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I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
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Negotiation 101

Posted 09-19-2017 at 01:00 AM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

A reference for people doing RL scenes and play and things they might want to negotiate. Inspired by a list taught at a negotiation and communication class at my local dungeon.

Before you negotiate a scene with someone, check yourself.
  • Are you in a positive frame of mind?
  • H.A.L.T. Am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired?
  • Is my judgement impaired somehow be it from alcohol, drugs, or simply lack of sleep?

People:
  • Does anyone else need to consent to this negotiation? (Another partner,
...
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The R Word

Posted 03-26-2017 at 12:48 AM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

He didn't do that. It might sound like he did, but he didn't. It was just poor communication. Because that sort of thing has certain connotations. That sort of thing happens while you're unconscious or with a knife to your throat. He didn't do that.

We were both drunk and had been doing sexual stuff all night. I was at his place and our mutual friend had left, leaving us alone on his bed. He was pretty dominant with me and he knew I loved it. He made me give him a handjob, even though...
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How Far We've Come

Posted 01-24-2017 at 01:47 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Updated 01-24-2017 at 08:23 PM by techiegirl
Tags rants, techie

Everyone has that bad year. The year you'll always remember of when you hit rock bottom. If you haven't had this year yet, trust me it's coming. People can have several years that go into this category of course. I have years where my life was falling apart but that was because of other events and I didn't hit my limit.

My year started the moment I started to self harm. It was four years ago today. Four days before my birthday and back then I was going to be turning seventeen.
...
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A Series of Kinky Events

Posted 01-15-2017 at 03:02 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Tags kinky, rants, techie

Monsters exist in everyone's life. A shadow in the corner of your eye or a nightmare that follows your every step. Not all monsters are visible and some you haven't even met. I always picture my demons as some horrendous shapes in the darkness. Not all are physical and some were created by my own design. They are predatory, with sharp teeth and glowing eyes. They stalk me at night, clawing at my mind while they whisper atrocities in my ear.

Sometimes, to fight my monsters, I become an...
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Look At Me

Posted 01-13-2017 at 06:46 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Tags rants, techie

Anyone who knows me rather well might understand that I tend to overthink things. A lot of the time it's kinky things. Why do I enjoy submission? Why am I a brat? Why are limits important?

Lately, the focus has been on body image. How does kink effect my body image? I've been writing about this quite a bit lately, simply been on my mind a lot.

I am usually at least somewhat aware of my physical appearance. Except when I'm playing. During a scene, my mind goes blank. I...
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I'm Swooning

Posted 12-28-2016 at 11:38 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

As I contemplate this blog, wondering if I have anything to say and how to go about, I'm refraining from grabbing my purse and indulging in my not-so-secret love.

Romance novels.

Tortured men, glamorous women, and an undeniable connection that makes them irresistibly attracted to one another. Dashing pirates, feisty damsels, and a prolonged fight for control, where of course the woman gives. How on earth could I resist?

I adore books. I will read any genre...
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Shame Spiral

Posted 12-23-2016 at 07:47 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Updated 12-23-2016 at 10:40 PM by techiegirl
Tags kinky, rants, techie

My number one advice nowadays for people is to get involved in the BDSM community. It has changed my life and I will always be grateful to the friends who convinced me to go to my first event.

As time has gone by, I've become more involved. I go to classes, I volunteer, and I try to help new people that I meet. BDSM is inclusive, or it tries to be, and so many people are welcome. As long as your kink is done consensually and safely, BDSM will include you. The people might not, but people...
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