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I am a romantic slut

Posted 10-02-2016 at 05:02 PM by CSasha

I am a romantic slut. The slut part is easy. Except for some busy or sad phases I not only still have an intense sexual desire, I am also lazy and have a below average standard of keeping my space and stuff clean, as well as regarding my care for beautiful cloth and looks. And of course I have a filthy mind, quite a bunch of kinks and pretty dark fantasies.

But I am also romantic. Though I have supressed my sexual drive and kinks for decades due to a subconscious education about normal manners, principles and behavior, I have also always had a fable and heart for people. Sometimes I desired to just have sex with someone, but I really wanted to only do it with feelings involved. It's not so much about flowers, gifts or other little things on the surface. For me it is more about attention, care and as I have recently become aware of: a character with mind, heart and soul.

So in practice while I can play with anyone, it quickly stops at the second rejection of a dare or command without a speak up of reasons or counterproposals. Or after the very common chicken out, logout or escape after an orgasm, only to return days later when the arousal has build up again, but without any message in between. Or the pretty lame "Please command me and give me dares. I'll be your slave at your disposal. (Optional: Use me without limits). But here's what I had in mind. Oh that what you want just now? No no, that not. And not so slow. I am inpatient. And lazy. And I didn't read or remember any of your details." There are so many people to play more satisfied with. I don't need to stand any bad behavior from people who show no respect towards me as a person, as a whole fellow human being, beside my kinky interests. I know these people are human fellow beings, too, but I am not supposed or able to save the whole world. And even the little change I am there to be responsible requires me to take for myself first. So I quickly drop troublesome people I don't emotionally attach to.

On the other hand, I tend to quickly emotionally attach to people who show some respect and care towards me. They can drop out of a dare or game, dive away for days and make any other little sins that usually turn me off. I not only know they have their reasons, and most often they explain themselves, but they already opened up and with their lovely behavior encouraged me to open up to them as well, share my experiences, thoughts and feelings. They let me like, love and forgive them a lot. Especially when our relationship endured over different high and lows of our lives, and messages of plain non-sexual interest were exchanged. A simple "how do you do?" here and there. Some personal stories, private information. One after another building up trust.
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