Feeling good (Finally)

It's been a while since I can truly say I've felt good. Don't get me wrong I've done so many enjoyable things the past week that did make me feel good, such as my dance show and drama play but I was never truly feeling good.

You see there's been so much going on in my life over the past six weeks that I haven't really been able to stop and just relax.

First off I got ill from working my body to its extreme maximum, which left me weak and sick. I even got signed off the last week of lectures at uni.

Then I went on tour for two weeks. An incredible time for me as I got to spend time with my friends and team but also a time where I was still ill and having to work my body to its maximum while still weak - not a good combination and it lead to several early nights.

Then I came back to uni. I had a disagreement with my master and 'his friends' posted a horrible message about me here on getdare which hurt a lot.

On top of that it was straight into rehearsals for my dance show and play. Only issue was, they kept clashing so I kept getting stressed over them and how underprepared I was as well as dealing with the fall out from the master issue and attempting to keep on top of my lectures (I managed to attend everything but I have put off a hell of a lot of revision).

Then Friday I had my dance show which was amazing and fun but the next day I was in tech rehearsals all day for the play and Sunday I was back on the same stage performing again, but this time acting.

You might think well thats over now. Nope, Monday I then had to go and tech for the other cast of the play and since then I have been exhausted. Yesterday I was so tired and ill, I failed to make lectures for the first time.

Today is my day off so I'm going to spend it revising (which makes me feel good) but I also feel good because I suppose everything has accumulated to an end.

Tuesday I received a message from someone I use to hold in high esteem telling me I needed to stop and think because without them I wouldn't be able to stand up for myself. I don't think they were quite expecting me to stand up for myself against their message as they haven't replied to me responding to their empty threats. I think they got the picture and are leaving me alone, which makes me feel good.

And although I was ill last night I went out to celebrate with my drama society on a boat party. I had an incredible time but I also managed to get in a RAK which made me feel ill.

Typically Wednesday is social night so students basically get very drunk. While sitting at the bus stop there was a boy, coming back to the same campus, who was... well to be polite he was smashed. He'd spent a good part of the half an hour we were sat at the bus stop, passing out and almost falling off the seat (hey, I'm small. I can barely hold my own weight let alone someone elses). I woke him up, made sure he paid for the bus, sat him down and... then he threw up and he got kicked off. I couldn't just leave him so I followed him off and stayed with him until he has finished being sick (I do admit I stood about 4ft away from him while he was throwing up as I can't deal with sick but I did keep an eye on him). After throwing up I decided waiting for another bus was pointless because if we got kicked off another, we'd be waiting an hour at whatever stop we were at for another. So I called a taxi.

We were charged an extortionate amount because he was that ill and our road to campus was closed, the taxi driver had to stop the car and let the boy out so he could throw up, because I could certainly not afford the £100 cleaning charge. Eventually we got back to campus and I funded the majority of the car (the boy had sobered up enough and contributed all of his money towards it (£8) but we were still loads short). I then walked him to his block of flats and up the stairs to his flat as I didn't want him falling and hitting his head. As I was returning to my flat I realised it made me feel good helping someone, and although I was £22 down and feeling queasy myself after watching him throw up, I felt thoroughly good about myself.

And my final feeling good point is that I'm soon going to be owned again. I'm trial running potential masters from next week and then I will be in a happy, safe relationship which makes me happy.

Star