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No. You are not punching above your weight.

Posted 09-13-2018 at 04:01 AM by pranadevil

So, had a friend elsewhere trigger something earlier when she said she was "punching above her weight".

She's not, she's gorgeous. But that's also not why she's not punching above her weight. She's not because it doesn't matter what people external from her and her partner think, and the only person that matters when it comes to whether they want to be with her, is her partner.

It's not whether society says someone needs to be of a certain "level" of hotness or they are beneath your standard. Who tells you what your standard is? I bet you like something not "standard" about a partner. Some like larger men or women, some like tall thin partners, long hair, shaggy beards.. I actually like a slight overbite, no clue why, but I like it.

The point is, if you like what society would view as a "flaw" (and let's be honest, those "flaws" make us all unique), then why can't people want you because of yours?

You are special, you're uniquely you, and if someone has come to you and wants to be with you, it's not "despite" these things, it's because of them. They want you because of how you are. Fat, thin, big nose, small nose, spots, freckles... and anything and everything else, they want you because you are you.

"Punching above their weight" denotes that if someone is viewed as, for arguments sake, an 8/10 on some dumb chart they can only date similar levels of people, that is putting people into the position of cattle, that you shouldn't choose someone you want to be with, but with someone who you "deserve" to be with... choice is taken out of it, and that shouldn't happen.

Also, hearing that you are punching above your weight from others will, as time goes on, ruin someone's self confidence. If you were constantly told "lucky you, your partner could do so much better but they stick around" you will start to think they will leave, start to believe you are ugly and worthless, and eventually, sooner or later, the relationship is likely to fall apart due to it.

So no, you are not punching above your weight, you are exactly where you need to be, and your partner wants you. And if you don't have a partner, that's fine too, because you will find someone who likes you for who you are, and what you look like. In fact, they may well be looking at you right now thinking you are out of their league, and are too ashamed to approach you.

And if you approach someone and they say no, that's fine, they have different things they look for in a person, and this is fine too. You are great as you are.
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  1. Old Comment
    the64bitbot's Avatar
    I wanted to rate this writing but it wouldn't let me. So I'm just going to say this and the other one are good writings.
    Posted 09-13-2018 at 07:23 AM by the64bitbot the64bitbot is offline
  2. Old Comment
    pranadevil's Avatar
    Thanks! As long as they help one person think differently, either through their own confidence, or not knocking someone else down, I feel they were worth posting.
    Posted 09-13-2018 at 02:30 PM by pranadevil pranadevil is offline
 

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