future “no limits” teasing & denial is getting more real now this denial ends.
As far as the tasks went I finally found some momentum, which is lucky as my denial now lasts until I’ve completed all the tasks (I’m hoping within the next 2 weeks although I’ve just gotten over an inopportunely timed cold so it could be a little longer yet).
A year denied. It does feel like quite an achievement and I will really appreciate my upcoming orgasms now (if I’m honest my last one was entirely meh, indeed maybe my often unspectacular orgasms is partly why I was able to complete the time). My mind’s so messed up that I think I may actually like denial more than I like orgasms, although with the sweet taste of a forgotten treat upcoming that opinion is liable to change. Either way, I’m assuming I’ll have little choice in further denial or even long-term chastity, which suits me just fine as I’ve gotten rather used to it :$
For anyone keen to take pity feel free to add some custom semi-mean orgasms for me to complete. I think these are all I'll get before my next denial gulp.
Total Comments 7
Comments
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Congratulations! Now that you completed 1 full year without a full orgasm, a second year seems quite achievable, don't you think, Jessica?
Thanks for sharing these wonderful insights.
If I might ask, have you ever tried Cal's curse?Posted 03-01-2019 at 06:39 PM by CSasha 
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That is a really amazing achievement. Congratulations on a shockingly successful full year without orgasm!Posted 03-01-2019 at 08:03 PM by kurious kat
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The thought of a full year of denial... with edgings and other tasks that keep you in the zone... I can't even wrap my head around it. An impressive feat!
Thank you for an interesting report. I've flirted with the thought of denial (with ruined orgasms) but haven't gone further than, I think, two weeks. But that already gave me some foretaste of how arousal changes, how I might find new energies...Posted 03-02-2019 at 12:15 AM by Cstelle
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Jessica,
Forgive a stranger on the internet commenting but this sounds like a massive achievement! Such a report to read and what a journey. I am seriously impressed but I also understand your feelings that you have become almost addicted to your new normal.
In particular, it's great to read how much you got from this with the guidance and teasing of your mistress! Forgive me the digression but I hope/fear for a similar reaction to the end of my current chastity, nowhere near as long, as well. It's helpful to read your thoughts on it.
I want to say congratulations but, as you don't know me, they would sound a tad hollow. Instead, simply know how inspired you made a complete stranger feel with your awe-inspiring journey. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad I saw it!
ConniePosted 03-02-2019 at 04:02 AM by Consensus
Updated 03-02-2019 at 04:04 AM by Consensus -
This is absolutely amazing and completely unfathomable for me. You did amazing and should be extremely proud!Posted 03-02-2019 at 07:47 PM by Butterfly
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Thanks for all the kind words everyone, it really was some challenge and I'm super proud to make a full year.
1 year (and a bit) is enough for now thankfully. It's one of the many moments I'm glad I've got a kind sensible Mistress as I'm so addicted to it by now going a little longer sure does seem enticingQuote:Congratulations! Now that you completed 1 full year without a full orgasm, a second year seems quite achievable, don't you think, Jessica?
I've been reluctant to try hypnosis as I like to think of my mind as my own safe space not to be messed with. However, after prolonged denial, it's fair to say my mind's been resoundingly fucked with and I rather liked it. So no I haven't tried it (or even heard of it) but am open to the idea of trying something like that. I might do a blog about hypnosis as it's something I'd like to learn more about (probably before embarking on something with potentially long-term effectsQuote:If I might ask, have you ever tried Cal's curse?
)
2 weeks can be really hard for some people (I'd say the first month of energy build up is torture). I think it all depends how much you orgasm normally and when I'm not kink active and/or busy with other things I can happily go weeks without an orgasm. Actively thinking about it is far more challenging though.Quote:Thank you for an interesting report. I've flirted with the thought of denial (with ruined orgasms) but haven't gone further than, I think, two weeks. But that already gave me some foretaste of how arousal changes, how I might find new energies...Posted 03-03-2019 at 06:14 AM by PrincessJessica
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Yes, a sensible mistress is golden. We are all way too eager once we are so horny. I wish you huge amounts of amazing ful orgasms once your denial is over. For a couple of weeks. And then maybe another next denial period after. Or whatever you like. Who knows.
Posted 03-03-2019 at 06:39 AM by CSasha
